Catching Idle Butterflies

Seeking the Light

Many times the answers we are looking for come not from within, but from without. In this case, whether or not I should prepare an answer when someone approaches me about the existence of God or the reason behind my faith, I’m leaning toward not. This is an email TeflonMike sent me that I thought was a perfect example how speaking what’s on my heart and mind at the time is all the preparation I need:

I read your blog entry today and it got me to thinking.

There was a fellow over at work that made a comment like that. We had been talking and he was reading the newspaper and said, "How could you possibly believe there is a God?"

So I said, "Look around at all of the perfection, not at the imperfection of man."

So he comes back with "Look at this, this guy has money, a big house, cars, everything, and he's a drug dealer."

So I told him, "The devil already owns him, he's not going to bother him anymore. As for the person who tries to do what's right, that's the one he's going to constantly put stumbling blocks in front of."

He walked off, not saying nothing, but about a week later, he came up to me and said, "I got to thinking about what you said, and you're right. Thanks." And he walked off. Well, that told me I must have said something right, because at least he was thinking about it.

All Christians are called to spread the Good News, and it’s something most take very seriously. But I think we also make the mistake in trying too hard, in the end pushing people farther away from God instead of drawing them near. I think the reason is we depend on our own strengths instead of leaning on God, thereby not allowing Him to work through us. But we also need to prepare, not so much what we will say in any given circumstance, but to study and learn God’s Word, and to constantly pray for strength, wisdom, and above all that God’s will be done, not ours. I know at least for me, my will and God’s are rarely in sync.

TeflonMike then added this:

Which reminds me of a painting that was in my grandparents' house. It had two roads, one was rocky, rough with holes and weeds and briars, the other was smooth as glass. I asked my grandmother about it and she told me, "Those are the roads to heaven and hell." And then to my surprise, she said, "The one that's rough and rocky is the road to heaven, it's not easy getting there. The one that's smooth, well, it's much easier to go the wrong way."

As you can see, I haven't forgotten that.

Looking back on my own life, I remember my first introduction to God quite clearly. Like TeflonMike ’s experience with his Grandmother’s statement, it was a simple, almost off-hand comment that the person who said it likely didn't have a clue just how profound I took it to mean.

For me, it was something my father said.

This was the first time our father made contact after my mom resumed custody and expressed his desire to see Margaret and I. Mom allowed him to take us on a weekend trip to Glenwood Springs.

After we arrived at the motel room, he gave us each a Living Bible with our names imprinted in gold script on the cover.

I honestly didn’t know what to think about the gift. My mom being an atheist, I had never stepped foot in a church, and there was not one Bible in the house that I knew of. The very idea of God seemed strange, and even to my 10 year old understanding of the natural world at that time, I didn’t believe in the existence of Heaven or Hell. And if those didn’t exist, certainly God was also a fantasy.

Spiritual realms, things that can’t be seen or touched had never before occurred to me.

But then he said something that struck me, and like TeflonMike it has yet to leave my mind after all these years.

“Jesus is known as the Light of the World,” he said. “The reason for that is because light always banishes the dark. The dark can hide from the light, but darkness can never banish the light.”

I remember gazing at the lamp in the corner of the motel room, mentally switching off and on that lamp, testing his premise. I realized then I couldn’t argue, and perhaps there was something to this God and Jesus thing after all.

I have been seeking God’s Light ever since.