My Life on a Plate

Scarlett Moments

Much as Sardinia is a beautiful island and I enjoyed my holiday, there were moments when I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

1. On arrival, I visited the loo in our room and then spent several minutes pondering how to flush it. There was no handle, no button, no pedal on the floor and I was rather puzzled until I spotted a metal disk on the wall with a small button in the centre. Nothing happened when I pushed it so I tried pulling it and sure enough it moved. There seemed to be some string attached to it so I pulled it a bit more but alas, the loo remained silent and unflushed. It was only when I'd pulled the string the whole length of the bathroom I realised it was a washing line. There was a flat panel above the loo which simply needed a slight push to flush the toilet. DUH

2. After our first meal as we walked around the grounds admiring the gorgeous view, I commented to hubby there must be a church just outside the grounds and pointed out the lovely little wooden cross just peeking above the rooftops. Hubby took great delight in informing me it was the top of a telegraph pole. DUH.

3. On the first day hubby went to the reception point to book a couple of trips. I waited outside and got talking to an Englishman who was waiting for his wife to return. He asked about our flight to Sardinia and I told him when I saw our plane, it was so small I thought it was an airfix model. I continued to joke that anyone carrying excess weight wouldn't have managed to get up the steps, never mind down the gangway. Half way through my sentence his wife appeared - to say she was a rather large lady would be an understatement. DUH

4. Lunch time meals were always buffets and self service apart from the hot food. One lunch time I decided to have some of the spaghetti being served by one of the waiters. When I returned to our table I noticed it didn't look much like the bolognese I was used to at home. In fact, there appeared to be great lumps of meat in it. On closer inspection the great lumps seemed very rubbery and covered in tentacles. I'm afraid the plate was rapidly discarded and I returned to fetch a cheese sammich as that's all I could stomach. DUH

5. After landing back in England on Saturday morning, hubby and I waited by the conveyor for our luggage. After fifteen minutes we were the only people left and no more cases were coming along the belt. I had visions of being left with no clothes, shoes, presents or cosmetics and worst of all losing that bag I'd spent a fortune on in Sardinia. After enquiring, it seemed we were waiting at the wrong conveyor and our luggage was orphaned on the other side of the airport lounge. DUH

My hairdresser keeps trying to persuade me to change the colour of my hair, but I think it suits me just as it is. lol

Anyway, enough of that, but before I go a HUGE thank you to vivacious for designing this wonderful illustration for my humble blog. Isn't it brilliant?