Catching Idle Butterflies

Chipping away . . .

“Move that rock.”

It seems like such a simple request. Heck, I’ve moved lots of rocks, even managed to skip a few along a pond.

I step forward along the beach thinking, “Oh, yes, I can do this.”

But then with each step closer to that rock, it gets bigger and bigger. I stand at the foot of it and realize the task is impossible. I am too small, this rock far too big.

I stare at it and with each passing second the rock continues to loom larger, blocking out the sun. I soon fear the rock will shift, crushing me with its impossible weight.

I glance around me and see others standing before their own stones looking just as confused, frightened and despondent as me. I long to help them, but I realize their rocks are just as large or even larger than my own. How can I help them in any way? How can I, tiny weakling that I am help them, especially since I have my own rock to return to eventually?

“Move that rock.”

I hear that voice, confident and self-assured. I want to scream at it, “It’s impossible!”

“Move that rock.”

I return to my rock and stare up at it, still thinking I had no business to even try. I should let it crush me and get it over with.

Someone comes over to stand next to me, then another and another. I look around and notice these people had come to me holding hammers and chisels. One points at my feet and shows me my own tools. I then understand as I pick up my own hammer and chisel. Moving my rock requires not to push with one big heave, but to pick it apart one piece at a time. It’s a slow, grueling process, but its worth it, and for several reasons.

I have others around me to help, it teaches me patience, I only grow stronger the more I work, and as long as I work, the rock will never grow too big.

When I do get a break, I can also return the favor and help others tear down their own looming rocks. I may not be able to take off as big of chunks as others, but every little piece matters, and makes a difference.

I thought of this after reading Budroe ’s latest entry "Invalid Entry" . I couldn’t respond in his blog, because I have no experience either as someone who lives with cancer, or a family member who has had to live with it. Yes, my mother has bladder cancer, but its such a low grade, all they do is cut out the tumors when they pop up and she’s fine for at least another year.

I can’t take away Budroe’s cancer, or the feelings he experiences with each passing day no matter how much I wish it. Perhaps I can chip away a little here and there, barely noticeable, but not even trying, well that does him no good.

He needs joy. Dad informed me I can give him a little joy in another way besides a comment in his blog.

Chip.