Catching Idle Butterflies

Little Devils

Well that didn’t take long. In walking God’s way, we don’t walk alone. Yes, we have God by our side and angels (human and literal) to watch over us, but darker spirits as well, who lurk in the shadows and work ceaselessly to turn us away. They do so one way by whispering nasty thoughts about our weaknesses and fears, tearing down our confidence and our faith in little pieces, sometimes even large chunks.

I mentioned these voices in my January 1 entry about my 2007 plans, and already I’m trying to ignore the whispers. My but it’s hard! Every time I endure this they up their attacks. I’m never strong enough to handle them.

For instance, they tell me right now I shouldn’t have written my previous entry about wanting to die. They keep trying to force me to listen based on lack of comments as well as twisting around the comment I did get to mean something other than intended.

They know what buttons to push, but they don’t merely push, they pound. Their whispers turn to screeches after a while, and I long for them to shut up, willing to do almost anything to get them to stop . . . even giving in.

Three times I’ve considered removing my entry, adding instead something meaningless.

God, I hate this. Hell, eating Lava soap is preferable so I will say it: Shit!

Still, I will move forward. Because of these voices I know I’m moving in the right direction. If I wasn’t, why would they bother me so?

A little prayer and devotional time is in order, I think. Only through leaning on God will I gain whatever strength I need to get past these little devils.