Second Helpings

Coathanger Co-ordinates

When I spoke to my son on the phone last week he suggested they may be returning to England in May and joked I'd better have his room ready. I'm not sure how he expects me to turn a young bachelor's tip into a boudoir for a young married couple, but will tackle him on that nearer the date. One day at a time and all that.

I have actually been periodically tidying and cleaning his bedroom since he left and have intended to acquire some more coat hangers, as some of his last washed and ironed clothes are still residing on the back of his computer chair. But no shop I've visited has actually sold coat hangers apart from the pretty padded ones and I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate those.

In a moment of brilliance I decided to look on ebay and eureka there are hundreds of coat hangers going cheap. I was pleased with my purchase of two dozen matching blue ones, even if the postage was more than the cost of the hangers. I was not too pleased when the post person knocked on the door with them before daylight this morning however.

But I'm happy to report son's clothes are now hanging neatly on co-ordinated blue coat hangers. This has however created a few problems. Firstly, there weren't enough, so I now have to check back on ebay and see if I can find more of the same. Then I had to consider where exactly he intends keeping his new wife when he arrives and more to the point, do I need to order pank coat hangers for her clothes?

This in turn caused me to reflect on the coat hangers in all the other wardrobes in the house and made me aware just what a hotchpotch of colours and shapes they are. I now have OCD as regards coathangers and feel I'm about to empty my bank account buying up sets of various coloured coathangers from ebay to match the decor. I'm really proud I use my money and time so wisely.

I'm also thinking of hosting a competition to see if anyone can explain why my hubby has barely spoken to me in two days. As far as I know I haven't had an affair, cleared out the joint account, spent hours on the phone, been missing for any length of time or grown a beard so I'm quite puzzled as to why I'm getting the silent treatment. Answers on a postcard please.

If it wasn't for my parents I think I'd pack a case, get on a plane and disappear for a few weeks. I'm sure he'd survive providing he didn't trip over his bottom lip. No doubt whatever crime I've commited will be revealed eventually. Not too far in the distant future I hope; I can't wait to find out what I'm guilty of this time. Maybe he's sulking because I haven't bought him new coathangers.