Timing is Nothing

(Chpt 3) Failure

The day of reckoning came far too quickly. I spent the day rearanging over sized furniture around the office while simutaniously cleaning up the photo area and dressing rooms.Since our space was used for so many differenent services, Faceshots was a very unique office.
Our entrance was a tiny box with two doors behind the reception where I sat. The door to my left would take you into our very large conference room where various meeting and auditions were held. From there you would pass through another door that lead to the Photo room, a true sancturay for any photographer. Marlene and Ben had that room decked out with the latest in techonoligy that photographers from all over North America booked months in advance just to see. Through the last door you would find our Beauty room which was wall to wall mirrors and the brightest lights I've ever seen. There were a few tables here and there to place your belongings but it was sparce.From there you would exit to the door on the right side of reception and see yourself out of the office. It truely was a large space for such a small company.With the rooms all connected it made for a very interesting set up but it would allow all attendees to "see behind the scenes" as Ben had put it. Like anyone really cared.
I swept, mopped, dusted, polished and scrubbed the whole area. Again, not in the job description! Ben helped me move the tabled oak table in the confernce room against a wall, but other than that, I was on my own. I never cease to amaze myself though, I pulled it off.
I put up the rice lamps, installed dimmer switches into the lights (Marlene was none to impressed with this move as I did not run it by her first), and placed balloons, flowers and candles through out the rooms. Man, I was on a roll.
At the end of the work day I rushed over to a salon by my house. As a Thank you from Marlene and Ben they got me a little beauty package. I'm not sure if it was because they didn't find me capable of hair and make up or if it really was just them trying to be nice. I sat down for the first time that day completely exhausted and thankful to have no more responsibility other than dressing myself a little later on.
"So hunnay, what did you have in mind for tonight?” a very tall, obviously gay man asked. He was so stereo typical that it hurt, but adorable none the less. He was about six feet tall and reminded me of Jay from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
"Anything at all, just do me" I said.
"Hunnay, I wish more people said that to me" he giggled "But I won’t do you, I will coif you. I will mold you, I will transform you. Anything but do you". We both laughed at his little rant, I liked him.
I told him what I was wearing, how I had decorated, what food I had ordered from the most delightful little place...
"Date?"
"What?"
"Hunnay! You must have a date! A scrumptious little thing like you" He started twirling my hair in his fingers.
"O s***!" I had completely forgotten that Marlene had invited someone for me." Yeah. My boss set me up; I don’t even know his name"
"I know just what to do" Off he went in a whirl wind of hairspray and gel, blow dryers and curling irons. Next thing you know he's basically on top of me with foundations, powders, brushes and lip-gloss. I've never seen anyone work so quickly. He babbled on about how much he loved doing impromtue hair and that I was a great specimine. I wasn't paying much attention now that I had been reminded of my date. I was starting to feel nervous.
When I could see the mirror, my thoughts were interrupted and the end product was magnificent! I felt like a movie star out of the 40's. I had a thin line of black eyeliner on my upper lids with a slightest hint of a shimmer gold eye shadow. I had pouty pale pink lips and rosy cheeks. My hair was in very loose waves that trickled all the way down to the middle of my back, amazing.
"Can I keep you?" I blurt out, only meaning to think it.
"Hunnay I'll give me to you. You have fantastic hair. You're face isn't much but it's fun" He poked my nose as if I were 7.
I tipped him big time and told him I would come back again, which I fully intended to do.
When I got back to our humble apartment there was no one home. I ate a little left over pizza, watched a few info-murcials and afterwards wandered off to put on my dress.
It was a simple dress, much like me. It was a black knee-ish length dress made from clingy, matte fabric. To look at it from the front was really quite deceiving. You could tell that it was pretty but it looked more like something Marlene should be wearing, not something someone my age would be wearing. Look at it from the back however and it was dipped right down to almost the top of my bum in a perfect V. My back wasn't naked though, it was covered by extremly sheer fabric that had a hint of a sparkle to it. Multiple strands of black and white sequins’  covered the sheer fabric and caught the eye dramatically.
Outside I heard the apartment door shut, I was really excited for them to see me all dolled up. As I dramatically strutted myself out from my bedroom to the kitchen both Ava and Mark started to laugh hysterically at my mannerisms.
"Canada's Next Top Model or what?" uttered Ava through tears. I always knew what tickled her funny bone.
"Do you like it?" I already knew the answers but I wanted to hear it out loud.
"You look like  Brunette Barbie."
"Absolutely fabulous" joked Mark with a flick of his wrist and a roll of his eyes.
"I know." I stated as firmly and straight-faced as possible.
"So will your hawt date" Mark winked. Again I had failed to remember that I would have a man to entertain. I was actually straight faced now.
"Yeah, him" Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. I put on my patent leather black pumps and stumbled out the door and to my cab. He better not be Mr. 30 year old loser man who still lives with his mother and sings in a Star Trek choir, or I'll stab myself with my very expensive shoe. I can find those boys on my own without the help of Marlene and Ben.

--

Only the caterer had arrived by the time that I walked in. There was still an hour before anyone was to come and even then, I'm sure most people would arrive fashionably late. I kept myself busy with re-arranging what I had accomplished earlier in the day. Half an hour before people were to arrive Marlene walked in with Ben. They had only been in the office for an hour that morning so this was the first time they could see what I had done with the space. They're eyes were huge but I couldn’t read their expressions. I didn't know what to do. Finally Ben spoke.
"Josie, this looks like a whole new office! The tables look great." He winked at me clearly pleased.
"This is fab darling. Really wonderful. I was skeptical about the black and white as well as the dimmers, but I was wrong. You have created a very swish atmosphere!" Ok. I did well, yeah for me!  I looked around and surveyed my work. Anyone who had previously been in our conference room, would not recognize it. The oak table was covered in pearly white fabric and a large spread of food and candles on top. The chairs were scattered here and there along the opposite wall with the dame fabric layed on the. From the ceiling hung a few lamps all dimmed slightly. The glow from the candles and the low lights gave the room the feeling of a posh lounge you would see in a movie, not an office building. All the rooms were just as I imagined them to be, I was proud.
The bartenders arrived shortly and set up fort in the far corner of the picture room. The DJ set up in the dressing rooms which had been cleared out completly. At the entrance way one of our best photographers was taking pictures of guests at they trickled in a show of thanks for their attendance. He was also instructed to walk around room to room thought out the night and snap away until his heart was content and his trigger finger was about to fall off.
I greeted the guests as they entered and did everything a good hostess should. I complemented everyone, smiled consistantly and laughed heartly as I directed guests to Marlene's secret birthday card and the bar. Nearly everyone invited attended and brought a guest filling all the rooms quickly. The editors from a few local papers had come with their own photographers, the mayor and his daughter were there and so were most of our most popular clients.
With guests locked insided I carefully yet tactfully avoided my bosses in hopes that I could shake the date. I ran around checking stock. Lots of food, check. Lots of booze, well there's never enough at a business function but it looked like what we had would do so check. Lot's of people, check. I also made sure that people were enjoying themselves by engaging them in small talk and reminding them of the "40 something" birthday surprise I had lined up and that they had signed the card. It was a tacky surprise but both Ben and I thought she would enjoy it.
When I was in the back chatting with the caterer, who was very cute but also very gay, I found myself cornered.
"You have been working to hard tonight my darling. Your education can stop for a bit and you can enjoy yourself. There is someone I want you to meet. He is incredibly handsome and I hear he is amazing in bed" My eyes grew so the size of oranges and I started to feel natious.
"Oh, lovely" I didn't really know what to say to that and I didn't particularly want to know how she knew that last bit of info.
I was dragged outside by the hand like a little girl, into the crowd by a 40 something year old woman. I hope when I'm 40 something, I'm just as strong. She whirled me around and she was right, he is scrumtious! He had light brown hair in a kind of shaggy do with green eyes that sparkled. Even though he was in a suit you could tell that underneath, he was full of hard rippling muscles. He had great teeth and a kind aura about him.
"Hello" I said, sounding totally stupid. I couldn't take my eyes off him.
"Hi" he replied confidently.
"Well I'll leave you two alone. Stop working Josie, or I swear I'll fire you! Oh snap!" She sounded as dumb as I felt. I watched her walk away into the crowd and then dumbly stared at my shiny shoes. They were very nice.
"So..." he started, "you organized this all by yourself?"
"Yep, all within a week."
"Cool" This was going no where.
"So..." He started again "how did you start working at Faceshots?'
"Some friends dared me to get a set of my own when I was in high school so I made an appointment. When I came in Marlene worked the front and we started talking about nothing really. More like babbling, like we are now, and she hired me" This was a true story. What I left out is the fact that the bet started because Ava, Steph, Kelly and I were talking about porn stars. Pamela Anderson was on the biography channel and we were pretending to be her. Next thing you know they dared me to get head shots, become famous, and take on Pam Anne on at the Playboy Mansion. According to Ava my centerfold would beat her centerfold.
"They didn't turn out to pretty" I concluded honestly.
"Interesting" Again, this is going no where.
"So..." I started this time, "what do you do?"
"I work for Dell. I manage one of their call centers. Not very exciting work."
"Cool" Again, going no where. This is why I don’t like dating, especially blind dates.
"How do you know Marlene and Ben?" I thought I'd switch it up and leave out the "so" part.
"I know Ben and Marlene through work actually. Before I got into call centers, I actually set up offices with their servers and stuff. I set up this place a couple years ago. Like you, the rest is history." This is lame, pointless and lame.
"Sorry, but I have to excuse myself for a minute and check on the surprise for Marlene's birthday. Did you sign the card? I'll see you later" I excused myself as politely as possible without letting him answer my question about the card.
I really did go and check on the cute caterer I had hired...but I also called home and told Ava all about my strange encounter.
"Is he cute?"
"Yes he's cute." I half whined.
"Just do him! Don’t talk, it's over rated anyway. Problem solved"
"AVA! He's friends with my boss's. I can't do that."
"Don’t be logical just have a little fun."
"Ava if you were single, you'd be such a slut"
"I'd be having the time of my life. Ouch!" I assume that that’s when Mark hit her in the arm.
"Why did he agree to the date in the first place if it's so awkward? Obviously you both didn't want this"
"I don't know. That's a good point though." Ava used logic once in awhile but I had a feeling this one was all Mark; she was just taking the credit.
"Ask him but don't pull a you"
"Pull a me?"
"You are not a subtle person Jo. You need to be very casual and sneaky. Just ask him "so what do you think of the party? O really? Been to anything like it? O you're funny, ha-ha. When did you hear about this little shin dig?" and go from there. Don’t pull a you or it all goes downhill." She's right again. I don't do subtle very well.
I once dated a guy who wasnt very good in bed and it was starting to leave me very frustrated. Over ice cream one night the girls and I got together and dicussed my little dilema. They suggested that I just wear something sexy and casually bring it up. I was supposed to say as sexy as possible "let's do it again" after the first time and then roll on top of him and take charge. In my head I was capable of this but when it came down to it I blurt out "So are we actually going to do it this time because I'm sick of this. It's kind of lame and I know you can do better" I was thinking that by making it a challenge it might go over better but instead he smirked, got dressed and walked out of my life. I deserved that one I suppose and I didn't miss him much anyway. Point is, I can't ease into things; I pass the point of no return far too quickly, in all aspects of my life.
"You're no help." I lied" I'll see you guys in a few hours. I'll bring you home food, it's really good"
"Sneak out a bottle of wine too!" With that, I hung up.
As I let myself get lost in the crowd I found myself pondering this whole subtle thing, maybe I could do it. I grabbed a glass of white wine and downed it in a few gulps. Liquid courage never hurt anyone, embarrassed maybe, but I have that problem sober to.
I spotted him standing by the dance floor in the beauty room. As I made my way over he spotted me too and smiled. God he's pretty.
"I thought you were running away from me" he flashed me the pearly whites.
"I kind of was, but I really did go check on the Caterer", why lie, I don’t know him.
"And how is he doing?"
"Well" I think he had had some liquid courage as well since I left. He was much more talkative.
"Care to dance?" he offered his hand.
"Yes I would thank you" We set out onto the floor. Michael Bouble, my favorite. The best part about organizing this party, was putting together the play list. It was all danceable music, with jazzy crooners and lovely melodies. Very classy.
He pulled me into him and put his arm around the small of my back and my other hand up into his. God he smells good.
"So why did you say yes to being my date tonight?" I blurt out, completely, as usual, ruining the moment.
"Why did you?"
"I didn't, I just didn't have much of a choice" honesty, harsh honesty, is not always the best choice.
"Oh"
"Please don’t be offended, it's just that I don’t do dating and it doesn’t do me and I especially don’t do blind dates and it doesn’t mean that you aren't a great guy or a good guy or a decent guy, because I don’t know which is which yet. It just means that..." I sound like a f***ing idiot.
"I get it, it's ok." he smiled, hopefully amused and not feeling sorry for me and my big mouth. "I agreed because not only did I have nothing else to do and not only do I never turn down a party, you sounded funny and I was intrigued."
"I sounded funny?"
"Well more like klutzy but since we are clearly being brutally honest with each other, I wanted to see if you could even pull this together. It looks like you have"
"Well I’m sorry to disappoint you. Everything has gone right, that must be horribly disappointing" my pride was hurt; I was supposed to fail for this strangers amusement. When the song ended I thanked him quietly and wandered away to go and make sure that the surprise was all ready.