We didn't plan for this to happen

Back in the ICU

October, 2007

She’s in a new pod now, in another part of the ICU. We’ve just taken a giant step backward, and I’ve fallen into a deep depression. Sometimes I feel like we’ll never get out of here, and I keep worrying that something terrible is going to happen. I’m waiting for the bottom to fall out. I try to stay optimistic, but each time I feel hopeful something happens.

The doctor stopped by and had an interesting request, which is helping me to see the silver lining. He’s doing a research study on preemies, and he wants Cadence to take part. Since Cadence is so much healthier than other preemies, he wants to compare her DNA and genes to other children who have serious problems, like those who have to have colostomy bags, be on oxygen machines, have mental retardation, etc. They want to draw a vial of her blood. I signed the consent form. I figure if Cadence can somehow help other babies, it’s worth it for them to stick her one last time.

So I guess if the doc thinks she’s in such great shape that he wants her to be in his study, then I probably shouldn’t worry quite so much. Mom says, “Get used to worrying, now that you’re a mother you’ll be worrying about Cadence your whole life.”