Thursdays With Death

TWD - Chapter 2 - The Next Step

Three weeks after the diner meeting with Death, I opened my car door and slid in. I love the way the leather feels as you slide across it; its suppleness lightly tickles the skin. I slipped the key into the ignition and started the car. As I glanced up in the rearview mirror, those bottomless-pit-for-eyes glared at me from the back seat. The scream I let out, well let’s just say that it was a good thing none of my buddies were with me. And the leather is never going to be the same after I am done cleaning up the mess.

“Jeez, Death,” I screamed. “You scared the crap out of me!”

“Yeah, I did, huh? I always enjoy doing that,” Death laughed. I looked at the blackness that oozed around what should be Death’s face.

          “So, why are you here?” I asked. I thought I had been doing well with dying and all, so the visit surprised me.

“You’ve been doing well lately,” Death confirmed, though I had said nothing. “You’re dying a bit each day. The attachments are dying off too. We’re thinking it’s time for you to take the next step.”

I looked at Death quizzically. “The next step?”

“Yes,” Death replied. “The next step. Dying is good. But loss is better.”

“Dying is good, but loss is better,” I repeated. “What does that mean?”

“It means what it means,” Death stated. “Death is only part of the answer. Remember the statement, ‘One cannot find without losing?”

“Yes,” I replied. Death had made that statement back at the diner.

“Well, loss is the key to finding,” Death continued. “If sacrifice, if giving up, if loss isn’t what you do, if it’s not how you live and breathe, then you’ll never get there.”

Confused, I looked into the blackness of that face and saw an ever-so-small glimmer of light.

Transfixed by the light, it took me a few seconds to respond. “I’ll never get where?” I asked.

          “You know where,” Death stated matter-of-factly. Reaching for the rear passenger door, Death opened it and slid out.

Before closing the door, Death leaned back through.

“So Dude, does anyone else know that you scream like a seven-year-old girl?”

*                              *                              *

Since Death had said I knew what “there” meant, and that I would not get “there” unless there was loss, I decided that I needed some relaxation to figure out where “there” was. One of my favorite ways to relax is to take a ride up into northern Arizona. So early Saturday morning, I hopped on my Vulcan 1500 and headed up toward Payson.

If you’ve never headed north from the east side of the Valley of the Sun on Highway 87, you are really missing some unbelievably beautiful desert landscape. Just north of Fountain Hills, past the turn off for Saguaro Lake is an area chocked full of boulders piled on top of boulders. It’s really a beautiful area. I love to pull off the highway, climb down into the boulders and just stare out, looking at the amazing landscape. But I wanted to ride, so I kept going.

I arrived in Payson around 8:00 am.  I thought about continuing north, but decided to head back down toward the valley and take the back way to Roosevelt Lake. This is a nice two-laner without a lot of traffic, so I could enjoy the ride and think at the same time.
As I rode, I recalled what Death had said. Since I have been on my second journey for a couple of years now, I figured the only thing Death could have meant was that “there” is where this path is taking me: closer to reuniting with the Divine.