Second Helpings

Twelfth Night

It's tradition here to take down Humbug decorations and pack them away for another year on the twelfth night of C*******s. There's debate over whether that is the 5th or 6th of January, depending on whether you count December 25th as the first day or not. No matter, it's always the 5th as far as I'm concerned and not a task I relish. So, after a long overdue trip to the gym, I planned on getting on with the job.

Just as I was about to start, my son and family dropped in. Oh well, people are more important than things, so I abandoned the plans and put the kettle on instead. Little Angel trotted into the kitchen and literally jumped for joy at finding this grumpy, old has-been still in residence. Isn't it great to be loved and trusted? We spent a happy hour with dancing ducks, teddy bear ornaments and anything else around the place that isn't a toy. She even helped me with the tree decorations - as fast as I packed them away in a box, she took them out and danced with them dangling from her tiny hands. I tell you, that kid may be no relation of mine but has a place in my heart I could never have predicted.

Therein lies the rub. I try and try to accept my son's choice of a wife and the life he will now have to lead. He's done well since they returned and is promised a full time job with prospects very soon. I see him bending over backwards to make a life for his little family and going to extremes to ensure Mey Ling and Angel have a secure and happy future. I love and admire him for that.

So why can't I stop the alarm bells ringing in my head? Maybe I've researched the Khmer culture and mindset too much, maybe my negative nature reads too much into situations or maybe I just have an over active imagination.

My son is working full time and is in debt. He's doing his best to cope with it all but I see a young lady who seems to expect everything on a plate. Mey Ling related Paul came home from work yesterday and snuck upstairs to drink a beer. Okay, she was laughing, but from research I gather every penny earned is accounted for by a Khmer girl and she will not approve of money spent on what she considers is not essential.

I have to bite my tongue. If a man wants a few beers after a hard week's work then that's no problem to me. If he has to sneak off to have a drink then it concerns me. But it's not my business any more; it's his choice and he has to work it through.

After a while he announces they have to go as he needs to scale ironing mountain and hoover up. Okay, Mey Ling is disabled and not familiar with electrical devices, but I don't like to think he has to take on so many domestic tasks and look after someone else's child on top of going to work. But again it's his choice and I have to take a step back and let them get on with it.

It then comes to light that Mey Ling's mother in Cambodia has had an accident which has required medical treatment. I know my son forked out for hospital bills for her mother once before. He assured me the money would be returned, but I can't ask for proof of that and the fact is, he couldn't afford it anyway. I won't ask who is footing the bill this time; there's no point as I doubt I'd get an honest answer. I hate not being able to trust people or having to question their motives.

I am trying. On the surface Mey Ling and Paul seem reasonably happy. We are doing our best to help them out and be a welcoming family. I just wish I didn't have this awful feeling things may go belly up and the future of a vulnerable little girl may be at risk. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

In the near future they will move to Derbyshire where Paul works. That will be the testing time when we are not close enough to be there for every problem which may arise. I just pray things will work out one way or another. I won't interfere and will try not to judge and pray I'm here to see a settled outcome.

Kids. We love 'em to pieces whatever they do. I just hope that little Angel will have the opportunity to have a secure and settled future but it's out of my control.

I was going to bed early tonight but blogging got the better of me again. It's just so good sometimes to talk to my friends in here and know they'll understand the concerns in my heart and offer their very valued advice.