Untitled

Chapter One

Chapter One

“Rion!” I heard Corie’s voice from far away, “Cassi’s on the phone!”
His voice seemed louder and closer now; I slapped my hand down on the nightstand and knocked the phone of its hook.
“s***!” I mumbled, as it slammed on to the floor I grabbed frantically for the cord.
“Hello?” I said groggily putting the phone to my ear.
“Rion?” Cassi asked.
“Yeah, what’s up?” I yawned.
“Meet me at the library.” I could hear a smirk in her voice.
“What for?” I asked skeptically.
“Just because.” She was lying to me, Cassi never was good at lying, but I didn’t feel like fighting.
“Alright, I’ll see ya there.” Before she hung up I heard Drake ask a question. I didn’t register what it was though I only heard his voice. It’s one I’ll not soon forget.
I sat up in my bet and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I set my feet on the wood floor.
“Oh f***!” I grumbled and flopped back across my bed, I looked like s***. Taking a cleansing breath I sat back up to get dressed. I didn't feel like taking off my swimsuit from my daily workout, so I yanked a pair of my brother’s old shorts off the floor and a white ribbed tank and shoved them on. I started to brush my long hair, and when I say long I mean long. I can sit on it with out even tilting my head back! I'm getting it cut on December 20th, which is my birthday, and I am going to donate it all to Locks of Love. A zillion hours later it’s brushed smooth. I left it down today, which I don’t normally do, and jogged down the stairs to Corie singing along to the radio. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Whipping around the corner I shouted, “HEY!”
“Jesus!” He looked up from the sandwich he was making. “Hey you left your hair down.” He noticed putting his sandwich to his mouth.
“Yeah I did. I thought it looked nice.” I snatched it out of his hands.
“You won’t like it it’s egg salad.”
I wrinkled up my nose and dropped it back on the black granite counter top disgusted.
Corie smirked and took a bite out of his sandwich. “So r yeh guna cut yer heir er what?” He asked swallowing the mouthful of the revolting sandwich. (I hate egg salad if you hadn’t figured that out.)
“God Corie! How many times do I have to tell you? December 20th!” I sat down on a barstool and noticed how quiet it was.
“Where’s Vee? You let her go to Marsie’s AGAIN didn’t you?” Gah! I swear he’s such a prat sometimes.
“Yeah I did. For one Marsie was pissing me off being all flirty,” I smirked to myself for knowing too much. “And for two dad’s not home to hush them up when they get to rowdy.”
“Why isn’t dad home?” Corie shrugged at me continuing to eat his sandwich. I rolled my eyes in a generally annoyed way and sighed. “Venus is probably over there falling all over Drake.” I stated putting my head in my hands.
“No need to worry on that one,” He mumbled with a knowing smile,
“Pardon me?” I asked but I had heard every single syllable,
“Nothing.” He said slapping on an even larger smile on his face. “But come on Ri you know he won’t fall for that she’s too young for him.”
“I know it’s just annoying and I don’t want Vee getting her first crush smothered by me, she’d hate me more than she already does.”
“Orion Jillian! You don’t honestly believe Vee hates you do you?” He asked before taking the last bite of his food.
“Yeah, I do think she hates me and she has every reason to. It’s my fault anyway.” I didn’t have to say what.

Everyone knows that Venus thinks our mother’s death was her fault because of me. I told on her the day mom was leaving for a business trip in New York, she should have only been gone for a few days at most. But she never came back. I went to school that morning, normal as ever. I rode bus six to Lake Prairie Elementary School, took my things to my locker and went to class. Sitting at my desk in Miss Little’s fifth grade class going through the day like I always did pretending, that my parents weren’t on the verge of a divorce, that Corie and I didn’t have to try and raise Venus because my mom and dad weren’t doing it, that I was just as normal as all the other fifth graders in the room. I had to walk home that day because I had a school newspaper meeting after school and no one was home to pick me up.  I walked in the door and didn’t hear what I usually did, instead of cartoons I heard CNN, I thought that was odd so I walked into the living room suspiciously. My dad was on the couch his eyes all puffy and red, he’d obviously been crying and as I got closer I could tell he’d been drinking as well. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to go to Cassie’s house that he wasn’t in the mood to deal with us kids just now.
As I got to Cassie’s house not bothering to knock again I hear newscasters; sounding worried and flustered about something; then something familiar, my mothers flight number, I stopped dead in my tracks in the entry way, listening to the reporters words. Not wanting to miss anything, I held my breath until she had finished. In those few seconds I knew that the horrible feeling in my stomach was not from my nasty school lunch, but from my uncanny knowledge of what is not said. My mother was dead; no one had to tell me I knew. Today was no normal day, not anymore, today was a day like no other I had ever lived.
Snapping me out of my flashback was Corie’s voice, “Come on, Ri, you know she still loves you.”
“Love me, yes. Like me, no. I want her to like me, as my sister she has to love me but I want her to like me. I don’t want her to have any more reason to not like me than she already does.”
“She looks up to you. Even though she says she hates you, she still wants to be like you.”
“No she doesn’t, she wants to try out for freshman cheer team, I never wanted to be a fake blonde bimbo, I like breaking the mold.”
“You know what, I don’t think she really wants to be a cheerleader. I think she’d rather be a ballerina, like you used to be. But then you quit and now she thinks it’s not cool.”
“How do you know?”
“Believe it or not Rion, she talks to me. Know what else. She has an A plus in her art class, she wants to draw and paint like you, she wants to be smart and sweet like you. She wants to write like you too. And have you noticed how long her hair is lately? She dyed it to look more like yours.”
“Well, this is heartwarming and all, but this conversation needs to take place at a different time, perhaps when Vee is actually around. Right now I need a lift to the library.”
“Is that why Cassie called?”
“Yeah, she just wanted to hang out, maybe some guy talk. Don’t you have a book due today?”
“Yeah, it’s in the truck, let’s go.” He turned his back to me and I heard him take a few cleansing breaths as he walked to the carport door and grabbed his keys.
I walked to the counter by the door and grabbed my cell. I hopped across the steps and to the passenger side of his gray ’94 Dodge 1500. (He swears it’s his unborn child, it’s so pathetic.) Corie was already in wiggling the gearshift in neutral as I sat down. I slammed my door and he revved the engine. Everything around me rumbled and the radio blasted.
“4-2 Astros, 2 outs Cubs bottom of the seventh.” Ron or Pat (I can never remember who is who.) practically shouted. “You’re listening to the Pat and Ron show. Voice of the Cubs, Radio 720, WGN.”
“Awe man that’s depressing. Change it Rion.” He said peeling out of the carport.
I poked the FM button for some music and on popped Q101; he only listens to that station when something’s bugging him. “What’s up Cor?”
“Nothin’.” He said shifting lazily.
“Look it’s gotta be about –”
“Listen Rion,” he said cutting me off, “you don’t want to hear it, trust me. Besides then you’d go and tell her and then…and then.” He finished lamely.
“And then what Cor…you’d finally start living in f***ing reality instead of just imaging the possibilities?  s***, I thought I had a better brother then that! Besides you’re the one who taught me to never let anyone keep you from your dreams…and, well this is definitely one of your dreams.”
He jabbed his finger at the number three preset button, Z107 came on with an extremely cheery song.
“Cor, why don’t you talk to me anymore?”
“Cause, it’s not important.”
“If it’s bothering you this much it’s important. What is it about her? You can tell me. If you really don’t want me to say anything I won’t.”
“Don’t worry about it, Ri, I’ve got things covered.”
“Alright. Fine, don’t f***ing tell me, see if I give a s***.”
He pulled into the parking lot up to Drake’s, insanely shiny, silver Volvo. Their parents are kind of loaded. Cassie asked if she could have a red convertible mustang as a back to school present, and get this they’re actually getting it for her.
I got out of the truck in a furry and stormed through the parking lot to the library doors which opened automatically for me. I took a moment in the lobby to compose myself and get a drink from the water fountain. I walked into the main library and spotted Drake right away. He was standing at the back resource desk talking to a girl from school I’m pretty sure her name is Sulis; she’s in Drake’s grade but a total whore. I walked back there and at about five feet away from the desk I could, unfortunately, see down her shirt to a stupid little covers nothing red silk bra. She totally had the muffin effect; the tops of her breasts were falling over her bra in an extremely unattractive way. The way that when she starts laughing you wonder if her nipples are going to pop out if she laughs a little to hard.
“Hey Drake, where’s Cassie?” I say interrupting her flirting.
“Oh uh…” I have to admit, Drake as sane as he is, does happen to be a member of the male species and is affected by Sulis and her “good looks.” “Yeah, she’s just over here.” He walked away from the desk; I followed him, after walking for a while I decided to speak.
“So, Sulis she seems nice. You two have anything going?” Drake looked offended.
“Me with Su, you’re kidding right?”
“No and neither are you.” I said glancing down. He blushed lightly at my overly observant personality.
“Ok yeah, but she’s too shallow for me.”
“Really? Not just a quick f*** in the library bathroom during her break? Oh come on you can tell me.”
“No, I don’t do that. You should know.” I looked up at him questioningly.
“Why would I know?” He looked back down at me.
“You know that one night?” I nodded my head calmly but the voice in my head was saying ‘Remember how the hell could I forget?!?’
“Well that’s as far as I’ve ever been.”
One night during my freshman year, during my extremely horrible phase, I was drunk after a party and was staying at Cassie’s cause my dad was home and her parents don’t care what we do as long as we stay out of the way. Anyway I stumbled into Drake’s room meaning to go to the bathroom, when I saw him I got all lusty and walked over to him and kissed him, we made out for a while and, well mind you I was drunk totally wasted, I did something I would never do sober. He stopped me before I got there telling me I should sober up before I did anything I regretted.
“Well, I wish I could say the same, but uh…well you know that story.”
“Yeah I do.”
“So where’s your sister?”
“Oh, right!”
“You have no idea do you?”
“Nope, I had to get away from Sulis, thanks for saving me by the way.” He looked truly thankful.
“Well what do you say we find her?”
“Can I talk with you first?”
“Sure, what is it Drake?”
“Well, I was just wondering maybe you wanted to go do dinner on Sunday maybe see a movie?”
I smiled and said, “Yeah, sure. Is this a date or are we going as friends?” He just sort of looked at me. “Ok, so a date it is.” I smiled again and we looked for Cassie together in a silence that was perfectly normal and not awkward, which is good.
“Hey Ri! I’ve been looking for you. Drake,” she nodded at him, “Corie is over by the games if you want to chat with him.” Drake gave a little nod to her and his classic smirk to me. We watched him walk away and then when he was safely out of hearing distance we started talking.
“Girl, he likes you. He gave you the smirk.”
“I know!” I squealed quietly, jumping up and down. “Did Corie say anything to you?”
“Well, kind of…”
“What’d he ask?”
“If I would come hang out on Sunday.”
“That’s when Drake and I are going out. What are you two doing?”
“He said he was going to cook for me, the most extraordinary thing he could think of. And we’re renting his favorite movie, “Liar, Liar” What about you two?”
“Well he’s not cooking for me, I don’t think, and since neither of you can, that’s ok with me and then we’re going to a movie.”
“Aw… you have the classic first date and I have the we’re married date. At least they finally asked.”
“Yeah really.” Cassi and I went on like this for about ten more minutes then decided we’d better catch the boys before they got too bored of looking at games.
We walked up to them and they both smiled.
“Hey girls! What’d you say we hit some ping pong?” Corie said proposing a challenge that neither Cassi nor myself could refuse.
“Hell yeah! We’re gonna dominate your asses!” Cassi said with confidence. Drake and I looked at each other and laughed silently.
After the guys had checked out their games we walked out to the cars and Cassie and I had already discussed that we were going to switch cars but they didn’t know that. As I opened Drake’s passenger door he looked confused but pleased that I was riding with him. Corie barely had let Cassie in before he peeled out of his parking spot to race to the house. I just caught a glimpse of Cassie’s laughing face before they were out of sight.
“Well that was a little unnecessary but, that gives us time alone.” I said looking over at Drake. He was looking at me sweetly. “What?” I asked.
“Nothing, just when you had your head turned like that, it reminded me of when you used to dance, you were always so elegant and beautiful. You put something in it the others didn’t.”
“Yeah, it’s called passion.” I said a little snippier than I meant to.
I had been in ballet since I could walk; it was my mothers dream to see me become a prima ballerina. When I was in eighth grade I started mixing with the wrong crew thinking that it would help me forget about mom, to be popular. I was using anything and everything that people handed me when I went to parties. I didn’t ask what it was or care what it was for that matter. I was a major screw up for two years. After the first year of my rampage the director of a ballet I was in cut me from the cast because someone caught me doing a few lines in the bathroom during practice one day. He said he couldn’t ruin his rep like that, told me I should clean up my act and that I was a good dancer, a good kid, I only needed some help. I didn’t want help, not then anyway. I kept on using and partying every night for the next year. Then I had that night with Drake and I promised myself I would never use again. That’s not how I wanted him to remember me as some high-drunk-ass-whore. It was really rough at first cause I never went to like rehab or anything like that so I relapsed every so often but I’ve been sober for a year now. Sometimes if I have a bad day I have the urge to do a line of coke or a hit of meth but those are the days I live for they make me stronger.
“I miss dancing so much.”
“Why don’t you go back?”
“I haven’t really felt like it, but I know I should. It was good for me.”
“Yeah, you were Rion back then.” Most people would take offence to that comment but I didn’t cause he was right. Back then I was a real bunhead the short-flat-chested-callous-footed-redheaded-ballerina bunhead. And that’s who I was and who I wanted to be.
I decided then I would go to sign up for a moderate level class to get back into the swing of things, and work myself back into shape.
“Will you help me with partner routines?”
“What…I…I don’t do ballet.”
“Oh…no, no you just have to lift me up and stuff so that I can work on my balance. I’ll teach you how to hold me right and how to move with me when I need you to. You know I could teach you to dance, it’d be fun.”
“No offense, but I don’t think it’s for me.”
“Oh come on it’s very fun, and I’ll know you’re not gay like half the other guys are, cause you’re my main ingredient.” He laughed at that one.
“Your main ingredient, should I be flattered or offended?”
“Flattered obviously.”
“Of course, I don’t think you could ever offend me.” I looked deep into those steel gray eyes and knew he was telling the truth. We were so close, I could feel his breath in my mouth, like I was breathing his breath, and he was giving me life. Then he kissed me, one of those slow really meaningful kisses. I kissed him back with a little more intensity; I wanted to make the most of this moment. He backed off though and started the car. I would forever remember that moment. The day I kissed Draco in his, too shiny, silver Volvo.