The Undiscovered Country

Update your blog . . .

Has it really been 18 days since I updated my blog? Wow, does time fly. I don't suppose that should be a surprise. All my days have mushed together; I have to look at the calendar on my computer to see what day it is.

First I want to share with you an email I received today. It perfectly describes how taking care of Thomas has changed me:

Prettiest Mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't
stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

I've accomplished a little more than watching my little guy grow (he's growing into his skin enough he no longer looks like a Sharpai). I don't have a scale, but I bet he's near 10 lbs now. He's also losing some of his birth hair, and it's now a medium brown instead of black. His eyes are more of a dark gray instead of a super-dark blue.

Can you tell I enjoy watching all the little changes?

He also smiles a great deal. Some would say it's not out of joy, and more likely gas. The conventional wisdom is babies don't smile out of happiness until the third month or so. If that's the case, then why does he smile almost without fail when he sees me or Dave, and when I play with his tongue? Even if it is gas, it's still an adorable smile, and I can't get enough of seeing it.

Sorry, I have yet to capture it in a picture - it's too fleeting. When I do, though, I'll post it.

Oh, back to what I've accomplished . . . Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

I finally sent off my proposal to Winsun Literary Agency. I don't expect to hear from him for at least two months. He normally takes about three - after I remind him. Considering it took me five months to send it off, I will not bug him for a while yet.

I've also been working a few hours a day at home. It's nearing our busy time, and there are a few things my bosses want only me to work on. Fine by me since my vacation is running out, and the money Aflac sent me for maternity leave will barely cover any expenses for the next two months.

But Thomas is waking up, which means he'll be hungry and likely needs a change.

Hope all is well with you.

Later!