My Journey With Attachment Disorder

Therapy Session

March 18, 2008

Last night’s session with Tony’s therapist was productive, for sure. First of all, she made him stand up for about half the session, while she asked him all about the weekend and his choices. She talked to Dad about how long it took him to decide that Tony did not need to be trusted out of our sight. She made Tony empty out his pockets, and instructed us that we should do that (discretely) as a routine thing from now until he has established himself as trustworthy. We addressed the Lads to Leaders Convention coming up, and the fact that James and Tony would be there without me. She gave strict instructions that Tony was to not be more than a foot away from James at all times, and that James was to routinely have him empty his pockets. We practiced how to do it in such a way, as to not even be noticed by anyone. She said that Tony should be within our eyesight all the time for now. She used the term “in a sitting place” writing or drawing, or homework, or chores, or whatever wherever we are. (Thankfully, I have read the Attachment book, and am familiar with that practice, and the reasoning behind it, so she didn’t have to explain it.) It just boils down to the fact that he is not to be trusted right now, and he needs our constant presence, much like a toddler would (although you don’t say that to him.) She really worked on him good about the choices he had made and where that kind of thinking would take him, unless he decides to change his thinking and make better choices. She also gave him lots of opportunity to express his anger toward her and us because of all the grounding and restrictions. He was very polite in his expressions of anger. I feel sure that he will eventually loosen up and show the real anger that we know all too well. She also told him that the Nintendo was “gone”. He asked, ‘For how long’? She said, “It’s gone. I want you to feel the pain of someone taking away something that belongs to you. It’s gone. Maybe after you have had time to show that you are finished with stealing, you might get it back. But if there is another incident of stealing (including sneaking things into the buggy without our knowledge) the Nintendo will be sold.”

She really role modeled authority for us (esp. James). She told Tony when he could sit down, and when he could get up. At the end we started to get up, and Tony got up, too. James said, “Who said you could get up? Sit down, young man.” (Wow!) Dr. Bell would have dropped his mouth open if he had heard James! The therapist really praised James for taking charge! That did more for James than anything you can imagine.




Warrior Mom

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