Despertar

waxing philosophic like there's no tomorrow

I have a new philosophy and a new game plan. And here it is. If other people want to wax retarded about how everything they do is well-intentioned and should therefore be rewarded, let them. From now on I'm not doing anything else I don't agree with in principle.

So saith I.

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1. What was the last thing you ordered from McDonald's?
I don't remember the last time I went to a McDonald's, but the only thing I ever order from there is the fish sandwich combo, so, probably that.

2. Do you own a canoe?
If I did, do you think I would be taking the subway to work?

3. What was the last button you pushed?
The question mark and shift keys, simultaneously.

4. Do you have or want any piercings?
Two in the right ear, four in the left, one in my belly button. The second and third in my left ear, unfortunately, are a little closer together than the other ones, just maybe a millimeter or two, which makes it hard to tell I'm wearing four distinct earrings, which was the whole point. So that's kind of annoying.

5. What do you think about people with tattoos?
I think, whatever. Some I like, some I don't. It bothers me that a lot of kids get theirs in really visible places before they're old enough to make mature decisions about what sort of professional appearance they might like to eventually cut. And then lose job opportunities strictly on the basis of appearance. It sucks, that employers still have those prejudices, but they do, and inking a dragon on your forearm simply because it is your right to do so probably isn't worth a lifetime of minimum wage.

6. What are your plans for college?
To go, spend four years and graduate. Check, check and check.

7. What color is the wall closest to you?
Presumably white, but unlike the three other walls in this room, it is papered with the most hideous green wallpaper I have ever seen. It's sort of a paisley print on top, then there's a band of white across the middle, and beneath that, bamboo stalks? What the hell?

8. Did you enjoy your last kiss?
No. It came from the wrong person.

9. Have you ever set foot in a tanning salon?
Here's how myopic I am, I thought it was an urban legend that they even still existed. I thought everyone knew the dangers of melanoma by now. Plus, I still can't figure out why white people want to be darker. That doesn't jive with the rest of my understanding.

10. Would you rather be a genie or a witch?
Phenomenal, cosmic power; itty bitty living space? No thanks. I'll take witch.

11. Have you ever played strip poker?
Once, I think, but I didn't have to take anything off, and watching boys strip is boring.

12. What's your mother's favorite color?
Blue, supposedly, but I see no evidence of that anywhere in her home or wardrobe. I think she thinks decorating in blue is too vanilla, because of a conversation she overheard between two Indian women once at Home Expo. All her jewelry is turquoise, though.

13. Fast food restaurant or Chinese takeout?
Always, always Chinese.

14. If you could move, would you?
I just did, and then I came out here before I even got to spend a full week in my apartment. And now I'm going back and it'll be another month, almost, before I get to start living there in earnest. So I don't want to move again. I'm going to give it its fair shot first.

15. Do you prefer hot tea or iced tea?
Meh to both. I'm not sure why some people are such huge tea addicts. It only ever tastes as good as whatever flavoring or sweeteners you add in.

16. What is your favorite musical?
The Lion King is one of the most magical things I have ever seen. But The Sound of Music, Sweeney Todd, Evita and The Phantom of the Opera also rank high.

17. Have you ever lied about your age?
Maybe when I was a teenager, so they would let me order off the kids' menu without paying full price.

18. When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?
They could have kept the charade going much longer than they did, but they were careless. My dad has awful, memorably childish handwriting, all capital letters, crooked serifs. We would bake cookies for Santa and leave them on a plate in front of the fireplace, and Santa would always leave a handwritten thank you note.

19. Who was your first crush?
Miss Hart, the teacher's aide in my kindergarten class.

20. What's the wildest thing you've done?
If I tell you, you'll snort, because it wasn't that bad, honestly. Anyway, I'm not telling.

21. Ever blacked out from drinking?
Not exactly. Once, though, I had sex with Justin after a drunken night out, and then fell asleep in his bed, and woke up the next morning to discover we'd done it twice, and couldn't remember anything about the second time, starting with the fact that it had happened at all. He swears I wasn't asleep, so I guess I blacked out. That would be the only time.

22. When is the last time you were on a bicycle?
Seven years ago?

23. How many numbers are in your phone book?
I think about two hundred.

24. Do blondes really have more fun?
My roommate dyes her hair blond religiously. As a result, it is thin, weak, stringy and dry, and she constantly complains about how unhealthy it is. However, being a (fake) blonde is supposedly "so much a part of [her] identity" that she "can't imagine" going back to her natural dark brown color. So you tell me.

25. Have you ever smoked tobacco out of a hookah?
No.

26. Who do you hate the most?
Assholes in general. All of them, especially the ones in power.

27. Have you ever donated to charity?
Yes.

28. Ever used a fake ID or an ID that wasn't you?
My coming-of-age took place in urban Atlanta, where a fake ID was totally extraneous no matter where you wanted to go. And I didn't really drink then, anyway. By the time I got comfortable with alcohol, my real ID worked fine.

29. Are you donating your organs?
Yeah, against all my dad's distrustful warnings. According to him, the racism in this country is so pervasive that, if I'm ever in an accident, some ER doctor who already resents having to save my life will use my organ status to justify letting me die on the table. My dad actually interceded when I initially got my license, telling the clerk to switch me before he printed it. When I turned eighteen, I got it renewed and switched it back, because for that very reason, there aren't enough minority organ donors, and all too often people of color die on the waiting list.

30. What is by far your favorite moment of life?
My favorite moment of the last week was something Justin asked me on the phone circa Thursday, just the feeling I got from it, that delight I don't get from anything else. I stayed awake for two hours later than my usual bedtime that night, drinking daiquiris, delaying the end of that feeling.

31. Who is the prettiest person you know?
Personally? I guess my mom, who looks beautiful at her best.

32. What's the last thing you drank?
Orange juice!

33. Ever been on ecstasy?
No!

34. What hurts the most?
Pain!

35. Who called you last?
Tina!