The Undiscovered Country

Slightly Out of Tune

Okay, I went to your link...the homepage was okay...so I clicked on About Me...that's when I freaked.

"I am nothing special: ...." OMG how can you say something like that in your opening line? Who are you to decide if you are special? I mean, you are one of God's children, and a mother and a talented writer...that alone would make you special. You cannot start off your page with such negativity. You must blow your own horn....

I couldn't even get past that before coming here to tell you. How are you going to sell your books if you cannot sell yourself?

Love,
Sheila

That email is what caused me to remove the [About Me] page. She was absolutely correct.

As most of you are aware (and to your frustration), I tend to tear myself down.

I could chalk it up to people pointing out all my horrible faults growing up (real or imagined, it didn't matter). I then, as a defense mechanism, pointed them out myself before anyone else has a chance.

But I'm 39 now, and know better. I'm not the terrible person I used to think I was. There's no reason I need to defend my ego in that manner still.

My original thinking with adding "I'm nothing special . . ." was to indicate humility or modesty.

Nada inferred otherwise, and rightly so.

There is a difference between humility and self-flagellation. The statement implied self-flagellation.

When selling myself or my writing, I must show confidence. If I am not confident in my abilities - in writing or otherwise - how can I expect people to gain confidence in me?

How do I do that without appearing arrogant?

Easy. Through my actions. Can I back up my claims? Anyone who peruses my website will discover right away whether or not I can.

Funny. As a land surveyor, I am confident in my abilities, and am not afraid to exude that confidence. Why, as a writer, do I find doing the same so difficult?

Part of it is because I don't pour my heart and soul into it. When someone points out a mistake with my work, I don't take it personal. I merely made a mistake. I fix it, and hopefully learn from it so I don't do it again.

It's also due to land surveying being concrete. It's based on mathematics, so I can prove quite easily whether or not my product is sound.

Writing is more subjective. I succeed or fail (to an extent) based on the opinions of others.

I need to remember - as Nada pointed out – to believe without a doubt that I produce quality work, just like I do with surveying. If I'm excited about my product (and most of the time I am), it will spill over to anyone who checks out my website. They'll want to not only read more, but spend money in order to do it.