Second Helpings

A True Horror Story

I've been trying to help an old college friend through a very difficult trauma over the past week. She lives a fair distance from me so all I can do is phone, listen and offer sympathy. This has to be one of the most horrific real life stories I've ever witnessed and if you're of a squeamish nature, then I suggest you don't read on.

My friend is split from her husband but has two daughters, one of whom has two small children of her own. Her partner's parents are also split and his father was recently diagnosed with throat cancer. He's been a strong, healthy man all his life and despite reassurance the cancer could be cured without surgery he slipped into a deep depression, convinced he'd need a trachiotomy or be dead by the end of the year.

The family have tried to help lift his spirits but it seemed nothing was helping. A couple of weeks ago, the son arrived at his father's house to find him totally wasted after drinking a whole litre of whisky. There was a noose attached to the staircase and a tipped over chair indicating an attempt had been made to commit suicide.

The son took his father to hospital, but because he was obviously under the influence of alcohol, they refused to treat him or take his suicidal condition seriously. They released him and sent him home. No account was taken into consideration that this man was seriously depressed from his cancer diagnosis or any mention of psychiatric help offered.

Two days later, the son was on his way to meet his dad, but when he arrived at the agreed meeting place, his father wasn't there. He called his dad's mobile phone and his father confessed he wasn't where he said he would be and wasn't going to meet him. The son then heard a gunshot and after phoning the mobile managed to locate his father, who had shot himself in the throat. Being in a remote spot, it took forty minutes for the emergency services to reach them.

Fast forward. The father now lies in a hospital bed linked to tubes and respirators. He has no jaw, no nose, one of his eyes is damaged and he cannot eat, drink or speak. The trachiotomy he feared has taken place, as have several more operations to help rebuild his face. He has also suffered a heart attack, but being a strong man, has survived it all.

He is on heroin for the pain and has been kept heavily sedated, but has expressed through writing he would still prefer to die. Whether he is aware of the damage he has done to himself I'm not sure but there is no way he would ever have any quality of life if he survives.

The hospital have sectioned him and put him on antidepressants. If that had happened after the first failed attempt, it might have been a worthwhile option, but now it seems futile. By law in this country, he has to be kept alive, despite his own wish to die and the obvious problems he would have should he ever be released from hospital.

His family are distraught. Not only have they had to cope with his depression, his suicide attempts and the horror of his actions, but they are now left in limbo wondering what can be done. They never wanted to lose him but who could cope with a deformed and very depressed relative who has no will to live?

Why aren't those first cries for help answered? Why does someone have to reach a point of no return before anyone takes them seriously? And why is there this pointless continuation of life for someone who doesn't want it or have a chance to make any kind of recovery?

Euthanasia. Are you for it or against it?