Can we talk?

Eldercare

    If you know an elderly person or have one in your family, you may have become aware of how difficult it is to get information or obtain help. here are so many areas that need to be addressed, depending of the individual you're dealing with, like health, personal care, nutrition, medical care and follow-up, safety, when to give up driving, getting rides, errands and shopping for the travel limited, finances, etc.
    I've tried to help several people figure out their medical bills and prescription costs, and I'm totally confused. Medicare requires an expert; and there is no college course in medicare or medicare prescriptions. Then there's Tricare (military) and supplemental insurance. One person I work with is paying $3 or $9 per drug, and another is paying $80 or more, but is paying more in premiums. I don't get it.
    None of the ones I know want to make any changes like go to assisted living before it's too late, and none wants anyone else making their decisions or giving them advice. Some of them are willing to discuss their future options and state a preference. Some panic and get angry if you bring up the subject.
    Information is not easily available on transportation for the infirm who may live alone, or getting light housekeeping assistance (for safety and sanitation more than appearances), or personal assistance for bathing or shaving or grooming. How to arrange financing for home care or assisted living or nursing homes is a scary mystery to most people. Some elderly people are scrimping and saving, afraid to touch their nest egg, not buying new clothes or new shoes as needed. But that little nest egg will disqualify them from getting any assistance.
    And most families are not prepared to deal with the changes in personality and mental abilities in their elderly one. Many families have never been nurturing, so they aren't capable of giving complete care to someone who is declining in mind or body or both. You have to start going to the doctor with them, not just to give a ride, but into the examining room, too, so that you can be sure of what exchanges between doctor and patient. Sometimes they give out wrong info to the doctor, or get confused by what the doctor says.
    And then there's the fear factor. They panic about what is going to become of them: Will they be locked up? Forgotten? Visited? Mistreated? Go hungry? Lose everything? Get sick? I have found that those who have been active in church generally have a brighter outlook and more hope; though that may not always be the case, depending on how an illness or medication may affect them. Those who have always been complainers, worriers, or just self-centered don't get better; they just worry more.
    There aren't too many classes around that teach us how to prepare for old age. There are no classes that teach us how to take care of an older person in our home, or who lives nearby. No one is offering to teach the general public about helping your parents or friends with medicare or insurance or hospital bills. There is the occasional seminar that's really in the cause of marketing on selecting a home for assisted living, a particular home. (And there are so many different types of assisted living.)
    AARP's safe driving courses address knowing when to quit driving. But how does a person accept that he or she can't live alone any more in their life long home, or depend on the help of a grown child? How does an adult know when it's time to put Grandma or Mom in a home, whether she wants it or not? And how can Grandma be sure she's not going to be vulnerable to a greedy son or grandson who wants her money or property?
    With so many elderly living now, and so many boomers about to join them, won't someone answer the call to give seminars, write articles and books, make videos and TV shows addressing these issues? These are much needed topics, for a large senior population in a bad economy.