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Weddings

    I, like most adults, have attended many weddings and given many gifts. Being female, I've put a lot of thought into these rituals, and have paid more attention to details than the average man. I've also listened to brides or their parents at work talking about arrangements and expenses, etc. My best friend through college was a pianist, and she has played for thousands of weddings over the years and has made many comparisons and talked about the rules. So I feel like I know a little bit about them.
    Now I suddenly find myself in this age where the young people just use weddings as an excuse for a really big, expensive party. The ceremony doesn't matter; tradition doesn't matter; the dresses, the flowers, matching shoes, yada, yada don't matter but a little (for the pictures you know). Food and music and booze matter. 
    While churches are still booking weddings, a lot more ceremonies are taking place outside or at the reception hall. Instead of rows of chairs, the guests sit at the dinner table where they'll be eating. There's no need for ushers to seat anyone.
    Make it as outlandish as possible. Don't use a regular minister to perform the ceremony; get some spiritual mumbo-jumbo- spouting person, a woman if possible. Or if not that, get someone from a different race; that will knock people's socks off. By all means, make your wedding the most memorable one so far. There must be a competition, right? If you don't have a bottomless wallet to make it bigger and better than everyone else's, just make it wilder.
    Most etiquette books will tell you that you are free to make modifications to suit your tastes, that the rules are only guidelines to carry you smoothly through the event, People will know what to expect, and you mark the occasion with respect for the momentous life-changing event that it is. Etiguette suggests we honor tradition and culture; our little traditions connect us to the past while moving into the future. It is not intended to be restrictive or diminishing as some might think.
    To my old-fashioned eyes, a wedding is the union of two people in the eyes of the law, of the public, and of God. It is a solemn and reassuring occasion, in which all of us celebrate the sanctity of marriage,  followed by a party. While the bride and groom are free to express themselves within decorum, a wedding should not be a mockery of the institution or of tradition. I applaud the young ladies and their parents who continue traditional weddings with subtle modern modifications as needed and keep the reception separate.