Can we talk?

TV Guide Channel Special

        You're acquainted with those filler shows that help lower the network budgets, the ones that count down something or other. Like the 100 best all-time love songs, the 100 best movies, the top 50 best TV scenes, top 50 most romantic movies, and so forth.

      Today, I didn't mean to sit and watch TV; I had things to do. But I found myself glued to the set for an hour watching Prime Time TV's top 25 sexiest women. Yes, I actually watched a show like that. My apologies to intelligent women everywhere. But, I did wonder why they weren't announcing the showing of the top 25 men. So I worked on both lists.

      Of course, I never fully agree with those shows. On this particular list, near the bottom was Elizabeth Montgomery. I hadn't thought of her, but it seemed reasonable. I was disappointed that Barbara Feldon, Lindsay Wagner, and Angie Dickinson didn't make the list. I was surprised that Vanna White, Morgan Fairchild, and young Christina Applegate weren't mentioned. Or for that matter, the woman who played Peg Bundy in those tight clothes and high heels who wiggled when she walked in those tall shoes. And what about Elvira? Oh, I guess she didn't have a regular series.And there was Valerie Bertinalli--guys were crazy about Valerie. And I've heard guys going on about teenage Patty Duke: they couldn't decide whether they wanted Patty or Kathy. None of these even had a favorale mention. (Marianne of Gilligan fame got a casual mention in the Tina Louise slot). And no mention of Linda Evans, even in her younger days, or Joan Collins. A lot of these were too "mature" I guess. And what about Victoria Principal?

      I agreed about Tina Louise, Barbara Eden, Loni Anderson, Farah Fawcett (#1--well remember all the hype about her, the hair, THE poster, the shampoo, etc.), Jennifer Anniston, Charlies' other angels, Suzanne Summers, the Star Trek lieutenant, Dianna Rigg, Heather Locklear, Katherine Bach, Linda Carter, Susan Dey, and Eva whatever her last name is.

      A lot who did make the list I have never seen or heard of. I never ever watched a single episode of Melrose Place, and the whole female cast was included. Pamela Anderson, I knew, would make the list. But only when she was new on the scene. And they did specify on Baywatch. She was very popular with Playboy followers, but she's wearing much heavier make-up now and has developed such a potty mouth, so she's become just nasty. She reminds me of Mae West: the young Mae was sexy and funny and amusing. She acted sexy more than she looked it, but men seemed to like her looks enough. Even with the extra flesh, she was sensual. As she got older, she just got bawdy and gross, with too much make-up and blatant sex talk. She couldn't even act cute or funny any more.

      Now if they do fair turn-around, they need the show on men. I'd like to nominate a list, not just my personal favorites, but ones that I think other women want, too.

      Let's start with Tom Selleck, a safe bet. Then Mark Harmon, the young Mark Harmon, not CSI. And Bruce Willis in Moonlighting--who knew he'd make it big in movies, too? Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Bill Bixby in everything, Victor Williams who played Deacon on King of Queens; Tim Daley, Steven Weber, Thomas Haden Church, all on  Wings; both Dukes of Hazard Tom Wopat and John Schneider; Jeff conaway on Taxi; Tony Danza on everything; Michael Glasser and David Soul of Starsky and Hutch (say what you will about the reruns, at that time in history, they were hot); Dr. McDreamy (it's those sleepy eyes of his); Mike Connors as Mannix; Scott Baio (for the generation after mine); David Cassidy; Ted Danson on Cheers; Robert Urich on anything; Keith Carradine (even though his show was a flop)- the older Keith with the thinning hair. And let's not overlook James Garner as the young TV Maverick, or Clint Eastwood as Rowdy Yates. And Jimmy Smits and Corbin Bernsen.

      As far as I know, the masses didn't drool over Mike Farrell as BJ Honeycutt, but I liked him. He was tall and smart and funny. And I had a crush on Edward Woodward as The Equalizer and Scott Bakula as the  Quantum Leap guy. Ok, I can't choose just 25. Maybe it would have to be the top 30

      Now if they included evening hews with Prime Time, they'd probably add Katie Couric to the women's list. They'd have to add Stone Phillips and Tom Brokaw to the men's list. Being smart is a terribly sexy thing to add to good looks.