Second Helpings

We Plough the Fields and Scatter...

With apologies to anyone who isn't farming on Facebook and hasn't a clue what I'm talking about, but I am starting to think I've totally lost the plot anyway.

I can't remember how I acquired a farm on there. It's a site I'd only pop into occasionally, make an odd comment, send a few hugs, hearts, drinks, eggs, farkle chips or whatever was the trend at the time, but then suddenly along came Farmtown.

Within days I was receiving copious amounts of trees, flowers and animals from friends and became quite engrossed in arranging and rearranging them, as well as planting seeds, harvesting and going to market to sell my wares. I've never quite figured out what to do with all the animals, apart from allow them to wander, sit, stand, twitch, waggle, bleat, gobble or sleep. I didn't like to click on the option to eat, as I wasn't sure if it meant the animal would eat or I'd eat the animal. Not something I want on my conscience before I go to bed. Sadly, my pens became so overcrowded I had to sell some animals before they trampled each other to death, but still don't really know what purpose they serve.

The trees and crops however are constantly earning gold coins and allowing me to progress as a farmer. Of all the career choices I've ever considered, agriculture wasn't one of them and I'm left wondering why, at my age and with little time to spare, I'm finding myself spending more and more time working with virtual Mother Nature.

I don't stay in the marketplace for long as I'm still a beginner and rather shy of all the unknown avatars hanging around in there begging for work. I do help out other farmers when asked however and sometimes find a stranger lurking around my own farm. I'm never quite sure whether I should approach them or not. A shame the pub isn't functioning yet as I'm sure I'd be tempted to spend time in there and may feel more confident after a few beers.

I gasp at the sheer size and magnitude of other farmer's plots; my own is a mere field by comparison, but I believe I have to reach a certain level before I can purchase more land. In the meantime I find myself with trees and flowers up to my armpits and so cramped together I can barely manage to harvest them. Obviously, I haven't got round to reading the rules or acquired the knowledge of how to be a truly efficient farmer.

So, what do I do when I find myself short of time, overwhelmed by fruit trees, animals and flowers? I go and accept an invitation to join Farmville and find myself running two farms instead of just one. Late night drinking and curiosity have a lot to answer for. Now, when I've finally finished receiving and sending Farmtown gifts, watering the plants, rushing to market and planting new seeds, I then have to dash over to the other farm and start the procedure all over again. Who needs sleep anyway?

I was quite horrified at first by the differences in Farmville, but in some ways it's easier. When I clicked on my animals and was informed 'The cow is ready,' my heart dropped to my boots at the thought of taking it to be butchered. Thankfully, all animal practices on Farmville are environmentally friendly and no lives are lost in the process. But collecting milk, truffles, feathers, eggs and angora takes up another great chunk of time, as well as all the additional harvesting.

My avatar on Farmville seems to be in no hurry and dawdles across the field merrily whistling before she's prepared to do any work. Sometimes she turns up with no hair and half naked, so I'm not sure what she gets up to when I'm not around. She'll never harvest any lemons or peaches either, as every time I attempt to do so, the game goes out of sync and has to reload.

I've even found myself in farming mode when I go out. Every time I see flowers in someone's garden I feel the urge to water them and I get an uncomfortable feeling when I see trees laden with fruit and berries. The desire to harvest them and add coins to my collection is difficult to keep at bay. I'm just grateful there are no farm animals in close proximity or goodness knows what I'd be tempted to do with them.

I thought maybe now Blogville is quieter, with less to read and comment on, I might actually get around to some writing or other useful occupation. But old habits die hard and it seems I'm destined to live in a fantasy world for the rest of my days. I think computers, websites and internet social networks should all carry health warnings.

I'm already starting to worry about my farms when I'm out all day tomorrow and may not find time to tend them. And what happens when we go away for a week in September? I have no desire to return to fields of shrivelled crops and plants or have to deal with the carcasses of neglected animals.

I need help and yes, in more ways than one. Do you ever wonder how your life would have panned out without the invention of computers? That's a topic worth writing about if only I could find the time between farms.