Poisoned Purple Pen

Craziness

I don't even know where to begin. Life is crazy. Sometimes people see one thing, and then find that what they saw pales in comparrison to what actually is going on. I thought I had it bad with the attitude my kids have towards school. The senior who feels superior and thinks that he has everything covered. Then there's the freshman who coasted through middle school with straight A's, who feels high school will be no different, and since he hates school, he won't have to do anything extra for the next four years. If I hadn't told them both to grab a backpack, paper, folder, pencil, notebook, they would have left here empty handed. It's enough to make me wanna yank my hair out. I could barely look at the two of them last night after dinner since the comments about school were all negative and pissed me right off.

But I found out that I'm lucky. Yes, that's right, I said lucky. Because this is nothing compared to what someone I love is going through. I could barely sleep after hearing what went on with this person. Having your child speak to you with no respect, in such a degrading way, and then having a physical altercation on top of it makes me sick to my stomach. I hardly slept. I'm a worrier. It's what I do. Life can be a nightmare. But I want to help. I have this strong urge to want to jump in and come to the rescue, as if I somehow have the magic touch. I know I don't. Damage has been done, for years. Getting out of negative patterns is no easy task. All I can do is be here, and try to lighten the burdon, support her, and hope for the best. Gawd that might prove too difficult for someone like me.

I'm exhausted. Two nights of only a few hours of sleep. Tried to nap several times yesterday, but was rudely woken by the damn telephone. UGH. I swear when I get home today and intend to crash, and I do intend to crash, if that phone even rings once, I will rip them all out of the wall.

I need to get ready for class. That ought to be interesting. The old lady in the back who can barely keep her eyes open while the professor is talking. Go me.