Can we talk?

The Wearing of The Green

  Right away, let's clear up this garbage about leprechauns pinching people who don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day. Not true. Nor are they blind, or can't see through green or any of those falsehoods being spread about. Leprechauns are shy folk. They don't come into the cities, and they can't stand crowds. I dare say you'll never find them in a high-rise apartment building or business complex, And never will you find them in schools! Teachers, you know. Teachers tell the little ones not to believe in leprechauns, and that hurts their feelings. No, the leprechauns reside in rural areas, especially the mountains, but even there they're not interested in pinching people. That's a lie started by dirty old men who wanted to pinch the pretty young girls.

    So don't let anyone else use that as an excuse to pinch you, if you're not wearing green. Tell them the leprechauns will seek revenge for telling lies. While we're discussing the wee folk, we should set the record straight about leprechauns wearing green. They don't all do that. It depends entirely on the county where they live. Many wear red. And the hats will also vary, despite the American image of a Pilgrim type hat. In some counties, they wear tall pointy hats; in others, they wear a rounded derby. And they don't have pots of gold. That's a drunk's tale. But they will steal your gold, spill the milk, throw sparks from the fireplace onto your new rug, and eat the pies you've put out to cool. Some Irishmen try to appease them by putting out the occasional plate of food, sort of like cookies for Santa. But some foolish people put out scraps like for the dogs, and this really irritates them and causes much mishap.

      The wearing of the green is more of a political statement originally. In the late 1800's, South Ireland was rebelling against British rule and the Anglican Church. The Irish Rebellion took place in 1898. Because of the potato famine, oppression, the quest for religious liberty, and adventure, many Irish had settled in Canada, the U.S., New Zealand, Australia, and Argentina. Wearing of the green showed unity and loyalty to the homeland, the Emerald Isle. During the Rebellion, many sympathizers wearing green in Ireland were executed. Humans universally hate oppression. Tell them they can't do something, then they must do it. So wearing green grew in popularity and increased national pride.

    One last note before you go to an Irish pub to remember the great man St. Patrick ( the legend is actually a combination of two great men): Beware the cry of the wild banshee! It can be a mournful, sad warning, or a shriek of maddening terror depending on the banshee. The banshee is always a female, the spirit of a departed one that can't leave yet its earthly home. The banshee's cry is always a warning of death. If it's a good banshee, her cry will be sad and sweet, like for one that will die too young. If the banshee is evil, after death as well as before, her cry will a terrible cackle as though she is happy and excited that someone is about to die. The banshee usually warns only her own relatives and in-laws. Her cries are best heard by one who's been imbibing, but who is not totally drunk.