Second Helpings

Colour Blind

I spent a rare day at home today with no visitors or pressing duties towards others. Having given up the Friday bog cleaning habit has left me with a feeling of freedom to spend time on other things. In my case that generally means flitting from one thing to another, being constantly distracted by trivia and failing to achieve anything constructive.

However, having some very flamboyant and elaborate occasions planned for the near future, I thought I'd set about organising my goodies and sorting things out into different boxes and bags. You know how much I love wasting time organising and sorting.

I took all the stuff into one room and emptied the contents onto the floor. It looked like a scene from the dressing rooms of Joseph and his amazing technicolour dreamcoat. But two hours later I had a place for everything and everything in its place. First a box of PANK stuffage ready for my walk in aid of raising funds for breast cancer next Saturday.

Next a box of flourescent clothing, jewellery, cosmetics, shoes and accessories for my burpday day out with my gals. The neon table decorations, partyware, goody bags, sweets, flashing luminous ducks and other silly items for our buffet back here afterwards filled another box.

Lastly I filled a box full of pank, purple and silver decorations, balloons, banners, flags, ribbons and sprinkles for my BIG burpday evening party the following day. This is looking to be quite the occasion with the possibilty of all five of my English cousins who I haven't seen in years being present. I only hope and pray I make it to the big day.

I am not at all thrilled to be turning sixty next month, but can't help feeling in awe at the miracle I made it this far. The thought of being an official pensioner makes me shudder, but there's nothing any of us can do to stop the passage of time and so must accept we will all inevitably reach this stage, God willing. If anyone does actually know of a way of making time stand still, then please let me know, ASAP and you will be fittingly rewarded. Turning back time would mean extra gift points all round.

After all my sorting activities I gave in to the gruesome task of phoning the Pensions department to claim my state pension. Oh, the shame and embarrassment of it all. After a twenty minute interview of questions regarding facts, figures, dates, work details and other far too serious and mundane topics, my question master asked if I minded declaring my ethnicity. After the day I'd had I was torn between answering shocking pink, lime green or metallic purple.

Growing old isn't an option. Growing up is.