"Her"

Running

Why don't you ask her out? It's been a long time since the two of you did anything together.

"That wouldn't...I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of being rejected, you know? Every time I suggest that we do something, she blows me off. I think it would be better if we just-"

Remained friends? Really? Friends who happen to share the same bed and kiss every time they-

"Okay! Okay! I get your point!" I hold my head out of aggravation. I've already had a nightmare, and I don't feel like discussing my friend at five o'clock in the am.

I don't understand this, Angel Gauze. You wanted a new job, you got it. You got your hair done(partly because of the girl you want, I might add), and you got it done. Now you want to be with this young lady, and you're allowing her to walk all over you. Explain that to me.

"I'm afraid that I'll lose her as...whatever she is to me right now."

She sighs and holds me close. This situation could have been resolved months ago, if you hadn't run in the first place.

"I wasn't running. I didn't think she liked me."

And wha't's changed now?

"I don't know if she likes me in the way that I want her to. Hell, I don't even know if I like her so much anymore."

Because of all the changes you're going through?

I nod. "The weight loss, the new place, the new everything. I don't even know if I'll be the same person six months from now-"

She holds up her hands for peace. Are you prepared to stop?

"Stop what?"

Stop climbing. I did warn you that a year like this would be full of it's own challenges. This is only another mountain to climb.

"But how do I-"

You know what to do. You've got the ability to get anything you want, and you've got the car, the apartment, and the job as proof of that. Why do you always assume you have nothing to offer anyone when you really do?

"Force of habit I guess. I still haven't grown out of that kid who everyone used to pick on."

You will. But it takes time. And it takes practice. You have stop running away from being hurt. A climb progresses throught slow and steady movement. I don't expect you to reach every single goal you've made for yourself in a few months. But I know you can do what you can do. And one of the things you can do is ask her out again.