Outrunning Shadows

Chapter 18: The Old Coots Are In Cahoots

Chapter 18 – The Old Coots Are in Cahoots





Monday morning dawned hot and muggy. There wasn’t a hint of a breeze as Andrew walked across the lawn to his Pathfinder parked on the gravel. Engrid was dressed and sitting on her front porch reading the paper. Andrew walked out and picked his paper up off the grass and took it to the car. He drove away as Engrid was coming down the steps to ask how he was doing. She stood watching his car disappear over the hill. This was one time an answer eluded Engrid. Even if the plan was completely wacky with no chance of actual success, she always had a plan of some sort. This time, she didn’t. She had no idea what advice to give or what to do. She was just as confused as anyone. The whole idea of what Andrew and Evan and now Grant were up against was foreign territory for her. The whole idea of gay people and dating and all that was so new to her, she didn’t understand how it all was supposed to work. She knew there were things that should and shouldn’t be done, but she didn’t know what they were. She had no clue what the social protocols for gay dating are.


That evening, after eating supper, Engrid was in her kitchen making some congealed salad for dinner the next evening. It was something cold to end a hot day. Dora came to her door. They went back into the kitchen. Dora started washing the dishes in the sink while Engrid made her salad.


“You don’t have to do that.” Engrid said.


“I know,” Dora said, scrubbing a pot, “but I’ve got to do something.”


Engrid was quiet for a few minutes as she stirred in little bits of fruit.


“What’s on your mind?” Dora asked, noticing the silence.


“I’m worried.”


“About what?”


“Evan. I guess I’ve always worried about him, it’s just that I don’t think he’s handling what happened with his mother very well.”


“How’s he handling it?”


“He isn’t, Dora, that’s the problem. He’s just ignoring it just like he always does. Every time something comes up, Evan thinks that if he ignores it long enough, it’ll go away and I’ve tried to convince him time and again that that’s just not how the world works. But I can’t seem to get through to that boy.”


“But the business with his mother just happened yesterday. It’s gonna take them both time. It may even take years.”


“We don’t have years,” Engrid insisted.


“We don’t, but they do. Myrtle’s only 58, Evan’s 27, they’ve got tons of time.”


“No they don’t. Grant’s here. I spent a good bit of time with Grant when I was in New York. Grant’s gonna get Evan to move back up north again. This whole business with him moving down here is just to win Evan’s trust. If we don’t get Evan and Andrew back together, we’ll lose Evan just as sure as I’m standing here. Only this time, with his hard feelings toward Myrtle, we’ll have lost him for good.”


“But how do we get them together? Do gay relationships play by the same rules as we do?” Dora asked.


“From what I saw in New York, gay relationships must be a lot different. Their lives aren’t like ours at all.”


“You weren’t there that long, Engrid, I doubt you’re an authority on gay relationships,” Dora reminded her.


“I’m no expert, but they seemed to see what they did as nothing out of the ordinary. It was like that’s what they always do.”


“From the letter’s I’ve gotten from Morgan, their lives don’t seem all that different. They go to work, cook food, and clean the house, go to sleep at night, just like the rest of us do.”


“I wonder if we could figure out how they worked, maybe we could help them. I don’t want to be the blind leading the blind and end up making matters worse.”


“I tried searching on the internet at the library on Thursday. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was some decent stuff, but most of it was absolutely disgusting. I was appalled.” Dora said, shivering a little and the thought of what she’d found on the internet. “It was so much, you know, sex and stuff.”


“There’s bound to be a book or something on it, surely.”


“Where would we find one? I can tell you there’s nothing like that in our library.”


“Maybe there should be,” Engrid said.


“Be that as it may, there’s nothing there. I looked before I did my internet search. I made double sure I didn’t get caught. I’d die of embarrassment.”


The two old ladies sat in silence pondering this latest obstacle.


“Maybe there’s a bookstore somewhere that sells these kinds of books that could help?” Engrid offered, “They must have them somewhere.”


“How would we find one? I don’t imagine that ‘gay bookstores’ would be in the yellow pages, Engrid.”


“There’s bound to be one, somewhere. In Columbia or Charleston. We could ask someone.”


“You mean information? What if they think that we’re the gay people.”


“Us? Gay? There’s no such thing as gay people our age.” Engrid said, chuckling.


“After what I’ve been through this last month, I’m not likely to say there’s no such thing as anything,” Dora waved her hand dismissively.


“I guess that’s true. I just don’t want to be the one to ask. It just seems wrong.”


“We’re just trying to help out our friends. Whatever else they may be, Andrew and Evan are our friends and they need our help.” Dora stated.


“Should we go tomorrow?”


“I’ll call the library in the morning and tell them I won’t be there.”





         *                    *                    *


Andrew got to work that Monday morning and plopped down at his desk and switched on his computer. Amanda stood across the room. All three knew something had happened. The three approached his desk and stood in a semi-circle.


“So,” Betty asked, “He dumped you. Evan dumped you, right?”


Andrew just nodded his head.


“I’m so, sorry,” Amanda consoled, “Are you going to be okay?”


“I’ll be fine. I’m just mad, that’s all. His old boyfriend from New York moved here and stole him back.”


“That’s no bueno.” Darcy said.


“No, it isn’t. I want to steal him back, but I have no idea how.”


“Does his ex-current boyfriend have a job?”


“I don’t know. His name is Grant.”


“I think he works for South Trust Bank. I was just there Friday.” Betty said, “I was depositing Worth’s paycheck. I think he works in the lending department. He was quite cute, if I do say so myself. If it’s who I’m thinking of.”


“You’re not helping,” Darcy said flatly. “Is there anything we can do?”


“I guess not. Grant won, so Evan’s gone and I just have to get over it.”


“The hell you say,” Betty said, “If you love him, fight for him! If someone tried to steal Worth from me, I’d kick the shit out of ‘em. I’d use these heels for something besides tripping.”


Andrew and the others couldn’t help but smile.


“I would fight if I knew how.”


“Try graveling.” Darcy said. “It works on me.”


“I’m not graveling,” Andrew said, “I want to be classier that that, do you know what I mean?”


“Yeah. Buy him something.”


“Y’all should know Evan well enough to know he’d never fall for that.”


“True. But there has to be something you can do?”


“Could you get him alone and just try to talk it out with him?” Darcy asked. “I mean heaven forbid you should communicate or something.”


“I could try, I guess. But I can’t get him to talk on the phone. He sees it’s me and doesn’t answer.”


“Use my cell phone.” Darcy said, “Call him on this. It won’t be in his phonebook so he won’t know who it is until he answers.” She drew her cellular telephone out of her pocketbook and handed it to him.


“I’ll do it later, it’s still early.”


“You could go over to the cleaners. You could probably find him there.”


“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”


“You’re probably right; you won’t want his mother to suspect anything.”


“I’ll call him at the end of the day,” Andrew said handing the phone back, “Besides his mother knows about us.”


“Seriously? What’d she say?” Betty asked, wide eyed.


At the end of the day, Andrew stepped outside on the street to make the call he’d been dreading all day. He was afraid that Evan would tell Grant and that Grant would hold true to his promises. He dialed the number from memory and listened as it rang. Evan’s voice came on the line.


“Hello? Evan? This is Andrew, please don’t hang up.”


“What’s the matter?” Evan asked, a trace of concern in his voice.


“I want to talk to you. Is there some time I could talk to you?”


“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”


“After all the time we spent together, don’t you think I at least deserve an explanation?”


“You knew how I felt about Grant before he ever came back. I don’t know why this is such a surprise for you, Andrew.”


“It’s just that I love you and I don’t want you to go away. I at least want us to be friends, that’s all.”


“Grant said that you’d try to win me back. That’s why he said it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to talk to you. He and I talked last night and I’m considering moving back to New York with him.”


“Don’t do it, please don’t move to New York.” He was careful not to say Evan’s name just in case he was being overheard by passersby.


“It sounds like a good idea to me. I don’t think he and I could ever be happy here, Andrew. I think it would be a good thing.”


“I think you’d be miserable there.”


“No, I wouldn’t. I’d love it there. I’d have other gay friends besides just Grant.”


That stung Andrew, “So, I’m not a friend?”


“I don’t know what you are right now. If I was with you, you’d be my only gay friend. If I moved back up north, I’d be able to have lots of gay friends. I’m lonely here, Andrew, I don’t want to be lonely anymore.”


“Maybe you could just move to Columbia. There’s gay people there. We saw a lot of them at Sweet Pea’s.”


“I know too many people around here. I’d be spotted and I’d get found out by the people back here.”


“Is that such a terrible fate?”


“Yes. For me it is. I know you don’t care, but I do.”


“Did Grant tell you all that stuff, about having lots of friends and being lonely? You didn’t seem lonely when you and I were together.”


“Would you just drop it?” Evan hung up the phone. Andrew sat in stunned silence, realizing the anger with which Evan had just dismissed him. He went back in the office and returned the phone to Darcy. She was sorry that the plan hadn’t worked. Andrew had meant to tell Evan not to tell Grant they’d talked, but he’d gotten hung up on. Andrew stared at the pavement all the way across the parking lot back to his car.


He drove home and parked in his driveway, per usual. Engrid was clipping a boxwood shrub at the corner of her house. She watched Andrew get out of his car. He came over to her.


“Can we talk?” He asked. He was a nervous wreck, but was trying to mask it and was succeeding remarkably well.


“Sure.” She ushered him toward the porch with her hedge clippers. He walked past her to the steps. He sat down and she sat next to him. She was getting increasingly suspicious that something bad had happened. As they were sitting there, Dora came out of her house and spotted them. She got in her car and drove away. Andrew was surprised that she didn’t come over. Then he decided that she and Engrid would talk later and Engrid would give a full account of what they talked about.


“What’s the matter?”


Andrew debated telling her about his encounter with Grant last night, but he feared that she would overreact, call the police and things would get way out of hand. He decided instead to take a slightly different approach to the situation.


“I don’t think I should pursue Evan anymore.”


“Why not? I think you should. I really think the two of you really have something special and I’d hate to see you throw that away because of a little competition.”


“Evan wouldn’t be happy here. He would be happier moving back to New York with Grant.”


“Who said anything about them moving to New York? I thought Grant was going to move here?”


“Um, uh…” Andrew was flustered. Two sentences in and he’d already slipped up.


“How long do you think that’s going to last?” Andrew asked, trying to recover. It was too late; Engrid already sensed that Andrew knew more than he was telling.


“What makes you think they’re going to move back to New York? Did Grant say something to you?”


Damn she was fast. She already had it figured out.


“No, Grant didn’t say anything. Evan did.”


“Oh.” She sat back in her chair. “What did he say?”


“Nothing.”


“Bull. He said something. What did Evan say?”


“Just that he was thinking about moving back up north with Grant.”


“That’s the first I’ve heard of it. I thought Grant bought a house?”


“He did, but he can move back just as easily as he moved here.”


“I guess so. But, why would he? I thought that was why Evan took him back in the first place- because he’d moved down here.”


“He moved down here to get Evan and take him back to New York- he never intended to stay. That was just a trick to get Evan.”


“You don’t know that.” Engrid said, trying to reassure herself.


“Yes…Engrid….I do. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with Grant.”


“What’s that supposed to mean?”


Once again, Andrew had managed to say too much. “Nothing.”


“Grant said something to you. You can’t lie well if your life depended on it.”


Andrew sat silently for a minute. He could still feel the coldness of that gun barrel pressing against his forehead. He didn’t know what to say. The longer he remained silent, the antsier Engrid got. She knew that the longer he was silent, the worse it was going to be. “What did Grant say to you?”


“He said that I shouldn’t interfere with him taking Evan back to New York or…”


“Or what?”


“Nothing.”


“Quit lying to me- or what, Andrew?”


“He said he would kill me.” ‘Kill’ caught in his throat and the tears welled up and he could feel his face turning red.


“I’m sure he was just angry.” Engrid said, “I’m sure he didn’t mean that.”


“He broke into my house last night, put a gun to my forehead and said that I if I interfered with him taking Evan back to New York that he would come back and ‘blow my f***ing head off.’”


Engrid just sat there, staring blankly. It was taking a few seconds for the reality of what Andrew had just said to sink in. “My God, we’ve got to call the police.” She stood up and turned towards the door to go into the house.


“No. Whatever you do, do NOT call the police. That’d make things worse.”


She turned to face him. “We’ve got to, Andrew. Evan’s in danger. If Grant really said that to you, imagine what he must have said to Evan. Evan’s probably scared out of his wits.”


“He’s probably been nice to Evan and Evan has no idea he’s in danger.”


“Then we need to warn him,” Engrid insisted.


“He wouldn’t believe us. He would just think you were jealous and I was angry. He’d hate us both for trying.”


“So you’re just going to sit there and let this happen?”


“What other choice do we have?”


“You can fight for him. That’s what I intend to do.”


“No. Please don’t. Grant said that if you interfered, he’d make you wish you were already dead, then he’d come shoot me.”


“We can’t just sit here. That’d be the greatest sin of all. Think of Evan. Now I know you two haven’t always been the best of friends, and I know you’ve had you differences, but obviously you got over them. After all that, you’re going to let Evan get into a dangerous situation and not do anything to help him? What happens if Evan decides to stay and Grant pulls that gun on him? What if Grant shoots Evan, Andrew? What if we sit here and Evan ends up dead because we were too scared to stop it from happening?”


Andrew just looked up at her from his spot in the chair.


“What are we going to do?”


“I have to think about it. I think you’re right about not telling the police. But I’ll have to think about what else to do. I guess the easiest thing would be for me to go to Evan and explain what’s happened. He’d believe me. He might think you were just jealous, but I’ve had Evan move before, so he’d know it just wasn’t me trying to get him to stay.”


“How can we get him away from Grant long enough to do that?”


“I have no idea. Let me think about that. You think too and we’ll talk about it. I don’t imagine they’ll leave right away, so we’ve got a couple of days before we have to do anything. Andrew’s nerves were somewhat placated. If nothing else, there was an expert on the case. Engrid had dealt with no few crises in her life and was more than capable of seeing another one through.


Andrew went back to his house. He needed to be alone for a few minutes. He had a lot to think over. Engrid wasn’t sure how to handle going to Charleston with Dora in the morning. She decided that the best course of action for the time being was to keep what Andrew had told her confidential and act like nothing was wrong.





                                       #





Evan rolled over and opened his eyes. Grant lay peacefully asleep next to him, his head lying on the pillow, his face turned away from Evan.  Evan raised himself up on one elbow to gaze into his lover’s closed eyes. He was torn. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Grant loved him. Grant would do anything for him. Grant would kill for him, Evan knew that, but it was little comfort. He had never really given Grant his heart. He thought he had, but he didn’t even know what it meant to give your heart away. That was until he met Engrid’s new neighbor. Andrew had stolen Evan’s heart. There was something about Andrew that was addictive. It was his toothy grin, his hapless gardening abilities, his compassion, it was everything about him. But Evan was torn. Grant was familiar. Grant had proven that he would be there for him through it all. He knew that Grant was in it for the long haul and wasn’t going to back out on him. He didn’t think Andrew would do that, but he couldn’t be sure. He could be sure about Grant because he’d already done it. Grant had given up his whole life in Vermont, in New Hampshire, he’d even given up New York City to move to Deerfield, South Carolina- that was how much Grant loved Evan. How could Evan turn away from that? That kind of love and commitment don’t happen everyday.


Grant stirred. He moved his head and opened his sleepy eyes and looked at Evan. Grant stretched his arms up high onto the headboard of their new bed. Evan smiled and Grant smiled back.


“Good morning.” Grant said with a big yawn.


“How’d you sleep?” Evan asked.


“Great. You?”


“I guess so.”


“What’s the matter?”


“Nothing. This is just all happening so fast, you know.”


“I know. Why stop the momentum?”


“What do you mean?”


“Let’s go make breakfast and we’ll talk.”


“Okay,” He rolled over and put his feet on the cold hardwood floor. He walked across to his suitcase on the floor to get a pair of jeans to go on over his boxers. He put his feet in the legs and pulled them up. Grant always did like the way jeans fit Evan. He loved the way the blue fabric outlined his muscular body. Grant was always a tinge jealous because Evan had never been to a gym a day in his life. He just naturally looked like that. Evan turned to look at him. “Aren’t you going to get dressed?”


“Yeah,” he rolled over and got out on the other side.


When breakfast was ready, they sat down to eat.


“What did you want to talk to me about?” Evan feared the answer, but wanted to go ahead and get it over with.


“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about me not being happy here.”


“Yeah.”


“You’re right. Then I realized that you’re not happy either. You stay here because it’s comfortable. But it’s killing you. You have to hide and sneak and lie- I’m sorry, but that’s no way to live.”


Evan didn’t respond. He just stared as his eggs.


“This place is killing you, Evan.”


“What do you expect me to do about it?”


“Move back to New York. I know you don’t want to, but…you need to.”


“I don’t need to do anything.” Evan snapped.


“You were afraid of being outed, right?”


“Yeah.”


“Won’t people wonder why you’re not at the dry cleaner’s anymore? Evan, you’re almost 28 years old and you work at you mom’s dry cleaning store.”


“So?”


“You’ve got a degree from NYU for Christ’s sake. Don’t you think you should use the education your mom gave you to do something besides other people’s laundry? I mean, you could do advocacy work or something. Instead of doing something great and making the world a better place, are you telling me you’d rather stay here and live in fear and shame when you know that you could be out there doing something about it? That just doesn’t make sense, Evan. It really doesn’t make sense to me.”


“You don’t understand.”


“You’re right about that. I don’t have a clue what’s going on in your head. Please, Evan, come to New York. If not New York, at least go to Washington, DC or someplace where you can do some good. Please. That’s the main reason I came down here. It was eating me alive that you’re wasting your life down here by hiding when you have the education and the brains to change things for the better. Wouldn’t it be great if you could make it so that gay people could live in Deerfield and not fear for their lives?”


Those eggs on Evan’s plate were suddenly very fascinating.


“I’m afraid, Grant.”


“Of what?”


“People get killed for being gay.”


“So? Black people get killed for being black. Poor people get killed for being poor. People get killed for all kinds of crazy shit that they don’t have any control over. Evan, get out of here. Get some experience doing advocacy work in New York, and then come back here and try to make a difference. Please. Do it for yourself. Do it for the Andrew’s of the world.”


“I can’t. It would be great, but it just isn’t going to happen. Things aren’t going to change, Grant. Things just are the way they are and that’s that. There’s not one damned thing anybody can do about it.”


“Argh!” Grant pushed his chair back from the table and walked into the living room. Evan remained at the table. Grant was making perfect sense; but, he’d already left once before and he didn’t want to have to do that again. It was hard enough the first time, he didn’t know if he had the nerve to do it again. What Evan didn’t realize was that Grant was manipulating him. Grant wanted Evan to think it was a good idea to move back up north. Grant wanted to get Evan as far away from Andrew as soon as possible. He knew that Evan’s magnanimous spirit was a way to get him motivated to move back to New York, which had been Grant’s scheme all along.





                                       #





8:00 Tuesday morning, Dora rang Engrid’s doorbell. Engrid appeared and ushered her into the house.


“Are you ready to go?” Dora asked.


“Of course, just let me get my pocketbook and I’ll be ready.”


Dora stood in the doorway looking up and down the street. She walked over to the edge of the porch to get a better look at who might be watching them. She couldn’t imagine what would happen if people were to find out what she and Engrid were up to on this blistering hot July day. Engrid came out onto the porch. The door closed with a fair amount of force and surprised Dora who jumped a little.


They walked quickly to Dora’s blue Explorer. Since she’d parked behind Engrid’s car, effectively blocking it, Dora was going to drive. They decided to go all the way to Charleston because there was less chance of being spotted by someone they knew.


Dora put her Explorer in reverse and backed out onto the street.


“Why are you so nervous?” Engrid asked.


“What happens if someone finds out what we’re up to?”


“What are we up to? We’re going shopping in Charleston. What’s there for them to find out? It’s just you and me going out shopping on a Tuesday morning, nothing out of the ordinary.”


“I suppose, but what if someone finds out anyway that we’re going shopping for, you know a book about, well, gay people.”


“We’re in the car. Who are we going to tell? Click and Clack?”


She turned left from Sesquicentennial Avenue onto Main, she drove through downtown and from Main, and she turned right onto Hwy 43 South. When they crossed, I-26 at Exit 19 coming into Charleston, Engrid asked, “I guess we need to find a phone booth.”


“I’ve got a cellular telephone. We’ll call from the car.”


“What number to I need to call?”


“4-1-1,” Dora said, pulling her cell phone out of her pocketbook and handing it to Engrid who was pulling a pad and ink pen out of her own pocketbook. Engrid pressed the digits and held the phone up to her ear. She cast an uncertain glance as she wondered what she was about to unleash.


“Charleston, South Carolina. Gay bookstores. I know that’s not a listing, you stupid machine. Thank you- I want to talk to an operator.” She sat quietly for a moment. She started humming to the music on the phone. “Yes!” she said sitting up straight. “Is there a bookstore that sells, you know, books about gay people? Uh-huh.” Engrid started writing some things down.


Dora kept stealing glances at what Engrid was writing while keeping her eyes mostly on the increasing traffic as Hwy 43 morphed into St. Stephens Road. After a few grunts and uh-huh’s Engrid ended the conversation.


“Okay. There are several options. She said that most large chain bookstores have a section on gay things that we could look at. Otherwise, she said that the Ragin’ Texan was a good place to start.”


“I think we should go to the, what did you call it?” Dora asked, stopping at a traffic light.


“The Ragin Texan?”


“That way we can explain the situation to the clerk.”


“That’s a good idea; he’d know what to do, for sure.” Engrid agreed.


“So,” Dora asked, “How do we get there?”


“She said it was on Texas Street, near the waterfront. She said it was near the Charleston National Cemetery, about a block over from the Civic Center.”


“So if we wander around the waterfront, we should find it?”


“I would imagine so.”


They drove on a few more minutes. “What are we going to tell the clerk by way of explaining ourselves?” Engrid asked.


“We’ll just be honest and tell them that we don’t want Evan to go away and so we need to get him and Andrew back together so they can live happily ever after.”


Engrid didn’t respond. She just sat watching the other cars on the four lane road and the rows of strip malls going by. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”


“What other choice do we have?”


Engrid didn’t respond. “I just hope we don’t end up making things worse.”


“I don’t think that’s possible, Engrid.”


“You know better than most people that I don’t have a very good track record when it comes to these sorts of things. I’m notorious for meaning well but making things even worse than they already are.”


“This time will be different. I hope. We’ll just go to the bookstore, tell our story to the clerk and see what he says. If he says we should stay out of it, we will. Within reason, we’ll do whatever he tells us to do.”


They got to Texas Street several blocks from the waterfront. Dora parallel parked on the street. Engrid got out and deposited several quarters in the meter.


“Which way do we go from here?” Engrid asked, looking at the time display on the parking meter. “I hope it’s not too far. It’s hot out here.”


Dora made her way around the front of the Explorer and joined Engrid on the sidewalk. They looked up and down the street trying to decide which way to go.


“You’re the one who took down the directions.”


“I think if we go this way, we’ll get there.” Engrid started off down the street with Dora right by her side. They passed all types of odd little shops. Mostly trinket gift shops and antique stores. They walked along thinking that something called ‘The Ragin’ Texan’ shouldn’t be too hard to spot. They walked most of the way up to the corner of Meredith Street.


“Maybe we should turn around,” Dora suggested.


“I think if we go up a little further, we’ll find it.”


“I think we should ask for directions. Surely one of these people is bound to know where it is.”


“I’m not about to ask someone where the gay bookstore is. They’ll think we’re a couple of gays.”


Dora just pursed her lips. She knew it was wrong of them to think that, but she couldn’t bring herself to risk making a total stranger that she would never see again in her life think she was an 86 year old lesbian. Engrid’s eyes kept scanning the street, looking over the parked cars, other pedestrians, and moving traffic hoping to spot a sign on the opposite side. She’d kept her eyes on that side too as they had walked, but just in case she missed it the first time by.


“Follow him.” Dora said, taking off at a trot.


“Why? What are we doing?” her short legs were moving fast to keep up with Dora’s lankier gait. “Where are we going?”


“That man is dressed like some of the pictures I saw at the library the other day.”


“So?”


“I’ll bet he’s one of them. Maybe he’s going to the store too.”


“You think he’s one of them?”


“Maybe.” Dora was still moving swiftly to keep up with the young, fast paced man in the jeans and T-shirt. Dora was convinced the man was going to The Ragin’ Texan. So, she and Engrid raced to keep up with the man who had no idea he was being followed.


He turned and disappeared. It didn’t look like he’d gone into a store. It looked almost like he’d walked through a wall. Engrid and Dora hurried to see where he’d disappeared to. They caught up to the spot and realized that the man had gone into an alleyway between a barber shop and an antique store specializing in old farm equipment.


“I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” Engrid said. She was suddenly hesitant which was uncharacteristic of her. Usually she was the one charging ahead with reckless abandon. This time it was Dora’s turn. Dora walked into the alleyway between them intent on following the young man to his destination. Engrid stood on the sidewalk watching for a few seconds before she went into the narrow passage between the buildings. The alleyway couldn’t have been more than four feet wide and was lined with garbage bags and silver metal trash cans. Dora stepped over and around the garbage bags until she came to the end of the alley. It opened onto a nice wide gravel path that ran along behind the buildings. It was a rear access road for the buildings that faced Texas Street and Florida Avenue. Dora looked both ways. The man was gone. She walked out into the middle of the street and looked up and down the road. Engrid scanned the red brick backs of the buildings too for some evidence of The Ragin’ Texan. Dora looked confused and Engrid looked frustrated.


“I’m going back out to the street. I don’t think it’s safe for us to be back here,” Engrid said, turning back toward the alley. “Besides, it’s almost lunchtime. I’m getting hungry. We should go find a nice place to eat. Maybe a sandwich or something. I don’t feel like eating anything too heavy…” Engrid heard footsteps on the gravel. She turned around and saw Dora walking away, down the access road. “Where are you going?” She called to her. “Dora, what did you see?”


Dora didn’t answer, she just kept walking. A few feet down, she turned and looked up to see a door with a sign over it reading “The Ragin’ Texan.”


“Here it is,” Dora announced.


“What on earth is it doing back here?”


“Privacy I would imagine. I guess we aren’t the only folks who don’t want to be seen here.”


“Makes sense I guess,” Engrid conceded. “Is it open?”


Dora walked up and pulled the door open. “Guess so. After you…”


Engrid stepped into the store. It was very clean and neat. All the books were on the shelves. Engrid was aghast at the greeting cards featuring parts of the male anatomy she hadn’t seen in many a decade. Except for her encounter with Andrew the night he was chasing the ghost. While Andrew’s was nice, it wasn’t like these fleshy rolling pins. Despite her moral compunction, she couldn’t help but look at the cards and admire the view, just a bit. Dora wasn’t so easily distracted. She was already scanning the shelves looking for a title that sounded like it might be useful.


A man, about 20 or so with jet black hair with lots of gel in it, innumerable earrings, and a tattoo on each forearm came over. “Can I help you ladies?”


He startled Engrid, who whipped around to face the young man. She was startled by his appearance and didn’t say anything at first. She just gawked that someone would appear in public looking like that, let along show up for work. Dora stepped up to bat.


“Yes, we were looking for a book,” Dora explained.


Engrid’s brain kicked into gear and she started talking. “Maybe you could help.”


“I’ll try,” the young man said with a broad smile. He never realized that women that old could be gay.


“You see,” Engrid began, “My friend, named Evan, fell in love with my next door neighbor Andrew. Well, Evan moved to New York City some years ago, then moved back home about two years ago. About two months ago, Andrew, who just graduated from college moved in to my dear friend Rose’s old house. Well they hit it off and fell in love because they’re gay you see. Now Evan’s old boyfriend from New York returned suddenly and decided to move here. Well, Evan’s gone back to his old boyfriend, Grant, who’s a very nice young man too; by the way, I have nothing against him other than the trouble he’s caused. But I’m afraid that Grant will convince Evan to move back up north- permanently and I don’t want him to do that because he’s like a grandson to me, so we need to figure out a way to get Andrew and Evan back together so that they can live together in Rose’s old house next door to me. Andrew is just so lonely without Evan and he loves Evan a lot and Evan loves Andrew, but he also loves Grant, but we need him to choose Andrew and send Grant packing back to New Hampshire or Vermont or wherever it was he came from. Do you understand?”


“I think so.” He folded his arms and looked at the two women who just entered the store with this bizarre tale.


“So,” Dora said, “we need to get Evan to reject is old boyfriend who’s returned in favor of his new boyfriend, how can we do that?”


“Hmmm. I don’t know.”


“Are there any books that might help?” Engrid asked, “We told Andrew that if he loved Evan, he should fight for him, but he said he didn’t know what to do because he doesn’t have much experience with this sort of thing either and so yesterday Dora and I were talking about what we could do to help Andrew win Evan back and we decided that there’s bound to be a book that could help him understand what he needs to do to win Evan back from Grant and keep Evan here and not let him move back up north where I know he’ll be miserable just like he was the last time he moved up there.”


The boy just looked at Engrid with a look of confusion. He turned to Dora who translated Engrid’s hurried gibberish. “If I were a gay man and I wanted to win my boyfriend back from another man, is there a book that could give me some advice?”


“We’ll see,” He said walked towards the back of the store. Engrid and Dora followed him.


“Well, I guess we were a bit rushed. I’m Dora Murchison and this is my friend Engrid Matthews. We’re from up in Deerfield.”


“I’m Ryan Mormon. I’m from here in Charleston.”


“Why do you work here?” Engrid asked curiously.


“Gotta earn a living. I like books, I’m gay so here I am.”


They got to the back of the store. “There are some books on this shelf that might help. It’s got a lot of dating and relationship advice and stuff. If that’s what you’re looking for.”


“Maybe,” Dora said concentrating very hard, “What about if they already have a relationship, it just ended abruptly and they want to patch it back together. Dora was too busy trying to figure out which books to get to notice that Engrid had wondered away and was browsing alone on a nearby bookshelf. Dora’s eyes kept going up and down and back and forth scanning the titles of the books. They were all on white wooden shelves. Most were right side up, others were turned sideways. There were even books stacked neatly on the floor because there wasn’t enough shelf space in the tiny store. The librarian in her was distressed that there were books laying everywhere. She wondered what the likelihood was of developing a section of the library for reading about gay and lesbian issues. She didn’t figure that was very likely. Then people would begin to wonder why she was suddenly so interested in gay issues. She could explain that it was because of Morgan, but that was long enough ago that people probably wouldn’t buy it. Her mind was whirring with all the thoughts flashing through it as she read the spines.


The clerk was watching her. There wasn’t anyone else in the store, so he didn’t have anything else to do except watch two little old lesbians buying books. His youthful intelligent eyes moved quickly from Dora’s face, screwed up with a look of concentration, and the available books on the shelf.


“Is this it?” He asked, retrieving a book. It was called Mending the Past or something like that. Dora took the book from the boy’s hand and turned it over in her own. It looked interesting. It might help.


“I-I-I-I-I-I-I!” Dora heard a shriek from the corner. She dropped the book and the young man spun around on his heels to see what had happened. Engrid was holding up a magazine and looked scandalized. She was holding the edge of the magazine by the tips of her fingers and holding it away from her body as if she was holding a trap with a dead mouse in it. There was another piece of paper hanging below the main body of the magazine. Engrid had found the centerfold. Despite looking scandalized, she neither dropped the magazine nor averted her eyes. Then her look dissipated into something bordering on mesmerization.


“What is it?” Dora asked.


Ryan hurried over and slipped the magazine out of Engrid’s hand and returned it to the rack.


“Why do you sell that?” Engrid asked.


“Gotta turn a profit- people buy it, so we’ll sell it.”


Engrid didn’t know what to say, her mouth just hung open. Dora picked up the book she’d been looking at and resumed reading the synopsis on the back.


“Is there something I can help you find?” Ryan asked Engrid.


“No, I’m fine. I was just shocked. I mean. Well, nothing.”


“What’s the matter, ma’am.”


“It’s just that it was so big,” Engrid said.


“What do you mean?” Ryan smiled slyly.


“His….you know…equipment.” Engrid said, lowering her voice and looking at Ryan over the top of her glasses.


“Yeah,” Ryan said almost dreamily, “It is pretty big.”


Engrid just stared at the magazine rack. Secretly, she wanted another look, but wasn’t about to tell Ryan or Dora that. So, she continued browsing.


“Are young guys…you know…like that?” Engrid asked, turning to face Ryan as he turned to walk back over to help Dora, who was clearly much more mission focused that her companion.


Ryan flushed a little. He wasn’t particularly comfortable having a sex talk with a woman who was older than his grandmother- especially when he was the one doing the explaining.


“Sometimes,” Ryan said, “They haven’t changed. Dicks have always been big.”


Engrid looked confused. “What’s that?”


“Dicks? Oh. Penises”


“Ah,” she said nodding to indicate her understanding. He turned and rejoined Dora. She was still holding the book he’d shown her. She didn’t need any more help, so Ryan disappeared into the back of the store. She picked out a few more books and went up to the counter a few minutes later.


“Are you about ready to go Engrid? I know you’re hungry.”


“Yeah,” she called out, “I’ll be there in a minute.”


Dora shot her a sly glance as she looked around for Ryan. “Engrid?”


“Dora, what wouldn’t you give to be seventy years younger?”


“Nothing- trying to figure out all this mess would drive me plumb batty.”


“I wouldn’t mind trying. M-mh!” Engrid said; she had a magazine in her hand.


Dora snatched it away, “You are not buying porn.”


“It is not porn,” Engrid insisted, “It’s got this really nice article about this ski instructor out in Utah or somewhere, I’ll have you know. He and his partner Alfonso or Alfredo or something run a school together. They have a scholarship program so that underprivileged kids can have a chance to go skiing. Now isn’t that nice of them?”


“Sounds to me like you’ve already read it.”


“Part of it. But it also has a nice recipe for clam bake.”


Dora rolled her eyes. She noticed a little bell on the counter. She rang it and sure enough, Ryan reappeared from the back of the store smelling like cigarette smoke.


“Did you get what you needed?”


“I think so. If not, I guess we’ll be back.” Dora said.


“It was nice meeting you,” Engrid said.


“It was nice meeting you too.” He replied handing Dora her change. She didn’t want to put that charge on her credit card- what if someone was to see it?


They had their books in their nondescript paper bag and walked out of the store. Dora insisted they put the books in the Explorer before they went to lunch. Dora had made progress, but all this was still weird and foreign for her. But at least she was willing to make progress.





                                       #





Dora and Engrid got back late that night. They’d decided to go down to Folly Beach and walk in the sand overlooking the Atlantic Ocean before returning to the ceaseless melodrama of Deerfield. That night, Dora pulled up to the curb in front of Engrid’s house.


“Phew,” Dora said, “I think I’m going home and going straight to bed.”


“Me too. This has been one long day, huh Dora.”


Dora just looked at the amber lit street. Engrid pulled the books out from under the seat and opened her door.


“Call me tomorrow?” Dora said as Engrid was turning around to close the door.


“I will. Get some sleep old friend.”


“Who’re you calling old?” Dora smiled, “See you in the morning.”


Engrid pushed the car door closed and walked up the concrete walkway to her front steps. Dora drove the 100 feet to her own driveway entrance and parked. Once inside, Engrid went into the kitchen and dumped the books out of their nondescript paper bag and onto the table.


“This can wait till morning,” she said to herself and went upstairs to bed.


She awoke with a start. She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or not, but she was sure that she’d heard a noise out on the porch. She went to the closet and pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and went down the stairs to investigate. She saw the silhouette of someone sitting on her porch swing. She froze. What if Grant had some to make good on his warning to Andrew? No, the figure on the porch wasn’t Grant. It was a woman. She peeked through the blinds to see who it was. It was Myrtle.


“What’s the matter?” She opened the door.


“My baby’s gone,” She cried out. She flopped back onto the swing and cradled her head in her hands.


“What do you mean?”


“I said my baby’s gone. He packed a suitcase and then he was gone.”


Engrid looked over. Andrew’s lights were on but his car was gone. She walked as quickly as she could over to Andrew’s house. She threw open the door and walked in. She stood in the foyer calling out his name. Her voice echoed in the open space. She walked up and down the hall and looked in several rooms calling his name. She went out into the backyard calling him. There was still no response. She picked up the phone and dialed Dora’s number. As she was dialing, she walked back over to Myrtle.


“Where were Evan and Grant staying?” Engrid asked Myrtle.


“I don’t know. My baby’s gone!” She went back to crying.


Dora answered the phone on the 8th ring. “What’s going on?”


“It’s Engrid. Evan’s left and Andrew is missing.”


“Dora, do you know where Evan and Grant were staying?”


“Um, I don’t know.  I don’t think Andrew knew either.”


“Well, we’ve got to do something.” Engrid said, looking out at the street, her mind racing to find a solution before it was too late. She hurried back down the steps. Her mind suddenly kicked into gear.


“Meet me on the curb in front of your house in 45 seconds.”


“Why? What’s going on? Where are we going?” Dora asked.


Engrid threw Andrew’s handset on the car seat her old Town Car in reverse and flew out into the street. Dora emerged from her house wearing a floral housecoat with her pink curlers still in her hair.


“Where are we going?” Dora said, standing in the opened car door.


“Malvern.”


“What’s on Malvern?” Sat down in the car and shut the door just as Engrid hit the gas and squalled a little rubber away from the curb.


“I remember seeing that Outback parked at a house on Malvern. That’s bound to be it, right?”


Myrtle remained on the porch.


“I guess. I don’t know. It’s late.”


Almost instantly, they were in front of the house on Malvern.


“God I hope we’re not too late.”


“It’s not too late, Engrid, I know it’s not.” Dora was finally awake and clear on what was going on.


They got to the house Engrid remembered. Andrew’s Pathfinder was parked on the street. Dora pulled up behind it. Engrid jumped from the car the instant it stopped. Andrew was on the porch frantically punching the doorbell, but to no avail. Engrid ran up behind him as Dora was rounding the front of the car and stepping onto the curb.


Andrew heard a car drive up and turned, hoping it was Evan and Grant. It wasn’t- he was disappointed, so kept ringing the doorbell and looking into the darkened windows.


They ran up onto the porch behind Andrew and looked through the same darkened windows, hoping that they were there and Andrew had just missed seeing them. Andrew stopped ringing the doorbell, turned around and fell back against the edge of the doorframe, a look of panic on his face. Could it be true that Evan had really run away? Maybe this was just some huge misunderstanding that would sort itself out in the morning. Engrid and Dora looked at him with a look of sorrow. They could only imagine what he must be feeling right now. Engrid flopped heavily onto a wooden rocking chair- its rockers rumbling against the rough and slightly uneven floorboards of the old house.


“I just don’t’ understand. How could Evan do this?” Engrid said.


“Maybe that Grant character made him go against his will,” Dora suggested, “You remember what he said that night he turned up at Andrew’s, you remember, the night we all were playing cards. Maybe Evan’s been kidnapped.”


“By Grant? Evan could kick Grant’s butt any day of the week,” Engrid declared.


“Well, something must have happened,” Dora said, “Is Evan’s truck here?”


“Yeah,” Andrew said, “It’s around back, but Grant’s car is gone.


“Maybe they just went out and will be back in a few minutes.”


All Andrew could think about was what Engrid had said yesterday about Grant killing Evan. It made him sick to his stomach to think that horrible monster might murder Evan. He didn’t know if he could go on if he knew that Evan had been shot to death by that man. Those would haves, should haves, and could haves, would have driven him insane. He paced frantically around as the fear set in that something awful had happened to Evan. Despite all that had happened since Grant’s arrival, Andrew knew that he loved Evan more than anyone or anything else in the world. It tore his heart out that Evan had left him so easily. Dora was standing on the top step looking out at the street. Engrid remained seated in the chair.


“I have no idea what to do next,” Engrid said, “This whole thing has been confusing. I haven’t known what to do about you and Evan since before this whole mess with Grant started. Even back when you didn’t like each other, I couldn’t quite figure out what to do. So, I’m really not going to be much help now. I just hope that it will all work itself out in the end. I don’t think there’s much else we can do right now because we have no way to know where they’re going.” Engrid was rambling.


Dora folded her arms and stared out into the empty street. “It hasn’t been 24 hours, so we can’t report him missing.”


“24 hours from now, they could be in New York City, or at least close to it.”


“There’s no way to track them.” Andrew said, “There’s nothing else we can do.”


Even though every atom in their bodies revolted against it, they too agreed that there was nothing more that could be done. They had done their best and had failed yet again. Andrew had gotten tired of failing. Failing at love sucks.


“I guess we should go home.” Dora said, and took a step down towards the walkway that lead out to the curb where here Explorer was parked.





                             #





They were driving Grant’s car back to New York. Once they were there, Grant was going to fly back to South Carolina and get rid of the extra property, including Evan’s Cherokee, his most prized possession. Grant was driving as Evan stared out of the passenger’s side window at the cars containing other people going on about their happy little lives. Inside his own body, Evan was a tortured prisoner. He looked out into the vast darkness of night and saw only his own reflection in the glass. He looked out into nothing and saw only himself.


“Are you alright? You seem kind of quiet.”


“Just thinking?”


Grant smiled over at him. “Evan, did I ever tell you that you’re amazing.”


“No.”


“You are. I know you don’t like the word, but Evan I really do love you.”


“I know.” He still hadn’t taken his eyes off his reflection in the window.


“Something’s bothering you- tell me, what is it?”


“I just feel like I may be making a big mistake.”


“You’re not. I know you don’t feel it now, but once you’re back in the city, this will all be a distant memory and you’ll be able to live again. It’ll be you and me again, in Manhattan- 11 million people but just you and me.”


“I know.” He sounded a bit disappointed. After Andrew, everyone else, even Grant, seemed like a giant leap downward.


“You don’t sound very excited about it.”


“I’m sorry.” He just continued to stare out of the window. Suddenly an image popped into his head. He remembered the time that he and Andrew had gone to the pond for a picnic. He remembered how happy he had been, driving that 4 wheeler across that pasture with Andrew’s arms wrapped around him and Andrew’s face pressed into his shoulder. He remembered the look of amazement and wonder that Andrew had on his face when he saw what Evan had done. God he missed Andrew. He hadn’t been gone 48 hours yet and he already missed him.


Grant knew Evan well enough to know that the harder you pushed, the less likely you were to succeed. So, he just let it slide that Evan wouldn’t tell him what was bothering him. He was a bit disappointed. Evan wasn’t nearly as excited to be going as Grant had hoped. He had hoped that he would ride into town; Evan would have missed him so much that he would just run into his waiting arms. He would whisk the love of his life up off his feet and they would ride off into the sunset together. It was supposed to be the most romantic gesture of his life. The only problem was that the love of his life refused to play along. The love of his life was not very happy with the situation.


“We need to stop for gas soon.” Grant said into the darkened interior.


Evan didn’t respond. He was remembering when he and Andrew went to the movies. He remembered how he felt when he first looked at Andrew standing in his front yard. He remembered how he stopped in his tracks and just stared in awe, wonder, and amazement. Now he felt heartsick.


The car pulled off onto an exit ramp. They rode to the top of the hill and turned right and into a large truck stop. The little red Outback pulled up to a row of pumps and stopped. Grant just looked at Evan for a second. He opened the door and got out. After setting the pump running he ducked his head back into the open car door.


“Do you want me to get you anything from inside?”


“I’m fine?”


“Are you sure? I’ll get you something to drink. Maybe that’ll perk you up or something.” Grant smiled at him. Evan refused to meet his gaze. Grant hoped that this little huff would end soon and Evan would cheer up. He wasn’t sad often, but when he was sad he was downright depressing.


“I’m fine, thanks.”


“Well, I’ve got to go pee, so I’ll be back in a second. Don’t run off.”


Evan sat in the car and watched Grant as he approached the store. Grant brushed past someone and entered the clear glass doors of the main store area. He rounded the bend and went down an aisle toward the bathrooms. As soon as Grant was out of sight, Evan threw open the car door and got out. He ran over to a shadowy corner of the parking lot and glanced around. He noticed a trucker looking at him.


Evan jogged over to him. “Are you headed toward Deerfield?” He asked.


“No. I’m headed north. Sorry.”


“That’s okay.” Evan stayed in a corner out of sight. He saw Grant come out of the gas station and approach the car. Grant stopped and realized that Evan wasn’t waiting for him in the car. Thinking that Evan had gone into the store, Grant turned around and went back inside. It didn’t take him long to realize that Evan wasn’t in the store, nor was he in the restrooms. Evan was gone. Grant came storming out of the store and Evan crouched down even lower so as not to be spotted. Not that it mattered-Grant knew precisely where Evan was going to go. Evan didn’t care. He hoped Grant would show up at Andrew’s house, that way he could declare his love for Andrew and ask Grant to go back to New Hampshire or New York or wherever he wanted to go. He wanted to show Andrew how much he cared about him. He wanted Andrew to know that he would always be there for him and would never do anything else to hurt him ever again.


Grant stormed around the car for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. He got in and drove over and parked. He waited a few minutes for Evan to change his mind and come back to the car.


“Can I help you?” A man asked from behind him?”


“Are you going to Deerfield?” Evan asked.


“Going past in on the interstate, why?”


“Could you give me a lift? I need to get back there tonight and the guy I was riding with is in a big hurry and doesn’t have time to drop me off there. You can just let me off at the top of the exit ramp.”


“Get in.”


Evan opened the door of the rig and climbed in. The burly chain smoker got behind the wheel. He put the rig in gear and it lurched forward. They drove past the little red Subaru and back out toward the interstate. Evan was confident that he had not been spotted perched up in that huge Freightliner sleeper.


Grant kept glancing in the rear view mirror hoping that he had made a mistake and that Evan really had just gone into the store or was walking around to get some fresh air. He didn’t want to think about the idea that Evan had really left him.


The interior of the truck was filled with the twangy sounds of the local country station. Neither Evan nor the trucker said anything as they rode along. They were only about 45 minutes away from Deerfield anyway. The trucker dropped Evan off at the all-night diner out by the interstate. He went in. A few minutes later a friend of Evan’s came in and saw him. “What are you doing here?”


“Hey Jason.”


“I didn’t see your Cherokee parked outside.”


“It’s not. I rode with someone but he left me; could you give me a ride?”


“Sure. Do you need to go now?”


“Yeah. If you don’t mind.”


“Okay that’s cool.” Jason and Evan both left the diner without actually having eaten anything. “Who left you there?”


“It doesn’t matter.”


Jason too knew that pushing Evan for answers was counterproductive.


They chatted aimlessly as friends do as they rode back toward the street on which Andrew lived. Evan didn’t feel like explaining anything, so he had Jason drop him off at home. As soon as Jason’s car drove out of sight, Evan struck off down the sidewalk.





#





“Give me your keys, I’ll drive you home, you’re in no condition to drive yourself.” Engrid said, reaching out her hand toward Andrew. He dug in his pocket and fished his keys out.


“It is odd that he left his Cherokee. He loved that old thing.” Dora said.


“I know, but who knows why he left it.” Engrid said. She took Andrew’s keys and started down the steps. Dora went and got in her car and watched Andrew and Engrid. They got in and shut the doors. When the interior light went off in the Pathfinder, Dora cranked up her car and drove off down the street.


“I don’t know what to say other than ‘I’m sorry.’” Engrid said. “I know none of this is either of us’ faults; but still, I know it hurts.”


“It does. But you love him too.”


“That I did. I did love that boy, I truly did. I still do. I guess I always will.”


“Me too…” Andrew looked out the window into the dark side yard. There weren’t as many streetlamps in this part of town and so it was much darker. He looked out into the vast darkness and saw only his reflection in the window. She started the car and pulled away from the curb.


“I just can’t believe he left that fast.” Andrew said, “After all the time we spent together, that he would just leave without goodbye or anything.”


“Maybe he was taken against his will. I would hate to think that. I know Evan has trouble loving and showing emotion as it is, being kidnapped by his ex-boyfriend isn’t going to help that one bit.”


In a few minutes, the tires crunched on the gravel of Andrew’s driveway. The lights in Dora’s living room were on and her car was parked in her driveway.


“Do you need company?” Engrid asked as they sat in the car.


“I’m fine. I just need to be alone for a few minutes.”


“I understand. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”


“Yeah... I think I’ll call in and take the day off tomorrow.”


“You need it.” Engrid laughed a little. “You’ve had a rough couple of days.”


“We all have.”