Down the Rabbit Hole

Contemplating the Perfection of Chris Cornell

Some mornings, in my quest to write something every day, I get stuck staring at this beige text box, waiting for inspiration to hit me and for my fingers to began flying over the noisy keys. Some mornings, this wait takes a bit longer. When I get stuck I sometimes turn on my Pandora in the hopes that I will find a muse in the streaming tunes. This morning, Chris Cornell's vocal perfection flowed from my speakers and my fingertips began to twitch. I grew up musically when bands like Nirvana, Temple of the Dog and Soundgarden were just starting to find their way to mainstream radio. In no time bands like Pearl Jam and Soundgarden began to be the musical landscape of my generation. My angst and rebellion were fueled by Nirvana and Kurt Cobain's throaty anthems and my blooming sexuality connected like a lightening rod to Soundgarden's seductive, crystal-eyed frontman. Chris Cornell, with his long black tresses, finely chiseled cheek bones and sinewy frame that for me, embodied sexuality. And when he sang...forget it. He's got the kind of voice you feel inside you, snaking through your system, setting off sensors of delight in all corners of your organism. Though his solo pursuits never seemed to reach the height of the notoriety he enjoyed with Soundgarden, he remains to this day, one of my absolute favorite male voices in music. I've yet to hear anyone who's matched the power, range and passion the Cornell possess. "Black Hole Sun" can still stop me in my tracks. I rarely listen to the radio anymore these days. I feel as if I grew up in music with such character, the bands today simply don't connect me to anything. Whenever I hear Eddie Vedder I'm transported back to those shy, sweet moments in the back of my first serious boyfriend's car, when we believed everything we ever wanted could be found in each other's arms and all our feelings could be clearly explained in the lyrics of any Pearl Jam song. The other day, Temple of the Dog's tune "Hunger Strike", took me back like a time warp to the days I struggled with my parent's divorce, when I suffered my first introduction to loss and betrayal and to the truth that love is rarely, if ever, enough. I listened to the song over and over again, finding some comfort in repetitive lyrics and the stripped down acoustics. Back then, I had believed I was becoming a real person for the first time, the persona I would take forward into the world...the country of me. Little did I know how much more would come to shape me, break me and rebuild me later on. That music though, will forever be associated with my first forays into adulthood and connected to all the bittersweet moments of those times and Chris Cornell will always give me pause to take a moment and remember.