Down the Rabbit Hole

Gimmie Shelter

I ran out to run a few errands at lunch and was surprised when I was assaulted by an urge I had not had for several years. While waiting in the line for the drive-up teller I had the sudden desire for a cigarette. It has been years and years since I smoked with any dedication. I quit one day without any drama, and never looked back. Today however, I craved one of those loathesome sticks like a seasoned addict. Stress, my sinister companion these last few weeks, was messing with me. Instead of pulling into to buy a pack of camels, I scanned the stations frantically and finding an old Rolling Stones tune, engaged another other one of my vices for a few moments...loud music. While it wasn't the much preferred for my purposes, Buckcherry or Saliva..."Gimmie Shelter" had just enough of a driving beat to inspire some steering wheel slapping and throaty singing. I rode that tune all the way back to my parking space, my weary brain thankful for the distraction. I'm not willing to go backwards in this life. There are many places I will not revisit. Sometimes you can not help but open old wounds, there are places where my soul will always be a little more broken than others but I try not to tread too heavily on the faultlines of my past pain. Having a smoke in a weak moment, just feels like I would be doing exactly that.