My Thoughts: when the mood strikes.

Friday, May 6, 2011, 10:36am

Friday, May 6, 2011, 10:36am

         I woke up at about 9:00am this morning after being up past 2am.  Now that ain't gonna happen often with me because I need me beauty rest.  =0

         I wish I could force someone to hire me, but that's just not how its done. Though I am suffering, I remember there are people starving in Africa.  Its not fair, but its true.  Do I really think I am any better, any more deserving then them?  No, I don't.  I wonder how they do it, keep going from day-to-day not knowing if there will be food tomorrow for their families.  Where do they live?  Does it not cost over there to provide shelter for yourself and your family?  or is it so impoverished that all become squatters?

         Throughout the last ten years of my life, I have too often thought about giving it all up and living under a bridge.  The  striving day-after-day takes its toll.  Yet, He says:  Quit striving.  Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10  How does one do that in the face of adversity?  Though not there, I am learning.

         When I think that all I ever wanted out of life was a husband and a family, yet those very  things have eluded me as I find myself alone, on the verge of being destitute.  I wonder for how long I can go on like this.  Hope is evasive.  I am reminded that in the end, these three remain:  faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13

         ...and finally, I am reminded of my favorite scripture --- a testament, really:

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls---
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
~Habakkuk 3:17,18