Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

Aw Shucks!

Aw Shucks!

Today was that kind of day. When I wrote this blog I couldn’t spell to save my butt… It was frustrating . Then I signed a check and dated it 2012. Was that stupid or what….? Then I kept flashing back over all the thoughtless things I have said in my lifetime and the people I have hurt. Each time I suffered one of these incongruities I cringed and said “Aw Shucks!“

I suspect that I am not alone in having these moments… as a matter of fact my wife is even worse than I am. She obsesses all the time on hateful things that have been said or done to her and all the little examples where I have been something less than a stellar husband. She remembers each and every instance and when she gets on a rant can rattle them off for hours without repeating herself.

Suffering these is part of the dues of being a husband but at a certain point enough is enough and we go at each other. My daughters sometimes needed someone to fight with and I often was chosen for the role... They get this honestly from their mother who got it honestly from her mother and mine for that matter. It is a thread of violence that from time to time animates their entire being. I call it the “Killer Instinct” and it is a powerful and sometimes frightening aspect of a woman’s character. In a sense it is a bad thing and in a sense it isn’t. It is what drives them to make a family function almost to the point of obsession.

Am I boring my readers? Is this a trait that is unique to my family? Is this some sort of a manic energy that takes performance to the next level or is it the dark side of the force that everyone must contend with?

There is a wonderful woman who is the minister in our church who is the “Real Deal.” God loves her because she walks the walk. Not particularly charismatic but good to the core. I recruited her a number of years ago when I had the job to find temporarily “Lay Ministers” to fill in while the Conference was supposedly looking for someone to fill our pulpit.
I got her on the phone and the first thing I heard was a screaming baby and pandemonium in the background…. I offered to call back and she said “No, things were just a bit Hectic.”

Anyway on Sunday we got to talking and she told me what a mean and hateful SOB her grandfather had been and how he abused her Grandmother who was a sweet and gentle soul….How he was involved in illegal activities during prohibition and would come home, get her pregnant and go back on the road never leaving a penny to support the family. It sounded like my Grandfather…

It amazes me sometimes how there are any offspring at all given the men and women I often see married to one another. I won’t go there because it is depressing to see the existence that many live and yet you have to wonder that despite all the appearance of anguish and suffering there weren’t some redeeming and joyful moments. Maybe not many but maybe a few sprinkled here and there… and these too soon forgotten.

I have been fortunate to have had more than my share of happiness and a whole lot more than perhaps I deserved. So when I have too many “Aw Shucks!” moments I try and chase them away with some of those that were truly memorable and full of the warm and fuzzies. It works for me.