Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

My Wife, Linda

My Wife Linda

My wife and I are very different. She is the only woman I have ever been seriously interested in and she claims that I was the only man that ever gave her a second glance…except her Uncle who she won’t talk about.

Anyway there is the “Chick Magnet” gene in my family that fortunately skipped me but landed square on my father, my brother and many of my cousins. They have the “Twinkle” which I envy in a sense but mostly thank God I don’t have. It is easier to be a decent and upstanding sort of person if you don’t have the chronic temptations the men in my family have faced….

Last night I had a dream that I was a cave man and was confronted by a bear. I was very nervous (Like Vietnam) but under control and swinging my club back and forth, maintaining eye to eye, as the Bear postured, growled and made threatening advances. Behind me was my wife Linda… She is smarter than me but our personalities are very different. She was very excited by the confrontation. To really appreciate the dream you have to imagine how the scene must have appeared from the Bear’s point of view.

In frame 1 Linda stands on her tiptoes, and hollers an obscenity over my shoulder.

In frame 2 she darts her head to the other side, shaking her fist, while telling me to be more aggressive.

In frame 3 she picks up a rock and throws it at the bear…

In frame 4 she peers around the other side, and makes a taunting gesture.

In frame 5 I look back at her and say, “Honey, stop it….that’s enough.”

If you want to know what living with her is like, this vision typifies how we face life’s challenges and interact with one together.