Down the Rabbit Hole

Tender Alice

It has been a rough few days as I am battling aching joints and headaches that seem to come out of the blue. I've had to remove my rings because typing is painful enough without the pressure of the metal bands. I've increased my water intake in hopes to flush out the mysterious illness that threatens to tap my already low energy reserves. I've still not cleaned up the house after the storm and all the sheets need changing and the fridge needs a complete overhaul. I'm trying not to get depressed even as I ponder whether or not this is just the aging process aggravated by additional stress...I feel every bit as old as my thirty-seven years. on the writing front, I've managed to churn out some new material but I am still lagging behind in my efforts to get things out to potential publishers and the gap between my acceptances grows wider by the week. My weak attempt at blogging is the only thing I seem to manage to do with any regularity. This morning my daughter's typical demands seemed suddenly overwhelming and I found that I was raising my voice in opposition to her defiant head shakes and other typical toddler resistance tactics. Driving to work, I was sick with guilt over my relief that my husband had elected to handle the morning drop off at daycare. It is hard to keep positive when you have the nagging suspicion that you are failing at most things. Last night the woman I saw in the mirror looked tired and washed out. I used to be vibrant once.