Hodgepodge

January 9 short story

The hour of silence in the house gave Titus a chance to take a sober look at his life. He pondered the mistakes of the past three years and how all had culminated with a ruined romance, a messed up marriage, and a child shared by separated parents. All things he'd never wanted for himself. Today, he made a decision to get at least some of those things straightened out.

Walking through his room to the master bath, he saw Jessica was still asleep. He closed the door to the bathroom and took a shower. He realized, he didn't have any clean underwear in the bathroom. 'What the heck,' he thought. 'She's seen me naked before.'

As he went into his room, covering his private parts with one hand, he realized Jessica was awake. She watched him get dressed. He reached her one of his t-shirts. "You want to put this on for now? I made breakfast."

"Yes, thank you."

The shirt was too big on her, but he liked that most of her body down to her thighs was out of his sight. They sat down at the dining table where he poured her coffee and served her the scrambled eggs warm from the oven.

"You went out already?" she asked holding up the fresh croissant.

He nodded. "Went for a run." With Daniel still asleep, he pushed himself right into telling her the decision he had come to this morning. "We should get a divorce. All I'm asking for is equal access to Daniel. I'll write the condo over to your name too."

"But why?" Jessica cried out.

"I've got to set you free. You're dating another man. Daniel is confused. I thinks it's best if me make a clean cut and set ground rules that our son can comprehend. At least a little bit."

She shook her head vigorously. "I will never agree to a divorce. I don't want my child to have divorced parents. What do you plan? Are you going to start a new family and have him be the step brother?"

"I haven't told you," Titus said, "I got a vasectomy when Daniel was six weeks old."

Jessica started crying. Titus stood up and went for a box of tissues. He put it next to her. There was no reason for her to cry over his vasectomy. Whatever it meant to her, he didn't understand. He stood stupidly next to her. When she wouldn't stop crying, he put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay Jess. We don't have to get divorced if it upsets you. I don't have any other woman in my life. I just want you to be free and I want to be a dad."

Instead of calming her, his words made her even more anguished. She turned to him and gripped him around his waist. She was saying something, but it was all gibberish to him. Finally, he started making out sounds that resembled "my fault."

He grabbed her wrists and said, "Come to the bathroom with me."

She let him lead her to the bathroom where he washed her face with a warm rag. He pulled her into a tender hug. "What do you want to do? Tell me, Jessica. How do you think we can fix the mess we're in?"

"It's all my fault. You told me you didn't want a child. I went behind your back and got off the pill. I betrayed you, your trust, your love. And now …" She started crying again, but this time Titus stopped her before she could get carried away.

"Shush," he said. "It's all in the past. We've got the present to deal with. We've got a whole little boy to raise into a sensible man."
"Why did you get a vasectomy?"

Titus held her off some so he could speak to her face. "Is that some Catholic thing? 'Cause you know I don't do the Catholic thing. I'm happy if you do it with your family. Even okay with Daniel getting baptized and all that circus. But you're not going to make me think that getting a vasectomy is a bad thing." He smiled wide at her.

To his relief, she gave a shaky laugh. "I guess since you're a sinner and happy with it, it's not a problem for you to have a vasectomy."

"There you go."

"Titus," she said in a quiet voice.

"Yes?" he asked back in the same tone.

"You've changed."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Can't stay a kid forever. At thirty-two, it's about time I became a real man. Don't you think?"

Instead of using words, she put her head back against his chest. They stood like this until they heard a little voice from the hallway, "Mommy?"

They came out of the bathroom to find Daniel clutching his new 'teddy bear for nights at Daddy's house.' He was confused from waking up in an unfamiliar environment, but as soon as he saw Jessica, he felt comfortable. She took his free hand. "Come, Daddy made breakfast for us."

They sat down at the dining table again. Daniel ate his sandwiches and tried a corner of the croissant. He ate the crunchy tip, but left the soft parts.

Jessica's phone rang. She got it from her purse. It was Alex. "I'm still at Titus' house… Yes, I stayed the night… Yes, I think it was the right thing to do. Daniel asked me to. What kind of a mother would I be to abandon my son when he needs me?" He voice changed, it got sharp, similar to the tone Titus heard in her voice when she snapped at Alex the night before. "I'm not going to answer that question. That is none of your business! … I'll call you later." She clicked the phone off and gave it an irate look.

"What did he ask you?" Titus inquired.

She frowned angrily. "Something I don't want to repeat in front of Daniel."

Titus raised his eyebrows and said, "You have a talent at attracting jerks like me."

"He is nothing like you. Nothing. If anything, he's the complete opposite of you."

Titus grinned. The opposite of him? That, he would have to hear more about sometimes when Daniel wasn’t present. She caught his expression and said, "Oh, you!" But then, she laughed.

"Are you ready to go home?" Titus asked Daniel.

"Can I play with my new toys?" Daniel asked.

Titus turned to Jessica. "I don't know. Let's ask Mommy."

She smiled fondly at Daniel. "Of course we can stay longer." She reached to him and caressed his dark blond curls. Titus was struck by the purity of her love for this little boy. His mother never looked at him like this. He should be so lucky to get to experience the true love of a mother by watching Jessica deal with Daniel.

His guts radiated a strange sick feeling. To work through it, he started cleaning up the table. "Go ahead to his room. I'll be right there."