Can we talk?

Grieving

    It's almost a month since my brother was found dead, at home alone. He was 59. He had sleep apnea, and it finally did him in.
    Everyday I cry. I know now all the suffering he endured, quietly, and privately. I miss him. We have to change the way we shop and cook, since we had him over at least twice a week. Family celebrations won't be the same.
    I want to collect all his framed photos together and hang on a bare wall in the staircase as a tribute. I don't want to enshrine him, or make the other family members feel neglected. I just want a way to keep him with us.
      He was a good man, tender-hearted and kind, with a rough exterior. No one would call him sentimental or mushy. But in a way he was. He just had to hide that vulnerability.
      It's terrible that we don't realize how much a person is a part of the fabric of our lives until we lose him.
      If we made a movie of his life, like "It's A Wonderful Life", he would have been shocked to see how much influence he had on others, how so many lives would have turned out differently. So many people are better off, are more generous and kinder because he treated them generously and kindly.
      Brother, you will always live in my heart.