SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days

Highs and Lows

I had some real highs and lows today. I peaked with a walk off three-pointer that some say I shot from 25-feet out. It was a good moment, as I high-fived everyone on my team. We played well as a unit. Then, I had the misfortune of being paired with some guys who like to show their frustration. I confronted one of them and I did not feel good about it afterwards.

My goggles broke again and I feel this should be the last time I play until I have new and/or functional eyewear to help me compete without further risk to my eyes. I did, however, keep playing with my regular glasses after a brush from another opponent attempting to steal the ball flung my specs to the floor.

Friday is not a good day for me when there is so many young players, most home from college I suspect. They play high speed and are discriminating of who they share the ball with. Because I had my awkward moments with teams I did not mesh well with, I felt a bit left out and eventually uninterested in the game and didn't give my best effort. Even harder to do when I am using glasses I read with.

I am ending a lot of sentences on prepostions.

The walk off three was sweet because the guy guarding me had no idea I had that range. Everyone on my team knew we needed a three and I could see their eyes on me in wonderment if I would get open. That's a good feeling that inspired me. When I got the pass from original Dave (too many Daves but he's the first I met at the Y), I went up without hesitation fully knowing I would end the game and stroked a beautiful, long shot.

We couldn't team up again with so many people arriving and I got stuck with a mopey kid who bellowed when I turned the ball over trying to hit someone upcourt after I had committed myself to passing the ball and that option got covered up. I threw the ball into the opponents hands all day and surmised at the end it was because of the goggles and the fogging that was forcing me to miss shots wildly, as I lost more and more confidence with each play and each earful that I got.

I finally came unpinned and walked up to that kid in the hallway after that game, full of venom, and let him have it. He actually backed down and told me he was frustrated. I had started with, 'You know, you can be a dick sometimes!" I think I surprised him. Afterwards, I felt like apologizing for my outburst, though I think he understood. I did make my speech about taking a positive approach and supporting people out on the court. But, I contraDICKted myself by yelling at him after the game.

I do know how to support players out on the court, either persuading them not to get down on themselves or using positive reinforcement when they do something right. I just don't know how to deal with negative people, directing their comments toward me and others.

Young Mike got stuck on my team after that and we had some issues. Then, he wasn't on my team and trying to take advantage of me offensively and made a few good plays that I couldn't prevent. I forced him into more errors than he'd be willing to acknowledge. He isn't as confident with the ball as he should be and I take away the options he likes most and force him to make plays. When he does, he feels good about himself. It shows in his body language. But when he gets down, boy do his shoulders droop. His energy level just drops off.

It's just basketball everybody. So what if you don't win or have some bad plays? I kept trying even when I failed and had people on my back. Can't say that it didn't get me down and that I didn't give as much as I should. But I laugh and have fun instead of throwing a fit. Okay, I might still be contraDICKting myself. But it's just the negative people who get me down.

I really felt like God reminded me today not to get too cocky, though I was only making a joke after that walk off three. Someone asked what team won the last game so they would know if shirts or skins got the ball first in the following game. After someone called out 'shirts' I said to an older guy (Phil), who's very conversive, that I won the game. We chuckled. I knew I really hadn't. I didn't do much in that game, but did make a grand exit.

After that, I got stuck on some sucky teams. I was denied the ball mostly and had trouble making plays when I did get my touches. There were a lot of energetic and long players double teaming every possession and I managed as well as I thought I could. I just wasn't up to the level of competition on this day.

God reminded me that I need my teammates for those opportunities to shine. I don't hit a walk off three if they don't hit me with the pass and throwing all their trust in me with the ball and their vigilant, trusting eyes.

I fear I will have to take a break for awhile. My kids have less than two months before summer break. I don't like hauling them down to the Y, unless I really get the itch to play. I'll need more divine intervention before I can step out on that court and participate again. I could use some time off to recondition this body that needs more rest. Will I? I haven't done much likely and see no plans for the future.

My right leg wants to cramp up again. My left elbow has been good of late -- about 90% good with little discomfort when I grip the ball or bang my arm. I really need to drop the weight and tighten up my mid section, actually work out.

Committment. I lack that. If I really desire to impress these people and do things with the ball like I used to, I'm need to get in even better shape. I want to lose enough weight to help me bound higher, shake off defenders and drive to the hole. It would be nice to shock and awe them like I once did. I might be asking too much of myself.

Part of the problem has been my diet, but that's a story for another day.

Sorry for the tired language. Wanted to write this out. They all can't be gems.