Can we talk?

Season for short shorts and hot pants

Hot weather is here and so is the baring of skin. Not everyone who gets into short shorts should wear them in public, however. Even in hot weather, we should have some decorum and take a look in the mirror before we leave the house.

    First of all, anyone with dimples in the thighs should not be wearing short shorts except in the privacy of their own home or on the beach. Next, the shorts should fit and not be one or two sizes too small. That makes even small people look a little chubby when the tops of their thighs are bulging out from tight pants.

    The shorts should still be clean and pressed and be a proper style for the body type. Butt cheeks should not be showing when walking or bending over a little, the exception being at the beach or lake with a bathing suit underneath. Never at the Mall, or on Main Street, or at the hospital! It's not a sexy look. It looks like they're too short or too small. No one at WalMart wants to look at someone's bottom while shopping.

    And the legs should be ready for short shorts. Dry, cracked, scaly skin is unsightly and a turn-off. If there are bruises or rashes, one should wait until healing takes place before going out in sort pants. There's nothing wrong with pale, but hairy or scratched up or peeling just doesn't look good.

    As for age, on the beach anything goes. Doing your own yard work or on private property, no one can complain. But people past their prime should opt for longer shorts. Veins and wrinkles and age spots just aren't sexy, no matter how far you're willing to go!

  There is a time and place for short pants. That's all I'm saying. On the healthy, the young, the people who take care of their skin, there's a little more leeway. But church, shopping malls, government offices, business areas, we need to be a little more conservative.