Perpetual Ruminations

Tuesday

One of these days -- it's got to come to an end. Doesn't it? So many demands on my time, and so little time to do anything. And it keeps going and going, like a mutated Energizer Bunny.

I get a day off tomorrow, but I am so far behind my own shadow just lapped me. I have a ton of paperwork to get done, I need to contact some employment agencies and run an add in the local paper or something. We need one more person, but even as I fill that slot, I just know I will have another one come up.

It's been like this since April. I'm short two people right now, but we can do fine with just one more. Of course, we could get by with the ones we have if they all wanted to work a few more hours. But, they don't. They did start out as part-time, and that is what they desired.

So, one more person and I can start getting a few days off each week. But, one of the current guards is looking aggressively for a different job. I don't know why, and she isn't saying why. I know it's not because she isn't getting enough hours, she wants less now. It can't be because of her shift, she picked it. She likes the work, she seems happy with the position, but she keeps looking for something different.

As for me, well I'm now getting one day a week off. How long it will last, I can't say. But I do know it won't go for much longer without causing more problems. Also, if the above mentioned person does find something else, we will be in terrible shape trying to cover the hours she is working. I have to get somebody hired and trained soon.

Once we do, things should settle down and I should have more time again. But, that's been the same repeated story all spring and summer. Then, I get a new person hired, trained and set in their shift, only to lose another person and it all starts over again -- and again.

My day off? Well, I have a ton of stuff to catch up on for work, I have a ton of stuff to get caught up on for home, and I have a ton of things other people want from me. What it comes down to, is simply crushing beneath a few tons of demands, when all I want for myself is some quiet time to myself.

That's it, just some time to write, to read, to just reflect and recharge. Just some quiet time without having to worry about what needs to be done, or who is wanting what. Will I ever get caught up enough to get that? It's doubtful. There is one person in my life who kind of understands my need for time alone, but even she is needing some of my time.

Then, there are those who just think what they want, and of course, I should be eager to give it. I don't even begin to understand why they cannot comprehend my position. They know how busy I have been, how little time I have had, and how much I need a break from things. Yet, they are the first in line when I get off of work. They are the ones leaving messages and wanting to know when I will be able to cater to them.

If and when I get the opportunity to take some time off, I already know what my plans are. I would love to just stay home and relax, and spend some quality time with my wife. But, that would not work, there is too much that needs doing around here. Also, there would be people showing up, calling, and interrupting constantly.

"You say I should just tell them what I just told you? Yeah, right. No, you don't understand, you have nice people who are compassionate for others. I don't."

See, it's like this, a few years back, I told my brother it was our anniversary and Rhonda wanted to spend a quiet day, just the two of us, at home. She had it planned out, and all set up. I didn't think it was needed to include that she wanted some passionate time with me. Besides, what difference would it have made. I told them that we wanted to spend the day with just each other. I did add that she had plans for just the two of us, and didn't want anyone around.

They showed up shortly after noon. They stayed most of the afternoon. Why? Because they are just like that. They always have been just like that. If I want hot they will give cold, if I want alone, they will be right over, and if I don't want to be alone, they have plans, but maybe some other time.

No, when I get some time off, we will find a spot to camp, and not tell anyone anything. I won't even turn my phone on unless it's an emergency. It is the only way we can get away from everyone and have some time for us. I just hope I can also find a way to do the same here, in WDC.

This is something I enjoy and it is important to me. I have also told certain people this is how I like to spend my time. I like to be alone and I like to write. Sure, I enjoy doing some of the other stuff, too, if there is enough time for both. But there isn't. So, I tell them I want to take some time to write and instead, everyday they want to do this or that. Even to the point of just coming down to the house to do what ever.

Such is the day ahead. Wednesday is my only day off, and I have so much to do already. But, I was hoping to get up early and get as much of it done as possible, then have the afternoon to get the grass mowed, and the evening to myself. Nope, already someone is wanting to get together and do something. And, if I don't go, he will come, there is no escape.