Who do I still think I am??

This one's about overeverything.

30DBC PROMPT: "How much of yourself are you prepared to share in your blog? Or perhaps the better question is- what aren't you prepared to share in your blog?"

Howdy folks...sorry, had to take a few (forced) days off, but more on that later. I'll try to make up the lost ground in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  over the next couple of days, but I'm making no promises. Gotta say, while it felt kinda nice to not do anything WDC-related the last couple of days (I didn't even do so much as log in or check emails), it's good to be back and attempt some writing.

And what a better way to dive back in than blog about blogging? I'm totally ok with this concept, if only for personal reinforcements and reminders to myself, among other things.

Now, ya gotta keep in mind that what works for some may not work for others, and what I enjoy you might despise. But that's what makes us all the wonderful individuals we are, dig?

I'm probably an oversharer, or at least I think I am. I don't know if there's a topic out there that I won't touch (and if you want to call me out and say "On such-and-such a date, when the topic was 'x' and you didn't have an entry...", well, that doesn't mean I declined to discuss whatever it was that day...it just means that for whatever reason, I didn't write a blog entry that day). All blogging is to me is a different digital image of myself...my thoughts, my pictures, my opinions, all transferred and reimagined into words that are placed in front of you through the chicanery magic of the internet. It's another way of filtering how you see me.

I've told secrets and confessed sins. I've looked equal parts intelligent and idiotic. You've probably cheered and rolled your eyes when reading what I have to say...sometimes in the same entry. We've had some pretty good times up in here, to go along with some awkward moments, I'm sure. But there isn't likely to be anything I wouldn't share. Well, besides the PIN number for my ATM card...but if you're that interested in the nineteen cents I have in the bank, it's ****. Dammit...even when I try typing it here those stars come up. Must be the NSA's way of telling me I'm too much of a nuisance even to myself when it comes to information I allow to go into public domain from straight off the top of my head.

BCF PROMPT: "Overcomer. Reflect on this."

Four words, right? How hard can this be?

Harder than it looks, if only for the fact that while I can share practically anything, it doesn't mean I will (unless you start trying to get my blog drunk...once it starts running around with a lampshade on its dome while clutching a bottle of the hard stuff, be careful; that's when the real trouble starts).

I tend to get particularly defensive with the language when it comes to reflecting (for lack of a better term) on things I've personally had to overcome. I feel like it's almost as of I'm watching a special human-interest story on CBS' 60 Minutes that runs for the entire episode and feels like it's fifty-five minutes too long. Like the things I do are so dramatic anyway..."Man, I had to overcome the urge to spray the cheese right into my mouth instead of on the cracker" or "Today, I overcame the counter help's difficulty with the 'Murican lane-gwayge at the Mack-Donnels".

So I'm gonna do something other than what you may or may not know me for (and pick one; won't bother me either way), and I'm gonna think about what this prompt means to people other than myself. Like real "overcomers". (As a brief aside, I'm a little jealous that I never thought of the idea to use the word "overcomer" to describe a person before, like "Billy just shoved 18 marshmallows in his mouth...he's a real overcomer when it comes to his diabetes".)

The history of the world is filled with feel-good stories of how people have overcome one tragedy or improbable situation after another on the path to success as a regular human being. Truth is, the majority of people go for long stretches of a baseline marginal existence, with minimal ups and downs that are easily navigated. A much smaller percentage see unprecedented success, and a similar amount of po' folk people know what it's like when the lows get crazy low. In the end, all that's remembered of most people is that their lives are what they made of them. They're not defined by their riches nor their struggles, but how they helped or coped.

As for me, I don't consider myself an "overcomer". I'm an undergoer. Life constantly changes, and so are we even when we're not noticing it. It's not always where you end up but how well you adapt once you get there. I'm not an expert on this subject yet, but if I ever become one, remind me that I've been in one place way too long and it's time to find somewhere else to go.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Well, it's 12:30am, so I feel slightly better about bringing up the fact that I started addressing these prompts on September 11th, and we all know what this day in history has brought us. I'm not going to beat the same drum everyone else is regarding what it means, and I don't mean that in a minimizing kind of way. I will just point out that this particular album as a whole, when released in 2002, raised questions about its relevance to the day in question (although it was recorded and ready for release long before any tragedy occurred). All of the information you need to know is here on its Wikipedia page, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yankee_Hotel_Foxtrot, including this: "Though Yankee Hotel Foxtrot was recorded before the September 11, 2001 attacks, critics perceived references in the album to the attacks. For example, Jeff Gordinier of Entertainment Weekly compared the two towers of Marina City to the World Trade Center towers. Also containing similar themes are the songs 'War on War' and 'Ashes of American Flags' which contains the line 'I would like to salute the ashes of American flags.' The song 'Jesus, Etc.' also contains these lyrics: 'Tall buildings shake, Voices escape singing sad sad songs... Voices whine, Skyscrapers are scraping together, your voice is smoking.'" I still maintain YHF is one of the 10 greatest albums of all time, both sonically and lyrically. It prepared us in part for a post-9/11 world by reminding us that we need to write our future with notes from the past written in a different font.

Something about this time of year always makes me want to hear this album.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

4: Days since the meltdown the last time I tried to write a blog entry. I was unaware then that the worst was yet to come. Sunday I rendered my computer virtually useless for most of the afternoon and next day by trying to stream the Bills game from an, ahem, untrustworthy source (if you're desperate to see any kind of live sporting event and someone recommends First Row Sports, go ahead and throw your computer out of a moving train over a body of water). I wound up downloading what I thought were updates to Flash and Media Player and some other things, but it was all the crap that makes computers unresponsive. I still don't think I cleaned everything off the machine...I tried running "System Restore" a bunch of times, and every freakin' time my laptop started back up I basically got a box that said "Well, we tried, but we didn't fix anything because we think your anti-virus program is running, so stop that and we'll try it again". WTF?? First of all, I know it's bad form and all, but my Norton anti-virus protection is expired. Second, my computer says Windows Defender is turned off. After uninstalling everything that Windows says had been changed, I got the new and improved Windows notorious "blue screen of death 2013". Everyone remembers older computers and the "blue screen of death", right? Only this had a larger, modern font and, no bullshit, included a frown-ish emoticon of :( before stating "Oops, a problem has occurred with your system. Windows will need to restart." The not-so-awesome part? It happened about ten minutes after I'd gotten the audio of the Bills game to start streaming from a legit source, and it was in mid-word, which sounded like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs but for about ten times as long while my system took its sweet-ass time trying to figure out what to do on its way to restarting.

Once it restarted, it wouldn't recognize any Wi-Fi signal for about a half hour. None. Not the one I use, none of the neighboring private sites...nothin'. I finally managed to get connected, but wouldn't stay on for long stretches. And as Monday rolled around, it would "connect", but my internet status was "limited", which is just a fancy way of saying "you ain't got shit". And once that was finally resolved, I had audio but no video from web sources outside of YouTube. More cleansing, more attempts at restoring, more f-bombs, and more cute little vignettes from Windows later...still no better off from it. As of today everything seems ok, but I'm making no promises.

What have I really learned from this? That it takes about a minute to attract any kind of program that'll wreak havoc on your computer's registry, and 10-15 minutes for your computer to tell you it'll try to make things right, only it won't. Pretty cool. :/

And yet what's amazing about not having reliable internet this week on WDC is that I've managed to further prove my theory that you're loved more when you go away for awhile (as asinine and self-centered as that sounds...trust me, I don't mean it to be like that). And some blog entries just have a great set of legs...not mine, of course, but one in particular I'd read probably a week and a half ago (and was probably written long before that) was still gaining comments regarding its simple declaration and opinion that something a lot of people put their faith in doesn't actually exist. Astounding.

Someone convince me to get over myself, put on my big-boy pants, and make the call to go see a real doctor. I'm pretty much Ambien-dependent now...I've overcome all my sleep issues of the past by simply not sleeping at all! Ok, that's partially a lie, because I do sleep, but not without Ambien and a host of other pills, and I can't sleep if I take nothing. And my headaches and hand/eye coordination are still a problem, along with pain and stiffness in my hips and lower back. If I lie flat, my back feels like I'm laying on rocks the size of my hands (and I've got smallish hands, but that's not the point). I refuse to admit I'm falling apart.

All that, and I thought I had more to add. But I think I better post this and try to get outta here...I've already seen a flicker of white once while typing this, which means switching tabs might not be a recommended idea. Peace, I would like to salute...and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

*Fun fact! This video coincidentally had 1,776 views when I first watched it.