Perpetual Ruminations

Friday

It's late tonight, so I don't have a lot of time to write. I have to be up at three in the morning again, so I should be in bed already. But, I slept away most of the afternoon, then had to go pick up Rhonda after she was done work. We did a little shopping and grabbed a bite to eat, the came home. I happen to remember I needed to download my e-music before it rolls over, since credits do not carry forward, and now I'm in here.

I did take a nice nap this afternoon, after I got home form work. I've been completely wore out this week, after putting in two long days right at the start of the week. Sunday was my last day to work before getting two off, but it was a long day do to a blizzard. Also, do to the same storm, I had to work Monday instead of getting it off. That was bad enough, but I also had to pull a double shift. Since the storm would make driving slow, I was off by four int he morning and did not get home until six that night. I did get Tuesday off, but was up with Rhonda at eight. I don't know why she woke me, but she did.

Then it was back to work on Wednesday, so only the one day off, and that was a very trying day. So, I've been running on nothing most of the week. See, it was so bad driving home Sunday night that it took over an hour to make twenty five miles. I didn't get to bed until just after midnight, and was up at three. Monday night run later than I wanted, and I was not able to get to bed until about nine thirty, and then up at eight on Tuesday. Just not enough sleep. So, today I had Rhonda come in early -- to prevent me from going into overtime, and after I got home I settled in for a nap.

Knowing I was very tired and in need of some very restful sleep, I set the alarm just in case I didn't wake in time to go pick Rhonda up. See, on top of not getting enough sleep, I haven't been sleeping very sound, either. Possibly from being so tired, and from stress. So today, I snuggle in and closed my eyes, but sleep did not want to come. I got back up and snacked on a tangelo and then had a night cap, a small glass of sweet brandy to sooth my nerves and assist me in dropping off to sleep. It worked great, and I was soon lost in a dream.

Or, was it a nightmare. Not being night, I suppose it was just a bad dream. I was at work, and trying to get into the guardhouse, but I couldn't grip the handle on the door. I tried knocking, but there was no sound as I rapped on the door. I could see the person inside, and tried waving my arms, but they looked right past me. Eventually they came out and I slipped in while the door was open, but when I tried to handle any of the equipment, I could not get a hold of it. I couldn't understand why the current guard returned to the guardhouse, since I was suppose to be working, but since I couldn't do anything, I left while the door was open. I went across the yard to the back door of the store, and had to wait till a guest came out before I could slip in, again unable to grip the handle.

Once inside, I seen Rhonda talking to the managers, so I went over and talked to her, but she didn't seem to hear me or even notice me. None of them did. I followed Rhonda out and climbed in the vehicle when she opened the door. We drove across town and I continued to try and talk to her but she did not even know I was there. She was crying and so very sad, but I could do nothing for her. She stopped out in front of a funeral home and I again followed her in. There, inside were the people I work for, and they offered her comfort and together they went into the other room. I followed and walked up to the casket on display, and looking inside I was looking down at myself. Even as the reality of my death began to sink in, I heard my boss comment how I had not told anyone I was sick, and kept right on working, until I died on the site.

They turned and walked to the front room, and as I tried to follow, I felt myself fading into a fog. When it cleared, I was at work again, trying to get out of the guardhouse, but even when I did, I could not get far before I was again walking into the fog. When I came out I was again in the guardhouse; trapped for eternity at work!