Wondering about my Wanderings

family history

Prompt: Family History - Rip out a page from yours and share some a story or two.

When I was born my parents were fairly young. I needed to have a hernia removed a short time after. Mom and her mother were outside the hospital crying: "Poor Gary". I am very sure I was crying for other reasons. I believe that life is like that. We cry over the injustice and sufferings of others without really knowing what is going on in the hearts and minds of others involved. In a few short weeks I will head home to chaos. A lot of people are in tears and arguing among themselves about what is best for mom. What does mom want? Mom has had a couple strokes and a heart attack in the past year. She can barely talk. Unfortunately others want to speak her mind, as if she was an infant without an opinion.

When I was in grade school I was made fun of for being so slow compared to other kids in the class. My dad sat me down and asked me if I was the dumbest kid in the class.
"No there was another kid named Fred Benson who was having more trouble."
Family can be a kaleidoscope of different impressions. The most difficult road to travel is comparing one family member to another. I had strengths and weaknesses as I got older. I was not good at all in sports and did better than average in my studies. I left home no doubt to escape all the comparing. Now I see how I have become totally different from my siblings. I think it is sad that We will not be there for each other in major calamities such as sickness and death. We are not kids anymore. Mom is ill and that brings us together. I am the oldest and that brings with it the idea of others wanting to do for mom what I can not do, because I am so far away. I will go back to see mom and the reality is that whatever impact I have or do not have is something they will be left with when I go back to Kansas City. I wonder if family ever becomes whole. I am guessing not in this life, maybe in the world to come.