Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about forgetting, DIY, and fear.

30DBC PROMPT: "Who says I am forgetting this?"

What up blog fam? Are you just as confused as I am about the July 29th-31st serial prompts? Good...glad to know I'm not alone.

For as long as I've been involved with the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , I've hated the serial portion. And if there's one thing worse than that, it's having to stretch out a directionless topic for three whole days. Please, oh please, 30DBC Creator/Founder , please tell us there will be more to this tomorrow!

This is actually kinda good though, because I'm gonna take this opportunity today to tie in with Blog City's prompt...

"What are you afraid of? All of us at one point in our life has feared something, how did you handle it? Please discuss a topic that you have not previously shared. Dig deep."

It might sound petty and trivial, but I have a tremendous fear of forgetting important stuff. I'm far from what one would consider someone else "absent minded", but it's the stuff that you forget that always seems to come back to haunt you the most. The worst feeling is the realization that you've let something slip; a meeting, a doctor's appointment, an errand. Something you can't easily get back. That time is gone; the opportunity expired.

I'm constantly writing things down because I can't keep track of everything the way I used to, and I don't wanna fuck myself by missing something important because oh yeah, I'll remember. No, no I will not. And that's no way to live when you're used to being on the ball about everything. I feel like I'm a slave to my little pocket calendar some days, but it beats waking up and finding out you're a day late for something...especially when "a day late" means "nope, not ever again, sucka".

And I hate having to be accountable for things...it seems like there's never enough hours in a day once you have to be an adult and start managing your affairs. Life's easy when all you have to do is get up and go to work. I can't imagine having kids to look after as well. My pocket calendar might turn into an entire pair of pants if I were responsible for someone else's life on top of my own...either that, or I'd forget so much more. Right now I'm dealing with work and trying to go back to school, plus my therapist and making sure I've got all the little things normally taken for granted...I honestly don't know how some people can function having to do 36 billion other things in a given day. Good on 'em, I guess. I was blessed with the gene of potentially being overwhelmed easily.

So in summary, I hate forgetting things, I have no clue what this month's 30DBC serial thing is all about, and...oh yeah...fear. Fear is bad. Live life with minimal fears, and you'll be happier. Avoid the unnecessary, even if that means eye contact and smiling at strangers. The blinders stay on. Less time with people is usually better as long as I have decent enough distractions. As long as I'm in full control of the situations I find myself in, I have nothing to fear but myself.

BCF PROMPT: "Describe the most ambitious DIY project you've ever taken on."

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'm a bad finisher. I don't like to start projects because if I can't finish them right away, they'll never get done. I hate that about myself. You can get me to commit to something, and I'm all-in from the get-go, but if it's not complete by the time I'm ready to move on to something else, well, I don't have a timetable for its eventual readiness. I'm sorry, but that's how I work.

I also have the tendency to turn things into projects unnecessarily, which doesn't always work out in my favor. I'm like the government; I can't just do something...there has to be a reason, a plan, supplies, mandatory breaks, and lots of wasted resources. I can turn the simplest of tasks into an all-day extravaganza if need be. It's regrettable. And it's probably one of the kajillion reasons why at almost 39 I'm still single, and will be from here on out.

But I guess I can hang my hat on organization. I'd rather be meticulous and take time to get things right than having to go back and adjust focus, redoubling efforts. Wasted steps are the bane of my existence...of course, that could explain why I also tend to cut and run occasionally.

Back when my cd collection was near 800, that shit was pristine. The jewel boxes were arranged alphabetically on a large shelf, but the cds themselves were in binders according to genre. Hip hop, emo, classic rock, grunge, local bands, British rock, techno, and everything else that didn't fit. And everything was great until I'd buy a new cd...which turned into a nightmare of reorganization that required at least an entire afternoon of resorting, because you gotta keep one band's music together, and next to a similar artist, but if a page in the book only holds four discs and there's five then you've gotta do some rearranging and aaaaarrrrghhhhhh!!! My OCD goes into shutdown mode then.

What made it worse is was when DMFM would come over, and he'd want to hear "Dave-friendly" music. Yeah bro, go on, look through the collection, but put everything back where you found it. By the end of the night there'd be a stack of cds all outta place. Great times with a great dude...but that's a mess I had to avoid because of my nit-pickiness.

So I often don't start things unless I know I'm gonna finish them right away, and that's followed me long throughout this life. That works for me as far as almost anything goes, including relationships. If there's no promise of a sustained, happy life together, why waste both of our time? If we're just ships passing, then it's just that and there's no need to go through the charade of familiarization. Honk and wave; that's cool. No time for emotional docking where the future is fleeting and non-existent.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I will remember to remember to forget you forgot me.

Lyrics.  

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Wow...I kinda don't know what to do here since I fronted on the 30DBC prompt with "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" 's joint. I guess I got used to livin' in a shack down by BC's river for awhile.

Y'all are some 50 Shades fans, right? According to my demographics, y'all are some middle-aged, sexually deprived and/or deviant types, but hey, what do I or WDC really know about you? Nobody's passing judgement here. This is pretty great though...If 50 Shades Of Grey Was Written By A Man  .

Because selfies are usually atrocious, knock yourself out with 14 Selfies Drawn By Other People  .

And then for my boy Charlie ~ , as well as Future Mrs. B , amazingsauce is dripping all over this link about grunge bands getting the 16-bit treatment  .

And with that, I'm out. I've had enough of today. Peace, I'm gonna look out the window, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!