Wondering about my Wanderings

Ouch!!!!

I made it through tomorrow and look forward to today. I have so many yucky feelings all stuffed up inside. Mom is doing s***ty and make me want to take some of that and give it to people that do now seem to care about what is going on with her. I find myself wanting to send darts toward my ex who was with me nineteen years and is in her own little world. I guess divorce really does mean that you ex out everybody related. It hurts more that my kids seem oblivious to what is going on with mom even though she treated them well when they were with her.

I think the bottom line is that it hurts to see mom leaving. I am having trouble letting go. I think she is too. I have meditated on the fact that death is intensely personal. There is so much that is going on that means a lot to me. Others are puzzled about what to say or do. I have talked with counselors and they have told me to keep the boundaries clear. It is just about mom and me. That is what I am trying to do. It is damn difficult. Does anyone out there feel the same way.