Wondering about my Wanderings

I am blessed

I am blessed in so many ways. Lately God has been sharing with me that I need to be good to myself. I have been working overtime at Sprint lately. Just when I think I am too tired, I find an inner reserve to stretch a little more. My biggest problem is myself. I tend to beat myself up and sabotage my own efforts to have hope. Yesterday was no different. I was going snail pace, no more than two or three miles per hour in my car. For whatever reason I shifted into neutral and from there into reverse. For the longest time I felt like the end of the world had come. I then recalled that this had happened before and I was going quite a bit faster. It was taken into the shop and they said that nothing was wrong with the transmission even if I thought there was. I was very tired when this happened. The whole security campus was tired. We have been working overtime for at least three weeks with no stoppage. God told me that I did not need to turn myself in as a common criminal. I wondered how this could be so. Then I researched over and over when I got home and discovered that a lot of people did the same thing I did. The answer given by the mechanical expert was to not worry. Everything is going to be okay.

I guess I am taking baby steps toward forgiving myself and determining not to beat myself up. God loves me. That means God loves all of me, even the parts of myself that to me are less than perfect. Writing is very good therapy. It helps me get through torrential rain falls that threaten to beat me down. I am deciding to see all that happen as showers of blessing. God is good.