Random Musings

Looking back and forward

These questions are big ones for me, and ones I've actually been considering a great deal as of late. And even more appropriate given the closing of 2014 today. I'm going ahead and combining these two into one (probably very long) entry, because today is New Years Eve, and it's appropriate to look back as well as forward. I've also been considering the second question a great deal as of late, but answering the second question automatically has me answering the first.. so might as well combine.


Week 54 / Prompt 6 -  What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome in 2014?

This one is easy - obviously this is the divorce. It started formally at the beginning of this year in January, took several months to get through, and more months to get past. if there is one thing that describes 2014 it is that divorce. In other blogs I've dealt a lot with the gritty details of the divorce, so I don't wish to delve into all of it here, but rather more in the abstract. I had been with my husband for near ten years by the time we split. Not all of that married, of course, but still considering him my SO. That was a solid third of my life to this stage. Part of what drifted us apart was the very act of growing older. We became different people than who we were when we first met. And while some couples can accept the differences and grow together, we did not. There were too many distractions, 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' items, that inevitably led to our separation.

But this created a serious opportunity for me to discover who I am at this stage in my life, or rather who I have become. I am not the same person I was, and I needed to determine exactly what I had become. And the entire episode allowed for me to become a much stronger person. I discovered that I am capable of being alone. I am capable of doing things myself. I do not need someone if I do not want them. I am actually a much better person - much happier, friendlier, prettier - now that I do not have him at my side. My life is looking much better now that I have cleared the chafe from my world.

Goodbye to my ex, and to those years lost while I was with you.  Thank you for putting me through the tribulations you did, as I have emerged a stronger more beautiful woman because of it. But now, I no longer need you, and am a better person without you.


Week 54 / Prompt 4 -  Where do you want to be in five years? (personally, professionally, health, education, family, friends etc.)

This is the question I really wanted to delve into. It's something I've been considering a lot over the past six months, as my life took a major change for a new direction. I've considered a lot of avenues for myself and where I want to go.  And here is a great chance to lay it all out.

In five years, I want to be re-married. I've thought about this seriously, following my divorce. Do I really need a husband? In some ways, yes. I am capable of being alone. But I don't really want to be. This goes hand in hand with the next big thing that I want to accomplish in five years - that I want to have at least one (probably 2) children. And this is Really big for me. All throughout my marriage with my ex-husband, we never wanted children. We couldn't afford them, and our lifestyles just didn't support having one. He didn't make much money, I was barely making enough to support us. We traveled on the weekends to see friends and do activities a Lot. And we weren't really good parent-making material together. We fought a lot. We had animals, and that was enough. But I have since felt my biological clock start ticking after I met my current boyfriend. I do want kids. I now know I do. And i've only got so many years left before that becomes difficult to do. So yeah.. within five years.. i want to be married and have a kid or two. Oh, and living in a nice house :)

I want to still have my job with my current company. I like my job. I like my company. I like the people I work with. I want to keep it. I'd like a few raises.. but doesn't everyone? Honestly, at this point, I like stability, and I think I have that here (i've been here almost 2 years now).

Healthwise, I'd like to keep my semi-healthy state I'm in. I'm watching my health a bit more, but I'm not too concerned about it yet. I have a feeling within five years, it will be something I will need to be watching more closely. I'd like to have gotten a handle on my IBS, had it looked at a little bit closer and judge exactly what works for keeping it under control. I'd like to have habitualized the practice of taking whatever medicines/vitamins i need to to keep my health up to par. And I'd like to generally keep myself at the weight (or a little under) where I'm at right now.

I'd like to have established myself as an author within five years. This is my new big goal. I want to have finished my first book, possibly written my second, and sent at least one or two manuscripts off to publishers. Within five years - I think I should be able to accomplish that.

All of that should be doable, I should think.