Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about form letters and the Spearmissile.

"Copy and paste the following letter in an email, then send it to a Writing.com aquaintence, who is NOT in this competition. Wait for a reply to your email, then share your reply and your blog entry with us."

Peace y'all...I know I threw some fanatics under my bus last night, proclaiming missives like "you hurt me" and "I'm not gonna blog on Maggie's farm no more!". The truth is...don't speak out of blind anger, and even though prompts might suck and aren't fitting, that doesn't men you have to be a dick about it. Lessons learned.

So Brother Nature basically gave us a form letter to send out to people who aren't in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , and his voyeuristic ass wants to see the responses. So like a good little complyer, I sent this to Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm , pinkbarbie, and the man-missile himself, Joel:

Hello Friend

I'm participating in a unique blogging contest in the 30 Day Blogging Challenge Group on Writing.com. It's an elimination style, fundraising blog competition, and I need your help. During the competition we are provided with daily prompts which we then write our blog entries in response to.

Today we are required to solicit a writing prompt from one our acquaintances, who is not a part of this competition, and I selected you.

Would you be so kind as to provide me with today's writing prompt? It can be anything you would like to write; a question; a challenge; you can ask me to write a poem or a short story; whatever you want, as long as it is family friendly.

If you can do this as soon as possible it would be appreciated. I have to submit my blog entry on February 6, 2015, but before February 7, 2015. The sooner I get your reply, the more time I'll have to write my blog entry.

It would be great if you can visit my blog and read my response to your prompt. I may even get extra credit if you leave a comment on my blog entry.

Thank you very much.
I'm excitedly awaiting your reply

I haven't gotten a response yet and I don't care. I'll write this on my terms, not anyone else's. You can take that to your church and pray upon me being a better human being, but your desired outcome is as unlikely as me giving a good goddamn one way or the other.

I'm not gonna sit idly waiting for a response...life doesn't move on my whims. If anything, maybe someday I'll be more patient, but that's also highly unlikely. I want now and more and faster...but I'm holding the wheel, so bang your keys at me when you can, I guess. You'll miss it when it's gone.

"I'm going easy on ya this time. Make a list of 15 things/elements of your favorite television program and place them in italics in your blog as part of your conversation with us. Don't tell us the name of the show but you can include locations, common phrases used in the show. Let's see how many of us can guess correctly. Kind of like playing charades but blog style."

I straight up told Lyn's a sly fox that I thought 15 was too much. And it is. Y'all know I don't watch a shit-ton of tv, but the shows I care about are desperately funny. They should be watched over and over, just in case you missed an awkward reference.

Arrested Development is my show. I can't sum it up in fifteen clues...like the Beastie Boys "Paul's Boutique" album, the references make no sense unless you actually start paying attention. No touching!   Where is Mitchopolis to back me up on this?

But anyway, I don't have the patience or wherewithal to make you play guessing games. It's not in my nature. I'll tell you what, and tell you why or why not, and that's how it goes when I write the blog that makes my world go 'round. (Barry Manilow not included.)

"Let's have some simple fun...pretend an alien or maybe Brother Nature (Joel) visited your home. What would you want the alien or Joel to see in your world that might impress him? Let's hear what you have in mind."

Joel wouldn't be too far from home here in Cortland...we have mountains of snow and plenty of people who don't give a good goddamn about anything other than themselves.

I don't care to think about whether or not aliens exist. You're asking me to believe in some weird fallacy, or maybe Brother Nature dropping his Canadian self at my door. I'll take my chances on the Spearmissile, thank you, because fuck aliens and their weirdness and their false propaganda. Crop circles my ass...Joel is 168x more believable than some shady government report asking us to believe them over randomly disputed pictures. Aliens.

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Time for me to change things up in my 2015 "The Soundtrack of Your Life"  playlist.

Y'all might know The Roots from their ongoing stint as the house band on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show . But before that they were a critically acclaimed hip hop act that featured live musicianship. They had, and still have, the chops to blow your mind back to whatever day it was when you think about or say "Back in the day...".

"Rock You" is a hard-ass cut, born from the idea that we can all be supreme in doing what we belive in the most. I miss my Roots cds...for some reason my ex kept a bunch of my music, even the stuff she didn't listen to or like.

"Yo y'all savages is primitive...
I'm true penmanship."
Lyrics.  

I totally forgot to mention this yesterday, but happy 81st birthday to the legendary Don Cherry  . He's a friggin' icon...as righteous as they come.

Lest you forget where my heart will truly forever stay, I present to you more reasons to love Buffalo   that I shouldn't need to keep explaining. They're wings, dammit...not "buffalo wings" or "chicken wings". They're wings. If that's not suitable for you, I suggest you please STFU and keep my wings out of your whore mouth.

I did actually receive a response today from Joel's form letter. From pinkbarbie : "Hi Norb, You shouldn't hate to do this. I appreciate and would love to give my prompt. Here it is: People usually find it funny when I (Aisha) tell them I'd rather watch cartoons and sci-fi movies and superhero movies that lie a lot to me. But I say that I watch to be entertained and laugh, so I don't see why I'd watch an emotional movie instead of my fake movies and silly cartoons. What are your thoughts about this? Feel free to share what you watch and why."

Very thoughtful take, Aisha. I wish I could expound on this, because I too care more about cartoons than most people (superheroes or not). But I'm running low on patience and the will to keep typing.

I also received a response from Joel, but only because I wanted to spite him for prompting us without a real prompt. In true BN fashion, he got back to me with a prompt...that I won't use, because I've already started this entry and once I get going, I don't stop.

So there it is y'all...another entry in the book of me. Please be gentle. Peace, in a real strange way, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!