Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about stuff, stuff, and more stuff.

"Blog prompt for February 13, 2015"  

'Sup y'all? Can I just tell you how unmotivated I am feeling right now? This is why I don't like doing anything after I eat dinner...nothing feels good. It's not even like I overate- well, maybe according to some nutritional standards, I did- but even as soon as a few minutes ago, I was debating on getting up and reaching for the M&M's because fatty over here can't stop putting things in his be-bearded mouth. I need a chocolate intervention, and I'm not saying that as a cry for help one day before Valentine's Day.

Anyway, so we've got these prompts today, and I don't know what to make of them...which would probably still be the case even if I hadn't eaten myself stupid (I'm not kidding...that's an actual thing in my body. When I feel too full, I can't concentrate on anything else and I honestly feel like the dumbest kid penetrating your zip code). [Pro tip: If you're unsure that you've properly spelled "penetrating" and are unable to trust your tablet's spell-check, don't Google it just to be sure. And if you do Google it, don't scroll down to the images.]

Here's the rundown of Brother Nature 's prompt for today: "Write about your job, or your hobby, or another favorite pastime, BUT make up new words to describe what it is you're doing. Challenge your readers to guess what you're talking about in your comments section. If you'd rather- try this little exercise which is sure to be funny. Rewrite this well known verse using nonsensical words <hum "Mary Had A Little Lamb" to yourself>. The more outrageous the funnier."

Well, not to be a party pooper, but I'm having none of that right now. I'm absolutely not into the whole "guessing game" bit tonight, nor am I really up to shredding Mother Goose rhymes like I'm some kind of mad satirical genius. I'm trying to convince myself to change my own mind, but some of y'all know what it's like dealing with toddlers...  .

Maybe though, I can dispense with a limerick just to kill some time before I take out the other prompts. There aren't many rules in limericking, are there? (Considering "limericking" isn't a word, we're off to a fine start.)

There once was a brother named Joel,
who was worth his own weight in gold.
         The folks in his town
         tried melting him down,
but gave up because people don't melt, they burn...and that's not a very nice thing to do, especially to someone who has a very unique kind of soul. And stuff.

Well, whaddya know? I can write a fancy-fangled type of poem!

"Friday the 13th, also known as Black Friday in some countries, is considered an unlucky day in Western superstition. What's your take? Inspire me with your creativity or take the non-prompt option."

Welp, in my jurisdiction of Western civilization, there is only one "Black Friday", and that's the day after Thanksgiving. For those who've spent time in retail hell, let's not go there...it's still February, for chrissakes.

And I won't go as far as saying I'm superstitious, but...  ok, maybe I am a little. More like a cross between OCD and creature of habit. Like a double-cross. A filthy, evil double-cross. Only, one that also triple-checks his alarm because he's paranoid of oversleeping, yet he'll hit the snooze button at least four times before getting out of bed.

Isn't that what OCD is in a nutshell, anyway? Creatures of habit to the extreme and excessive paranoia? I don't think I'm that bad...I'm not clinical about it or anything. Quirky, yeah...but we've all got our somethings. Maybe others who've been around me more can tell you differently, because how do I know I'm not OCD about certain things when there's no one else around to point this shit out to me? Wow...it just hit me that I could be fucked if and when I choose to start socializing again. Being a hermit tends to disguise one's bad habits...I may need a finishing school for grown men or something, just to relearn common courtesies and gentlemanly behavior that is also socially acceptable.

And none of that has anything to do with Friday the 13th. Personally, I'm not a fan of this particular day because yeah, some people buy into the whole "unlucky number 13" business and I'm not sayin' I do, but there's a reason enough people get sufficiently hacked off at the idea of being spooked by anything 13-ish so much that it's become quite the actual thing in our society that it has. Like, I'm really surprised Hallmark hasn't jumped all over this and started pushin' special "Friday The 13th" greeting cards. "Honey, don't forget to go to the store and pick up the cake for today! It's Friday the 13th, remember?" It's probably just a matter of time.

I think if anything I'm more skeptical than superstitious...and I'm definitely more cynical. Like, I don't believe in anything anymore, and I'm not the least bit concerned about it nor afraid to not do anything about it. Whatever. If lightning's gonna strike me because a black cat walked in front of me while I was under a ladder holding a broken mirror, so be it...bad things can happen to anyone just about anywhere, and within split seconds and millimeters of fortune, fame, and glory. To be able to find the balance between good and bad might really be the true definition of "being lucky".

"Let's talk~ What do you think you do well that others cannot master? What motivated you to be so awesome at this? (I don't know about you but it makes me think of when I got older my mother got wiser.)"

Oh boy...I was chattin' up Lyn's a sly fox when this prompt came through last night, and I told her I'm not good with these kinds of questions. I never know how to answer them, mainly because I don't think there's anything that I think I'm specifically better at than anyone else. It's not bein' humble if you can't back it up, or somethin' like that .

No, really. Ain't a damn thing I can think of that I know I can say with 100% certainty I'm a master of. Or even 95% sure. 90% is kinda pushin' it, because 9 out of 10 at anything in my opinion doesn't make you a master, but I guess that's subjective.

I guess this is where I get on my tired soapbox every time I'm asked a question like this and I rehash the same ol' "really, I'm no better than anyone else" diatribes I feel most comfortable stickin' with. After all, as long as you're telling the truth, no one can prove you wrong.

"The Soundtrack of Your Life" 

One band I've always kinda been disappointed about their breakup is Soul Coughing. They were really unique sounding...a heavy, plucky bassline, almost hip-hoppish drums, and the abstractly poetic lyrics of Mike Doughty.

"4 Out Of 5" comes across as fairly simple (as do most Soul Coughing songs), but as is often the case there is more under the surface. It's easy to dismiss this song as being about sex, when others believe it leans more toward rejection. I think it's hard to say, but I'm more inclined to believe it's the latter and not the former.

You know what I said in the BCOF portion of this entry, about 9/10ths not being enough to be a master? Sometimes, however, 4/5ths is all you need. Sometimes, it's enough. Sometimes, it has to be enough. It can be enough to change your course in anything throughout your lifetime. It can also be just what you need to get by. It's not always about winning the race...it's about making sure who (or what) you're running against knows you're there.

I may not always be a champion, but dammit when all is said and done, you'll know I made my mark.

"I come recommended by four out of five;
I'm a factor in the whole plan."
Lyrics and interpretations.  

As some of you know, I use Twitter once in awhile (@fivesixer if you think someday I might have the potential to use Twitter for something more reasonable than bitching about football games), but I always miss the cool stuff you see mentioned on the news and spread around in a gossip-like wildfire (otherwise known colloquially now as "trending")...and by "cool stuff" I mean "someone talkin' smack, and someone else bringin' the strong comeback game to shut down the haters", or somethin' like that. Luckily, there are ways to see who has the best smack repellant   on the internet these days.

Ok, I don't care what you guys say, but this bit about city kids goin' on nature hikes for the first time   was the funniest thing I've seen on the internet in a long time (especially #8 and #9). It reminded me of when I was a kid in Boy Scouts, and sometimes we would take hikes...only they weren't always in parks or in nature. I remember a couple of them being walks around one of our neighborhoods and getting credit for that being "a hike". Never let anyone tell you the kids of today are "spoiled" and "have it so easy"...we had it easy first.

Finally, a precursor to what I'm sure will be a rollickingly fabulous entry tomorrow...all of these things   make me very happy I'm not faced with the pressures of trying to impress anyone for Valentine's Day this year. Just the fact that I have to ask "What the hell is a McDonald's Chicken Burger?" should tell you all you need to know if you're wondering if you're doing enough for your special someone. [Pro tip: Guys, it's never enough. Ladies, if you're at least in a semi-state of nakedness and there's plenty of beer, you're doing something right.]

Ok, well, like you I too have other things to do, so if you don't mind (and you know I don't mind one way or the other if you mind) I'm gonna go right ahead and do those things. Peace, quantify my luck, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

Yup...nailed it.