MY NEWBIE IS SHOWING

Day 6: Potty/Poopy Mouth Alert

Funny Friday!





The "How To" article is a staple of popular magazines. We don't always need informative-yet-boring "How To" articles...what we sometimes need is "How NOT To" advice. Try to make us laugh and tell us a good way of not doing something.





You will now learn how to not follow somewhat seemingly simple instructions….pay attention.


I thought I had seen it all. I sorted mail yesterday and there was a white bubble envelope from a company that I did not recognize. I thought the boss ordered something or that it was a premium gift for a magazine order or something like that.


It turned out to be a bag of s***. I don’t know that it was real s***, but it looked like it.


Now boss is mad. I’m mad. And the investigation has begun into Poopapalooza, Inc. I told him that it had to be from someone who has disposable income, because no one spends $50 on something the other person is going to throw away unless they had that money to throw away. I named the two people who had it in for him.


So the mailman comes in today and we want him to file the report. His response: "I don’t do that s***." "I’m not taking that s*** back to the post office." But he did give us the number for the postal inspector. As he’s leaving he is saying: "I hope you don’t get more s*** like that." Geez, every time he opened his mouth the word s*** was coming out.


Then the bookkeeper came in. We were chatting with her and boss casually asked me to get that package we got yesterday so he can show it to the bookkeeper. I spazed out. I just kept repeating over and over. I’m not going to show her, you show her. That with my hands flying over making the universally recognized icky poo gesture, it was a sight that’s for sure. And we all finally got to laugh because I looked like a total spaz with the way I was acting and the way my face got contorted.


For anyone who is having a feud and you have some money to burn … poopsenders.com. Trust me, it’s a real website, selling real stuff – you just went and checked didn’t you?


They say they guarantee anonymity. They put a card in the poop bag so that you have to open the bag to see who sent it. But what happens if you actually open the bag? No one wants to find out.


So…if you were paying attention, what did you learn not to do?