Everyday Canvas

What If I Were in the Production of…Movies

Prompt: You are chosen to be part of a movie production. You can't be a writer for the movie. What is your job? Producer, Actor, Director or what?

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What? I can’t be a writer? Now, that’s a low blow. If I can’t be a writer, I might just go jump in the lake. I guess this restriction also rules out the writer’s assistant jobs.

So let’s see what I could possibly do. Webcaster is out. I can barely wrap my mind around what streaming video is, and I think what I am doing here in WdC and in FB is more than enough webcasting for me on the internet. This negative also takes care of all web jobs such as the web developer and other web blah blah.

I might be able to work with the wardrobe people, but they’d only give me mending jobs, so that’s out, too. I don’t like mending, unless absolutely necessary. Voiceover, visual effects, videographer, videotape operator, video playback, video engineer and video editor jobs also require a head for electronics and technical stuff. My head to them would be as helpful as the huge stone heads at Easter Island.

Accounting anything, forget it, I’m not messing with finances to be blamed for one thing or another, especially for putting the movie company in arrears, later on.

I guess stunts dept. is open, but I could only do that if they need a clown who botches up the scene and gets herself hurt.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with those jobs of executive anything, producer anything, editor anything, or engineer anything, which eliminates just about everything.

Except the set…Yes, that’s it! I can work in the set-decorating department as a set painter or something, since I have some experience and a couple of certificates in art.

Better yet, why not get paid as a viewer-person among the first trial-target audience to see the movie and offer my opinions on it? Oh no, on second thought, this, too, might backfire, since I hardly ever like any movie I see. My criticism would be so acerbic that no movie would ever make it to the theaters.

In which case, I think I’ll remain sticking my hands into the paint cans or possibly wearing the paint cans on my head where this production biz is concerned..