Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about my voice and a super-duper hero of things.

"Do you find yourself modeling your writing style after your favorite authors? How do we create our own unique voice?"

Hey y'all! It's been a hot minute since I wrote an entry that I'll actually post (Spoiler Alert: I wrote one a few weeks ago that won't see the light of day because, well, that's how I feel about it and this is my blog, so my rules and whatnot)...but I've been lurking behind the scenes and trying to stay upright and busy. And when I say "upright", I'm not kidding...my antidepressant meds make me wanna enjoy life more from a nauseous position while laying face-up with my head elevated. Some might call it "comfortable"; I say nae- the desired outcome is far from the expectations and exceeds the preferred limits of side effects.

But anyway, I feel fit enough to rejoin- at least for today- the writing community. And I like this prompt...I've liked a lot of prompts the last few weeks, but once you slip off the blog grid for awhile it's hard to jump back in. I've probably said that a bunch of times before, but you'll have that with me.

There are a bunch of ways to approach this particular prompt. For me, there are two aspects at play: 1) Not wanting to rip off my favorite writers; and 2) Writing from the voice inside my head.

Number one is obvious...if you and I are mutual fans of the same authors, you'd know immediately if I was biting their style. I'm very conscious about that. There are writers I respect and admire, but having done this for so long, to mimic or ape their techniques would be an injustice both to them, and to the people who read me. When I first joined WDC, a woman took me on as a sponsor and quickly got me promoted to Preferred (yellow case) and compared my poetry to Bob Dylan...and at that point I hadn't listened to much of his music, so I was kind of surprised. I just wrote whatever was in my head at the time, and I was fortunate enough to find a place to post it online. I wasn't trying to be anyone else besides the person who filled up notebooks with his heart, blood, and feelings. It'll take me a lot to admit in that respect that I've done fairly well for myself.

And that leads me to number two. I may have also said this countless times, but I write as if you and I are havin' a conversation. You're asking me via prompt, and I answer. It sounds pretty simple. This is how I'd talk if I had an extra second to think before I speak, with the added bonus of a backspace key in case I botch something up. That's how this goes; that's all of what I know...when I started writing as a teenager, I didn't have many literary influences. I wrote down the thoughts bouncing around in my head. It was purely a release. And now, being older and having been exposed to different styles and abilities, it's almost harder to shut out other voices I agree with or feel kindred to. I have to dig further down within myself...peel the layers of the onion skin off, so to speak, so I can get to whatever it is I want to talk about.

I used to have a wild fancy that someday kids would study my poems in their English classes the way I was educated and forced to study some of the greats in literature. "Open your textbooks to "Cabin Fever" , class..." (shameless plug). I don't think I sound like anyone else but me. And I don't want to. Anything can be coincidental, and I'm aware of that...but my poetry, and my blog, are both in my voice. You could call me up on the phone and ask me the prompt, and what you hear in response is probably what I'd type out...save for a few ummms, ahhhhs, and some dead air space.

"Put on a cape and declare yourself the super-duper hero of something...properly conjugated verbs, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, run-on sentences, maybe the best photographer...whatever sweet place you are ready or not ready to claim as yours. Tell us all about it! Shape yourself or shake yourself into this new role... I have faith in your abilities."

With all due respect, I am far from a hero at anything. I'm guilty of thinking too much before I react, which makes me a bad candidate in emergency situations. And when I do react first, it's usually the wrong instinct that takes precedence. <insert something here about karma and bad decisions>

The truth is...I'm not great at anything. I'm really good at a lot of things- stuff of little importance- but I'm past the time of me thinking I could be the apex of something substantial. I still try to do well at whatever I get myself into, but I'm very selective about it now (almost to a fault) and I'm well-versed in adjusting to when things don't work out the way I thought they might. It's not a skill so much as it's just survival on the barest terms.

I've been through a lot...whether it was brought upon myself or not, it doesn't matter. Rarely do I ever complain about it, and I won't start now. At the end of the day, it's my head on the pillow and my thoughts circling around inside. I guess my superpower is living, when everything else I've touched has gone away.

Haven't heard this song in awhile...when I was in 3rd or 4th grade I had a folder that was the Synchronicity album cover, and it was the coolest thing I owned at that point in life. And to this day, I feel kinda like this.

"There's a little black spot on the sun today...
It's the same old thing as yesterday."
Lyrics.  

I haven't been totally inert lately...I did write a piece for the upcoming issue of The Blogging Bliss that centers around May being Mental Health Awareness Month  , and I contributed a new poem to Lyn's a sly fox 's "Love Shouldn't Hurt Poetry Contest"  ("Trojan Horse" ). I don't much enter contests anymore, but this one is kinda close to my heart for certain reasons and I hope you'll check it out.

I finally finished up the judging of March's official round of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . I want to thank my guest judges... Fran 💜 💜 💜 , ElaineElaine , and Lyn's a sly fox . It's not an easy task, and I'm grateful for their help. Join me in congratulating the winners...the Official 30DBC Honorable Mention is Prosperous Snow celebrating , and the Brother Nature Honorable Mention goes to Cubby~Cheering House Florent! . 3rd Place (Blogging Merit Badge): PandaPaws Licensed VetTech ; 2nd Place (Blogging MB and 25k Awardicon): Charlie ~ ; 1st Place (Blogging MB and 50k Awardicon): skeason . A great bunch to be associated with.

Finally, most of you guys know I'm a fan of late-night talk shows, and this week will mark the end of David Letterman's tenure as one of the most influential hosts of all-time. His brand of comedy was the perfect anti-thesis to Johnny Carson's, and he has made a lasting imprint on countless comedians and talk show hosts to this day. If you're so interested, here is an article from Merrill Markoe  ...a co-creator and head writer of Letterman's show.

Well, that pretty much does it for me...it's all over but the editing I guess. Peace, it's my destiny, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!