The Babes and the Wolf

Leaving This Here

So, it’s been a while but today I’m taking a stand. I WILL update my blog and I will return to the habit of doing it regularly. No bullshit. No excuses.

Just around the time of my last blog post, I realized that there was so much going on in my life (too much) that I needed to take some of the pressure off. I needed a break from basically anything superfluous; which doesn’t so much mean writing per se (although it only stopped short of that because of sheer bull-headed will), but carving out time and emotional energy to complete fairly arbitrary and superfluous writing goals at a time when I’m running on a deficit of both definitely qualifies. So yeah, that happens sometimes; and sometimes it’s necessary. Every now and again we all need to go back into our burrows and lick our wounds. But then it just sort of continued and I know from past experience where indulging that sort of idleness leads.

Plus, there are things I just don’t like and find it very difficult to talk about and a couple of them have happened over the past three months. This is not exactly the first blog post I’ve started writing over that time, but considering the fact that the last three started with some variation of:

“I don’t really feel like writing right now. [Sic] I don’t really feel like sharing my feelings right now. I’d love to write (anything else), but I can’t think of anything else to write.”

I’m thinking I wasn’t quite ready yet.

And now that I’m finished exculpating myself from blogger’s guilt, I’m going to close my post with a few fairly glossed over updates so I can start my next post on a fresh page. And I don’t necessarily want to talk about certain parts any more than I have these few months, so I’ll just list them as quickly as possible so as to not have my post taken over by wallowing (which is what happened in all five previous incarnations of my “Hey, I’m Back!” post).

I moved at the end of July. The apartment is great. The Wubbles started daycare. Every one has been sick off and on since that very first day. M died in August, about five days before her birthday – and that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. Maybe I’ll blog about it later. Or submit one of my extremely wallowy entries from before. I spent a month and change after the move public-commuting to the Bronx (FROM NJ!!!). My sister’s decided she’s not talking to me again because I’m not paying enough attention to her needs - whatever. I don’t rent space in my head for other people’s emotional baggage anymore – but it brought up a lot of stuff and no, I have no intention of getting into that. I started my new job in September and spent the first month fucking up and generally making stupid mistakes until I realized that what I was dealing with was a combo of depression and my own resistance to the direction in which my career has gone with this change.

So, now that I’ve started pulling my shit back together and restored my good standing at work, I’m here on WDC uploading a blog post. Ooooh and I’M PREPPING FOR NaNoWriMo!!!

More on that...