Second Helpings

Old and Cold

As we gallop towards the season I love to hate, I swear it just gets worse every year and the urge to hibernate until it’s all over becomes stronger. I admit each year I have less of the energy required to cope with it all because simply put, I’m getting older. I realise that applies to everyone, but we senior citizens need no reminder we have more yesterdays than tomorrows.

So just when you’re feeling your age, the cold, damp days kick in, the daylight hours shorten, the mayhem starts rolling and you’re feeling pretty depressed about it all, a leaflet drops through your letterbox just to rub salt in the wound and ensure you end up tempted to slit your wrists.

I’m not sure how much has been spent on this particular pamphlet printed on top quality paper or whether it’s been circulated to every home in the country, but as well as making we more elderly folk feel like we’re a burden and might pop our clogs at any moment, it’s an insult to our intelligence. Unless of course they believe we’ve all lost our marbles as well as our ability to look after ourselves.

This leaflet of information on how to stay well this winter if you’re over 65 is full of tips, hints and joyful revelations. I sat down in a bit of a lather after a morning of household activity and decided to read it while I drank my coffee.

First off I’m informed the cold and damp weather, ice, snow and high winds can make us more vulnerable to illnesses. Well who knew? Being cold can raise the risk of increased blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes and depression. Cheerful stuff, but short of emigrating I don’t see much we can do about it.

But wait…next are some tips to stay well this winter.

Heat your home to at least 65 degrees fahrenheit.

That would take a miracle when you live with Mr Pennypincher and besides I don’t feel the cold particularly and I do have the ability to know when we need the heating on.

Keep your bedroom window closed on winter nights.

Excuse me, but I cannot sleep in an unventilated room and would probably suffocate without a bit of fresh air circulating. It’s my window and I’ll open it if I feel like it. Again, I do have the ability to work out if it’s freezing, blowing a gale or snowing I probably need to close the window.

Keep active when you’re indoors.

The opportunity to be inactive would require a miracle with my family and I think I can decide when hypothermia might set in if I ever did sit still for any length of time.

Wear several layers of light clothing.

Anyone who wishes to do this is quite welcome to, but on most days even one layer ensures I’m puthered after being active indoors, particularly if the heating is at 65 degrees. Any more layers and I swear I’d become a victim of self combustion.

Make sure you’re stocked up with enough food supplies for a few days in case you can’t go out.

I don’t think I know anyone who owns an empty fridge, freezer or store cupboard in these times and I do have the ability to knock up meals from scratch after a lifetime of cooking thank you. Besides, most need no encouragement at this time of year to stockpile as the season of greed and indulgence approaches.

The leaflet then goes on to tell us what to do if we do fall ill. 'Don’t wait' it tells us…get advice from your nearest pharmacist. So after being in a heated home with all windows closed, wearing several layers layers of clothing and now feeling unwell, it’s okay to go out in the cold and damp, ice, snow and high winds to visit the pharmacist miles away?

I’d like to tell whoever wrote this leaflet what to do with it which involves sticking it somewhere else where the sun don’t shine.

A leaflet on how to cope with being a grumpy old woman might prove more useful however.