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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/873338
Rated: E · Book · Comedy · #2074957
A young, psychotic republican goes to a treatment program, and meets psychotic democrats.
#873338 added April 25, 2016 at 6:34pm
Restrictions: None
Treating Women With Respect
Treating Women with Respect

Since she was an attractive blonde girl, who also looked young for her age, I was sexually attracted to Monica, and I masturbated to her every night; but as for the rest of the girls, I loathed them for their appearances; well, Mary was the exception, but Adam had her. I would always offer favors for Monica, like holding up an umbrella and pulling up a chair for her, while completely neglecting doing ay of those services for Lily and Jackie. Though we got along, when I invited her out for coffee, she rejected the proposal. After having an argument with Lily, Lily retaliated by telling Monica that I think she is a whore and am just using her for sex, which caused Monica to turn against me.
I whined to Rick about how a fat girl would treat me in such a manner, since I felt so superior, but Rick completely ignored me. I then spoke to Maratha, who gave me advice on how treating women with respect will get me laid; however, she was subsequently fired for an unrelated reason undisclosed, so I now had no one to talk to. Rick eventually recommended to me that I invite one of the girls I deemed less pretty, over to play cards, and I said it would be pointless, since a woman who I wouldn’t stroke my penis to has no purpose in this world; Rick reported that statement to John Butler. In retrospect, I also disliked Jackie because she got mad at me for dubbing sticking my finger down my throat as the cure for obesity; and I also felt that the fact I confused her for a man when I met her made me question her lifestyle choices.
In the early 1900’s, Austrian physician Sigmund Freud initiated the practice of “free association”: the idea was for the patients to tell him heir most disturbing thoughts, so he could treat them for mental disorders. On September 30th, 2010, Dr. Butler would use that practice on me.
“We need to discuss your attitude towards women.”
“Dude, my attitude is fine. I don’t like unattractive girls, but since I don’t want to f*** them, they are venial to me.”
“Your attitude is why you are still a virgin.”
“Are you a virgin?”
“Of course not!”
“My attitude is normal; I only respect good-looking girls. No one cares about ugly women. Think about it, if something bad happens to a little CP girl from the hood, she is going to get less attention than a child beauty queen who is discovered murdered in the basement of her wealthy parents.”
“Why don’t you write a speech and give it down at the walking mall.
“Great idea, and I will use F Scott Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby to describe my point of view; if Daisy were ugly, neither Tom nor Gatsby would have given a f*** about her.”
“Your attitude is going to f*** you in the ass, which is all you will get.
“How am I going to get f***ed in the ass. I am not Matthew Shepard. I don’t like it when men touch me.”
“Please stop taking advantage of the fact that I am not allowed to make it so your teeth become a part of my desk. Oh, by the way, your shirt is horribly wrinkled.”
“Dr. Butler, I want to point out to you how it is only the ugly women who get raped, since no one cares about them. Why else do you think everyone ignored Anita Hill? The whole reason we have the feminist movement in this country is because fat chicks who don’t want to acknowledge that they aren’t being victimized because they are women, but are merely being victimized because they suck and no one loves them. I am here to get better; I am not here for liberal propaganda to be enforced upon me; I am here to work on my f***ing issues.” Are you sure that you’re not in denial about how one thinks the way I do, and the fact that one thinks the way I do was so horrible for you to bear, you had to believe I was wearing dirty clothes? I don’t get why people have these amazing expectation for me to be this altruistic person, who doesn’t care about being rich or having beauty. I never see anyone hanging out with ugly people with deformities, so I don’t get why anyone expects me to be this amazing person who would? Being shallow – having all of the money you want, having amazing skills, and having pretty girls to hang out with – is so much better than being a loser who has some s***ty friends, even if those s***ty friends are nice people. How would you feel if you saw Mike Tyson, not raping, but dating a retarded girl?”
“Harry, you have seen Back to the Future, right?”
“I love that movie.”
“You remember Biff?”
“Yah!”
“What you are saying sounds like something that would come out of Biff’s mouth.”
“I did better in school than Biff did.”
“You will never lose your virginity.”
“Wouldn’t Don Imus be a better example of being sexist?”
“He was a little more appropriate than you were”
On October 2nd, 2010, I had to go grocery shopping with Jodi Kane, in which Monica came along to do the grocery shopping for the girl’s house. Jodi Kane was in charge of managing the buildings; she was a 53-year old woman with a bowl cut hairstyle. I decided to ride the electric scooter throughout the store, which pissed Jodi off; and she told me that if she raised me, I never would have acted this way; and that made me think, “. While driving home, I told Jodi and Monica a story about when I was 15, and I decided to go out and steal mailboxes around 3:00 A.M., and how the cop thought I was running away when he saw me, so the cop brought me home. Even though I decided to debate her on whether or not white kids endure police brutality, Monica seemed impressed that I wasn’t conforming to impress her.
Later that night, after Winfield Miott told me I should pay for my haircut, I went to Polly House to find someone that would allow me to share my feelings:
“Is anyone in Polly House?”
“What is going on, Harry?”
“Why the f*** don’t people understand me?”
“OK, IF YOU ARE GOING TO TALK WITH ME, YOU ARE GOING TO USE RESPECTFUL LANGUAGE, HARRY.
“Why are people so stupid that they can’t comprehend me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Winfield Miott recommended that I actually pay for my own haircut instead of putting in a request to acquire money form the parent-fund. If a Bolshevik wants to work here, he needs to put aside the teachings of Marx, Lenin and Trotsky.”
“He is not a communist; he is recommending that you become an independent adult.”
“This is the thing: I am angry because some people in this world have it better than I do. There are plenty of rich kids who are given what they want: the children on Sweet 16, Paris Hilton, The Kennedys, The Menendez Brothers and every child who lives on Park Avenue; if they have everything, I want it too. I don’t get what amazing expectations people have of me to keep them from expecting me not to be given a Ferrari. I know if I am given a Ferrari and I start driving it around Great Ascendency, people will be pissed off. What are with all of these amazing expectations?”
“Listen up, you spoiled brat, you don’t get anything in life without working for it. You need to spend less time watching reality TV, and more time interacting. You are form a well-off background, so you have the opportunities that everyone deserves – but doesn’t always have – and you are not entitled to anything else.
“So staff not seizing to tell me to pay for my own things after I laugh in their faces has nothing to do with me and their amazing expectations?”
© Copyright 2016 Cory Snyder (UN: coolboy007 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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